freedom

Went to a small designer shopping event. It's like those electronic shows they have at convention centers except this one is for clothing and assessories. Not wanting to deal with traffic and parking, I took the bus. A great idea! The event was fun, and I had almost door-to-door chauffeur service.

Taking the bus gives me so much freedom. I can read, rest, learn the streets in order (THIS is how I know SF so well), and mostly, practice my gratitude for life. According to scientific research, the only proven indicator of happiness is gratitude (not health, wealth, or even family).

Riding the bus is also a very natural way to interact with the rest of the city. Besides tourists, the rides are always telling of what the city is about. Tonight, there were a lot of the working crowd and young people just out of school and the party crowd b/c it's Thursday. For someone like me who lives a very sheltered life, public transportation reminds me that I am just lucky. Many people don't have a car not because they don't work hard or are not frugal.

It does bother me that many people who have achieved financial freedom criticism others for laziness or poverty. Success is learned, but fate alters whether we interact with those opportunities to learn about what it takes.

I don't even have what it takes, but I happen to be very lucky in meeting people who inspires me, starting with my parents. Well, more on that another time. Have to get up early to build a Habitat for Humanities house tomorrow!

the constants

Last night, a late night workout at the gym got me thinking: what are my constants?

Constants are the things that one can count on and with little uncertainty.

For me, the constants are many: family, friends (the friends can change, but the ability to connect with them is the sure thing), workouts, driving my car, libraries, cooking good food, finding good deals, and the list goes on.

The two things missing from my list of constants are work and relationship. I lost that complete confidence in my job when I started this new job. Finding another job is a way to try to make my job a constant again.

Same thing with dating. Having had few periods where a man is a constant in my life, I know it's more fate than actual effort. Still, dating someone who is not quite ready for a relationship, I have to wonder where I stand on the committment scale. Oh yeah, one thing that is not and will never be a constant - feeling desparate!

setbacks

So I set up my wireless network (after talking to my personal tech support - my brother).

It proceeded to work for all of 10 minutes. Am back to the plugged version of DSL.

No time to figure this out today. Too worned out from work. Glad I am sending out those resumes.

Am taking a poll on this whole dating multiple people concept. Know lots of people who did/are doing this. What is the proper protocol? Is it allowed until the exclusivity conversation is brought up? Do I have to say anything to the first guy, or is it part of what dating is?

We shall find out...

yet another inspiration

Yesterday, I went to a open house at The Lansing in Rincon Hill. What an impressive building. After living at The Met, the building across the street, and finding fault with that design, I thought high rises were all the same - great if you can afford the view, but too small and pricing for entertaining.

The tour gave me new hope that Rincon Hill will be the area that put San Francisco on the world map. Besides having bedrock (less prone to earthquake damages) and the views, the world-class architecture may transform the City.

Read up on the developer, Lambert Development. The company also built The Brannan, a beautiful complex in South Beach. The research gave me new focus. If a developer can bring the design necessary to curb all criticism, then I too can change the world. Maybe a grand complex is not in my stars, but seeing The Lansing made me want to do great things.

Now, if they can just revamp the isolated neighborhood (and the main reason I moved out of the area)...

pity

Saturday night was the usual dancing with friends. We always have the best times b/c we don't much care being silly at the clubs (hurray for getting older!).

Someone else also didn't care what other people think. We noticed this cute young guy near us at one point. Perhaps the intensity was what drew our group's attention. Apparently, he was waiting for his gf. We realized this because he was yelling so loudly at her later on. Despite ear plugs and loud music, I could still hear him shouting at her with so much anger.

It was an unpleasant sight. I could only see her back and his face, but it was painful to witness the event. Perhaps he was so angry that he didn't mind making a scene.

What was even more scary was how long this went on. We must have danced an entire song. Maybe 5 minutes, but it felt like the whole night.

At one point, I really thought about going up to the woman and telling her that no one should take this kind of abuse from a man. That's what it was; I witnessed verbal abuse and felt the pain. Thinking now, her silence suggested that this has happened before.

From the crowd and his face, I could tell that they were younger. In that instant, I decided to just be a silent observer. Still, this memory will stay with me for a while. It was a day that made me very, very glad that no man has and will ever treat me like that...