how to use advice

I am not so sure if I would ever follow other people's advice.

Think about it, if the advisor was happy with a particular choice, there were also numerous circumstances that one cannot emulate and thus cannot duplicate similar outcome.

On the other hand, if someone is advising on choices that he or she has never experienced, then why should you take advice from someone who has not realized the potential of that advice?

These thoughts are the result of growing discomfort with friends who are always coming to me for advice. Even though I _love_ to tell people what to do, I am robbing people of their own experience if I give advice. Advice takes away the opportunity to struggle and to come up with the best choice at that particular given point.

What's more helpful is to listen and to let the person make his or her own choices.

Still, I like it when friends and family give me advice b/c that's how they demonstrate care. At the same time, I am learning how to use the advice as another way to look at the world.

For example. Over the weekend, my friend suggested that I don't ever talk about my dating life at work. I don't usually other than mentioning that I have a date; I am not remotely close to anyone at this job. Today, I violated my friend's rule and mentioned that I am no longer dating the last guy. I wasn't at all concerned, but my friend's words made me more aware of my co-worker's intentions in brining up the topic.

I realized that the person was trying to apologize for a mistake he made last week. This person accused me of wanting to leave the company (true) and demanded that I give two-months' notice (unlikely). Interesting given that this co-worker is a major reason for my current job search.

The irony was that the person handled the converation so badly that I didn't even want to discuss the matter and simply changed the topics to sports (safe with most men). It was that awkwardness that made me see the fear behind alienating me and the fear of losing my contribution to the team.

What a full circle, since fear is the reson why most people take advice rather than follow their intuition. I am happy to say that having erraticated fear from my life almost completely, I always make the right choices for me. Yes, my life has taken me down an unusal path, but I am here to live my own life and not to trace someone else's idea of a good life.