After two years, this is a good time to end this blog. I appreciate all of you for being there. I am staring in a new direction, so this blog has served its purpose. It has helped me grow, and I am in a very happy place.
To end on a positive note, here is an e-mail I got from M this week:
date Jan 7, 2008 2:16 PM
subject Inspiration for a new year
For all the important and special people in my life who have touched me in one way or another... this is my dream for all of us.
The dedicated life is a life worth living. Find something to love with all your heart. Discover what inspires your biggest dreams. Seek out a challenge that will create positive change and speaks of your purpose and makes a difference in the world. Throw yourself into something to believe in, that asks for your very best. We are here not only for ourselves; we are here to add to the sum of human goodness.
A good life is not lived by chance but by choice. We can be wise from goodness, and good from wisdom. Each person brings into this world a unique contribution and each day comes full of possibilities. All we need is time and opportunity; there is no such thing as an unimportant day. Our possibilities live as we live, and each one of us can bring hope and beauty to the world. Go out and find where people hold their potential and meet them there. Be not only good for yourself, but the cause of goodness in others. Inspiration and contribution go hand-in-hand.
Reach out and open the door that no one thought could be opened. Life is behind it. Believe in yourself. We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.Make every moment count. There is more in us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less. Settle for more. Is the life I'm living the life that wants to live in me? Do what you love. Growth means change, and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. Embrace change. If you risk nothing, then you risk everything. Take chances. You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right. Be brave. You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Find your passion. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. Go where you've never been.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
the payoff of generosity
Why give? So many of my social activities are about catering to other people, but what's in it for me?
First, every challenge I take on is a new life experience. There is a thrill of doing something new. Giving to others don't always go according to plan because I can't always predict people's reaction. I have thrown so many singles party, but not even one couple resulted. The biggest lesson of all is to have zero expectations and still have a positive experience.
Second, it's great practice for bigger things. Take this week. Besides hosting a dinner at my place for all my co-workers Friday night, I'll be taking five newbies to the slopes on Sunday for their first day of snowboarding ever. Those two events require lots of planning.
The invitiations were important. I want people to join me but also feel free to turn me down. Not everyone from work is coming to dinner, and that will just mean a more intimate dinner. For the Tahoe trip, I also now have the dilemma of having one extra person that doesn't have a ride.
I rented a car, but the driver of the second car bailed. I do know two other cars going, but it's a matter of figuring out how to get that extra girl to ride with strangers.
All the event planning and making things happen has been perfect training for all the other challenges I faced in life. Dating, especially being rejected, is cake compared to some of the mishaps I had to deal with trying to get people together. In dating, it's just one other guy. In event planning, I have had upwards of 60 people to please.
In preparing the five women for their first day, I made sure that everyone started to shop or borrow for gear. All the costs and the itinerary were discussed already with each person. I even sent two girlfriends who didn't know each other to attend a mock snowboarding class together where they practiced on a conveyor-belt like machine to fine tune their balance.
Most importantly, organizing events and planning my packed social life have been the perfect outlet for all the extra time as a single person. I would probably be much more desparate in dating if I usually sit at home and do nothing. I probably would have gone mad if I sat around and pondered about all the unfathomable behaviors that I had to face in dating men. Instead, I've got friends and fun activities waiting for me.
In an ironic way, the giving to my friends substituted the need to have a family right away. I am walking down that path, but taking my sweet time to enjoy each person who has joined me in the journey has been incredible. My travel buddies shape me and help to formulate the person I am meant to be.
I am having fun because it's more about my friends than about me. Learning how to let go of the ego and to be in the moment and enjoy life are the best externalities of making things happen.
Even though I am scaling back in 2008, I know the experiences will be so rewarding. There is much satisfaction in knowing that everything is easy from this point forward.
First, every challenge I take on is a new life experience. There is a thrill of doing something new. Giving to others don't always go according to plan because I can't always predict people's reaction. I have thrown so many singles party, but not even one couple resulted. The biggest lesson of all is to have zero expectations and still have a positive experience.
Second, it's great practice for bigger things. Take this week. Besides hosting a dinner at my place for all my co-workers Friday night, I'll be taking five newbies to the slopes on Sunday for their first day of snowboarding ever. Those two events require lots of planning.
