growing

I love a good party, especially hosting. This 4th, I ended up attending other people's instead. It was wonderful to meet new people and catch up with old friends. The best part is the second party was close to my brother's place, so I could stop by and get rested. Those South Bay events are fun, but the drive is long.

I like spending time with people who are very different. The experience challenges me and makes me see everything more clearly.

The one thing that I felt today from many men that has been missing in a lot of the men I dated of late is sweetness, a certain eagerness that is almost clumsy. I see how I've lost so much of that when I talk to men. Blah, I must sound so stuck up.

This latest crush is no longer b/c he takes my company for granted. I told him that I don't want to be a convenience. Why be more than friends if he isn't going to be serious about me? True, no one knows what is going to happen, but I always know when the guy is not into me. Curse or blessing? Definitely a blessing.

So I move on.

p.s. The iPhone made an appearance. So Bay Area where the place to review gadgets is at parties and not the retail stores.

right to choose

Been spending time with older women who don't have children. These women have cultivated themselves and have the luxury to care for anyone they choose, including me. I like being taken under their wings. The wisdom from an older female friend is invaluable as I navigate through my career and love life.

I now know that women are always givers, and it is in our nature to care. That's why motherhood is so fulfilling; it is the ultimate role as care takers. Still, I give in my own ways. My life will always be filled with people, and I will always give w/o expecting anything in return.

It is quite liberating to be in my 30s and to have zero pressure to marry and to have kids. Perhaps this lack of desparateness is what makes me more attractive now than five years ago. I don't have to cater to anyone in hopes of settling down. I am with a man because I enjoy his company. Dating and getting to know men have shaped me because I learn from all of these men's best qualities.

Similarly, I am learning much from my older female friends, especially that life is meant to be lived with joy and passion. I am inspired to live each day as if it were my last. So I could use more sleep and stay in more, but I have the rest of my life to rest. For now, I am having too much fun!

the old and the new

Went on a tour of SOMA buildings Fri. Caught a good picture of past, present and future. It's the Chronicle headquarters in SOMA, the renovated Mint, and the InterContinental Hotel.