Was trying to go out dancing and even found 4 parties to go to tonight.
Of course, all 4 women I invited couldn't go for some reason.
Ended up at a fundraiser
function at a bar to meet up a friend. Wow, this is the pickup scene
huh? I don't mind being nice and talking, but the judgment gets old. Don't need people to tell me who I am.
Still, it's good to do something different. I probably don't want to date these men (those buttons looked uncomfortably tight), but it's good practice.
This is going to be the experiment year. Date people I normally would not come in contact with and do something different just to try it out. Can I change dramatically once again?!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
attack
I am so used to people attacking my choices in life because I don't always pick the most popular or the most logical choice.
I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.
Oh well.
Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.
Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.
Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.
I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.
No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.
I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.
Oh well.
Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.
Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.
Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.
I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.
No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.
not a yes woman
Recommended to the board to not seek back rent but rather just move forward with the land exchange deal and end the sporadic encroachment problem.
My recommendations were not even acknowledged.
Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.
Note to self to keep applying for jobs.
It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.
At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.
My recommendations were not even acknowledged.
Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.
Note to self to keep applying for jobs.
It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.
At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
oh my head hurts
Been given a new assignment at work, and it's just so silly. Our company the landlord never signed a contract with the tenant. The tenant pays rent every month. Now board member claims that the tenant owes rent for using land outside of the agreed upon area.
There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.
Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.
There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.
Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
in that instant
The two people who I am crazily in love with are my parents. Yes, it's a bit odd, but I always feel better when I am around them.
Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.
Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.
I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.
Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.
Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.
I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
working women
Called my friend A after a 12-hour day. Monthly community meeting tonight. Turns out that she was still at work at 930pm.
As a reward, she is having coffee with her platonic friend/admirer at 11. Too bad she is not interested b/c I'm sure he is. A, you playah!
A and I talked about the state of those of us women who are independent and hard-working. We are not interested in 99% of the men we come across. Then 99% of that 1% we appreciate is married. That means...
...partly why so many of us are single. Hate to generalize, but I do know many, many more stellar single women than stellar single men.
I just have to gripe. I blame it on the mothers. If the mother has her own issues, then the result tend to be an unhealthy relationship with the son. Those of us who date the sons who don't respect women enough know the symptoms: the men are either needy or selfish.
Thank goodness for single girlfriends. Now that I have a harem of female friends, I can better handle this crazy life of a single working woman. Yes, still looking for my man, but only if he is worthy to meet all the chicas...
As a reward, she is having coffee with her platonic friend/admirer at 11. Too bad she is not interested b/c I'm sure he is. A, you playah!
A and I talked about the state of those of us women who are independent and hard-working. We are not interested in 99% of the men we come across. Then 99% of that 1% we appreciate is married. That means...
...partly why so many of us are single. Hate to generalize, but I do know many, many more stellar single women than stellar single men.
I just have to gripe. I blame it on the mothers. If the mother has her own issues, then the result tend to be an unhealthy relationship with the son. Those of us who date the sons who don't respect women enough know the symptoms: the men are either needy or selfish.
Thank goodness for single girlfriends. Now that I have a harem of female friends, I can better handle this crazy life of a single working woman. Yes, still looking for my man, but only if he is worthy to meet all the chicas...
read between the lines
From: General Manager
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:31 PM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Please call xxxxx
xxxxx,
It is not up to you to make announcements or pronouncements or redirect consultants, I am still the General Manager! While I concur that xxxxx is taking the lead on the RFP process, that process is a relatively narrow area of the settlement with xxxxx and I cannot agree with you on your assessment of original direction since I take my lead from the Chairman. So you will take direction from me on these issues and further I will be involved in all aspects of this effort.
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:31 PM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Please call xxxxx
xxxxx,
It is not up to you to make announcements or pronouncements or redirect consultants, I am still the General Manager! While I concur that xxxxx is taking the lead on the RFP process, that process is a relatively narrow area of the settlement with xxxxx and I cannot agree with you on your assessment of original direction since I take my lead from the Chairman. So you will take direction from me on these issues and further I will be involved in all aspects of this effort.
be the man
One thing that I don't do any more is ask the guy out. After this last guy, I am spoiled. He always call, pick me up, and take me out. It was fun to meet someone who lives in the City for a change. I appreciate the experience, especially his good company.
More than ever, I am ready to settle down. Just have to wait for the right man. PJ said that I set my standards too high, but there is a reason that they call it settling. I am asking for a lot, but I have dated enough to know that it's not unrealistic.
The rest of my life goes on. Work is so intense right now it's crazy, but I am ready to ask for another raise and stepping up the networking. Like anything else, no point in complaining. Just have to get the work done. Happy right now because life is so harmonious and balanced.
More than ever, I am ready to settle down. Just have to wait for the right man. PJ said that I set my standards too high, but there is a reason that they call it settling. I am asking for a lot, but I have dated enough to know that it's not unrealistic.
The rest of my life goes on. Work is so intense right now it's crazy, but I am ready to ask for another raise and stepping up the networking. Like anything else, no point in complaining. Just have to get the work done. Happy right now because life is so harmonious and balanced.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
dare
Rather than trying to go to Tahoe all by myself, I decided to do something daring and find a random person to go with on craigslist. I was open to gender and age.
There was an ad m4w looking for someone to carpool last weekend. I replied in part because that the person posted in the strictly platonic section. With a good feeling about the ad, I replied and sent in my picture.
After a few short e-mails, the guy and I agreed to meet at a Safeway parking lot near my place and take a day trip to Tahoe. Up until the in-person meeting, I didn't know what the person looked like.
Everything worked out, and I had a blast. Got to the blacks and found a kindred spirit. Even made it back Saturday night in time to join my future sister-in-law for her bachelorette party where we danced until wee hours.
The most interesting thing about the experience was everyone else's reaction. There was a lot of worrying and even some self-defense advice Friday. One friend even told that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Yes, there were reasons to be alarmed, but I felt that I did what I could to hedge my risks. Day-trip snowboarders and skiiers have to be dedicated enough to make those trips. Plus, my e-mail exchanges with the person reassured me.
I truly believe in fate, and if it's in my cards to get hurt, then so be it. I have never had a failure because everything is meant to be. Still, I will never do this again because snow sports is to be shared with loved ones.
It was a strange weekend because for the first time, I found a reason to have kids. I want to share my world with my next in kin and to raise kids to express my values.
Don't know if it'll ever happen, but I dare to find out.
There was an ad m4w looking for someone to carpool last weekend. I replied in part because that the person posted in the strictly platonic section. With a good feeling about the ad, I replied and sent in my picture.
After a few short e-mails, the guy and I agreed to meet at a Safeway parking lot near my place and take a day trip to Tahoe. Up until the in-person meeting, I didn't know what the person looked like.
Everything worked out, and I had a blast. Got to the blacks and found a kindred spirit. Even made it back Saturday night in time to join my future sister-in-law for her bachelorette party where we danced until wee hours.
The most interesting thing about the experience was everyone else's reaction. There was a lot of worrying and even some self-defense advice Friday. One friend even told that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Yes, there were reasons to be alarmed, but I felt that I did what I could to hedge my risks. Day-trip snowboarders and skiiers have to be dedicated enough to make those trips. Plus, my e-mail exchanges with the person reassured me.
I truly believe in fate, and if it's in my cards to get hurt, then so be it. I have never had a failure because everything is meant to be. Still, I will never do this again because snow sports is to be shared with loved ones.
It was a strange weekend because for the first time, I found a reason to have kids. I want to share my world with my next in kin and to raise kids to express my values.
Don't know if it'll ever happen, but I dare to find out.
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