The invitiations were important. I want people to join me but also feel free to turn me down. Not everyone from work is coming to dinner, and that will just mean a more intimate dinner. For the Tahoe trip, I also now have the dilemma of having one extra person that doesn't have a ride.
I rented a car, but the driver of the second car bailed. I do know two other cars going, but it's a matter of figuring out how to get that extra girl to ride with strangers.
All the event planning and making things happen has been perfect training for all the other challenges I faced in life. Dating, especially being rejected, is cake compared to some of the mishaps I had to deal with trying to get people together. In dating, it's just one other guy. In event planning, I have had upwards of 60 people to please.
In preparing the five women for their first day, I made sure that everyone started to shop or borrow for gear. All the costs and the itinerary were discussed already with each person. I even sent two girlfriends who didn't know each other to attend a mock snowboarding class together where they practiced on a conveyor-belt like machine to fine tune their balance.
Most importantly, organizing events and planning my packed social life have been the perfect outlet for all the extra time as a single person. I would probably be much more desparate in dating if I usually sit at home and do nothing. I probably would have gone mad if I sat around and pondered about all the unfathomable behaviors that I had to face in dating men. Instead, I've got friends and fun activities waiting for me.
In an ironic way, the giving to my friends substituted the need to have a family right away. I am walking down that path, but taking my sweet time to enjoy each person who has joined me in the journey has been incredible. My travel buddies shape me and help to formulate the person I am meant to be.
I am having fun because it's more about my friends than about me. Learning how to let go of the ego and to be in the moment and enjoy life are the best externalities of making things happen.
Even though I am scaling back in 2008, I know the experiences will be so rewarding. There is much satisfaction in knowing that everything is easy from this point forward.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
off to a good start
I love it that life is still full of surprised.
Went out Sat night. Usually, I go out w/just girlfriends. Last night was the first time that I went out with another woman and a whole bunch of guys...her friends and their friends. Never again. Receiving male attention has never been a high priority, and last night was a surprise reminder that I don't ever need men to compliment me or try hard with me to complete a night out.
These guys were out to meet women. I was just in the way of their game.
I don't go out to drink and meet people. I usually go out in order dance, as a form of sport. I usually dance until I am so sweaty that no guy wants to get close anyways. Well, I didn't break a sweat last night. Is that why I got bored and left early? Just wasn't having fun after a couple of hours. Glad I bowed out gracefully w/o compromising my experience or ruin anyone else's.
Another big surprise is how much I love the movie Atonment. The movie was beautiful. I can't relate to all that emotional stuff, so it was like going to the MoMA. I don't always get it, but I can appreciate it.
The third surprise is how all the uncertainties are so easily resolved. Appreciation to everyone who chimed in; I feel very cared for. Ironic that it was a bunch of guy friends and male cousin who gave the biggest support. In summary, people always reveal themselves to me eventually, and I just have to make the obvious and easy choices. Who says dating is complicated? It's only hard b/c we make it so.
2008 is off to a roaring start. I am so excited about where things are right now. Let me just capture this high of being completely happy and remind myself that it does get easier!
Went out Sat night. Usually, I go out w/just girlfriends. Last night was the first time that I went out with another woman and a whole bunch of guys...her friends and their friends. Never again. Receiving male attention has never been a high priority, and last night was a surprise reminder that I don't ever need men to compliment me or try hard with me to complete a night out.
These guys were out to meet women. I was just in the way of their game.
I don't go out to drink and meet people. I usually go out in order dance, as a form of sport. I usually dance until I am so sweaty that no guy wants to get close anyways. Well, I didn't break a sweat last night. Is that why I got bored and left early? Just wasn't having fun after a couple of hours. Glad I bowed out gracefully w/o compromising my experience or ruin anyone else's.
Another big surprise is how much I love the movie Atonment. The movie was beautiful. I can't relate to all that emotional stuff, so it was like going to the MoMA. I don't always get it, but I can appreciate it.
The third surprise is how all the uncertainties are so easily resolved. Appreciation to everyone who chimed in; I feel very cared for. Ironic that it was a bunch of guy friends and male cousin who gave the biggest support. In summary, people always reveal themselves to me eventually, and I just have to make the obvious and easy choices. Who says dating is complicated? It's only hard b/c we make it so.
2008 is off to a roaring start. I am so excited about where things are right now. Let me just capture this high of being completely happy and remind myself that it does get easier!
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