eye opening

Went to Oakland to hang out with my friend A Friday night. She is African-American. Met her at a happy hour through a friend and just love her positive energy.

We sat by the window during dinner and checked out the other patrons and the people on the street. At one point, we noticed a very beautiful black woman. She joined another couple in the table next to us. We were curious as who was her date, since there was a fourth setting.

What was it about her? It was her stylish hair, her bohemian-yet-glamours outfit, and her confidence. She was HOT and elegant.

A few minutes later, another cute woman walked by. We concluded that she must be from the South. She was dressed for church, complete with dress pumps... It turned out that she was the fourth in the dinner party.

A was not surprised. She concluded that if she is set on finding a black man, she is going to have to move out of the Bay Area. Apparently, there are not enough black men who are college educated or above relative to black women in the same social-economic class.

This is the first time in my life that I entered the black community outside of work. I am glad A and I have become good friends; I am starting to see the world through her eyes. It is a very different world. The Bay Area black woman is like the South Bay Asian man, doesn't have enough available candidates in her own ethnicity.

Well, the night ended well. We went to a club across the street and chilled. When the music turned to salsa, A and I got up to twirl ourselves around. A couple of black guys asked us to dance. It was refreshing to dance with a gentleman who led with patience. Why does it not surprise me that this young man grew up in a foreign country?! I rarely meet an American man (of any ethnicity) who impresses me. :P

I didn't give him my number though. Not quite ready to give up my preference of dating Asian men.

Still, one couple figured it out. A and I asked an Asian brother to take a photo of us, and he was with a hot black woman...

do no wrong

At times, it's fun to impress others with our wit and accomplishments, but who can you really count on?

Over the weekend, E and I talked about how if we truly care about someone, that person can do no wrong.

Last night, E and I were planning to meet up for a drink, and he canceled. No big deal, since we just saw each other Sunday. In fact, it's nice to know that he is in the inner circle...

playing

My girlfriend J told me recently that she's just looking to fall in love. Wow. I don't even think about that any more.

For me, having fallen in love enough times, I don't know if I need that any more.

My timeline is unconventional. While most of my single female friends (even the ones much older than me) are looking for their hubbies, I just ask for the one person that I can feel happy around.

Well, I have that already, so even if it's not mutual, I don't have to look any more.

So that's it in the dating department. It's time to just play with everything else. Time to explore other areas of my life...

embrace the unknown

In a world where everything is plotted out like a printed map, my life is a series of adventures.

Rather than finding meaning in a linear life, where one feels compelled to make a certain amount of money or to get married by a certain age, I offer a more vibrant alternative to live.

The majority of my choices in life were based on instinct. I just know I have to do it. It's more efficient for me to go with my gut than the sit around, twittle my thumb, and wonder/worry until the window of opportunity closes.

It gets harder to let go of expectations as people age. Still, think back to being a child. A kid doesn't think too much about consequences or how he or she should act. They just know who to hang out with (usually good people who are patient with them) and what to do next.

I want to be more child-like now more than ever because all around, everyone is so serious and sometimes jaded. I have enough people telling me that I am making mistakes that I don't even think negatively any more.

It's all very amusing to me that life does get easier, if you allow it to be easy. I have never feel better, and it's all because I choose to embrace the unknown. Guess this is what is meant by letting go!

set me up!

Ready to get back out to the dating scene. Right, I never left.

Am ready to be set up though. So go through all your contact list and find me... a SF slacker who is respected!

Decided that while I am in my uber-ambitious mode right now, I just don't have time to deal with another driven, selfish man.

Bring me the beta male (as oppose to the alpha male). Still, I cannot be bored with a simple man, so maybe he gets respect through his humor or pecs or abs.

This is going to be an interesting summer!