Yes, one day Mr. Right will appear and sweep me off my feet...Or not. Now that I accept the reality that I could end up without a life partner, I am a lot happier. Having a family is still a major goal in life, but I am not quite ready to settle down just yet.
It's all about cultivating my spirituality right now. By tapping into my spiritual self, I am able to connect with lots of people who are good companions.
Wanted to learn to tango, and I met a new friend who is a good dancer but new at tango too. Wanted to go see a risque foreign film, and my friend suggested it first. Love hockey, so will tag along another big group who arranged to watch the game at the Tank.
Life is full of opportunities to realize our dreams, but it is up to us to be true to ourselves and to be confidant. Cultivating the connection to my spirituality is the guidance I need to accept life's uncertainty. Growing my spiritual self is the key to finding answers. Dad was right, all the answers are within, and I shall not fear but only embrace challenges, overcome them, and succeed beautifully.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
settling
Another friend asked me why so many of us are single.
My new theory is that there is a fine line between settling and finding the right person. Most people don't want to settle; they want Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Compared to dating just a generation ago, we have so many more expectations of our mates.
Instead of just a person to have kids with, we now want a friend, a confidant, a model, a genius, a tycoon, and the list goes on.
How many of your parents are actually all those things to each other? Yet we want it all?! Some of the traits are not even compatible. A lot of men who appreciate my outgoing personality are disappointed to find that I don't want to spend all my free time with them...
Instead of going for so many qualities, maybe just pick two. I know my two... ;)
My new theory is that there is a fine line between settling and finding the right person. Most people don't want to settle; they want Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Compared to dating just a generation ago, we have so many more expectations of our mates.
Instead of just a person to have kids with, we now want a friend, a confidant, a model, a genius, a tycoon, and the list goes on.
How many of your parents are actually all those things to each other? Yet we want it all?! Some of the traits are not even compatible. A lot of men who appreciate my outgoing personality are disappointed to find that I don't want to spend all my free time with them...
Instead of going for so many qualities, maybe just pick two. I know my two... ;)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
meeting of the minds
Had an interview at a law firm yesterday. Yes, I am considering returning to the profession where many are dissatisfied. There is something about the way us attorneys think, and no other profession can beat the quality of training.
It was a great interview. We went as far as discussing starting dates and salary, but there are a few more candidates yet to meet the partner.
The highlight of the conversation was discussing the other members of the firm. One of them is not licensed to practice although went through law school and does excellent research and writing. That person is currently in China on a personal investment venture. The other was on vacation and only works at 75%. I would replace an associate who moved to a bigger firm. What was impressive was the way this partner, who would be my direct supervisor, accepts his colleagues' choices.
Perhaps that is also my motto in life. I want to accept those around me completely despite their differences.
So now I wait. I will hear back next week. Regardless of what happens, I am psyched to meet a good soul, someone who is at his best despite life's challenges.
It was a great interview. We went as far as discussing starting dates and salary, but there are a few more candidates yet to meet the partner.
The highlight of the conversation was discussing the other members of the firm. One of them is not licensed to practice although went through law school and does excellent research and writing. That person is currently in China on a personal investment venture. The other was on vacation and only works at 75%. I would replace an associate who moved to a bigger firm. What was impressive was the way this partner, who would be my direct supervisor, accepts his colleagues' choices.
Perhaps that is also my motto in life. I want to accept those around me completely despite their differences.
So now I wait. I will hear back next week. Regardless of what happens, I am psyched to meet a good soul, someone who is at his best despite life's challenges.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
standing by my decision
I happened to look up parcel information for work, and I decided to check out my old place, the one that I bought together with my ex but then moved out of when we divorced. It was an amicable parting. He bought me out by paying me a lump sum that was suppose to cover my initial investment and the appreciation.
In California, community property is an asset acquired during marriage that is considered equally owned by both parties. At time of divorce, all assets are suppose to be divided equally.
At the time, I decided to take the buyout b/c I could not imagine throwing someone I cared about out into the streets. I took the cash, moved to my parents temporarily and got back on my feet shortly. Today, I have a place of my own.
My ex is now selling the place at a substantial windfall. He stands to gain double what I got from the settlement. The unequal payout is the reason why most of my family and friends urged me to sell the place and divide the proceeds equally.
Still, there are some decisions in life that are made more based on our gut than our logic. I knew that he probably would not have met, married his new wife and had a child as easily if it were not for his property in the City. The move would have taken a bigger toll than I could wish upon him even though he asked for a divorce in part due to my struggles with career.
I will never forget the way he declared that if my boss could not believe in me, how could he believe in me. However, I have long since forgiven.
The turn of events explained my father's prediction based on his fortune telling that my ex would need me more than I need him.
Today's information discovery is a reminder that I must always trust my gut in making unpopular decisions. I am glad that his new family will benefit as a result of my decision.
In California, community property is an asset acquired during marriage that is considered equally owned by both parties. At time of divorce, all assets are suppose to be divided equally.
At the time, I decided to take the buyout b/c I could not imagine throwing someone I cared about out into the streets. I took the cash, moved to my parents temporarily and got back on my feet shortly. Today, I have a place of my own.
My ex is now selling the place at a substantial windfall. He stands to gain double what I got from the settlement. The unequal payout is the reason why most of my family and friends urged me to sell the place and divide the proceeds equally.
Still, there are some decisions in life that are made more based on our gut than our logic. I knew that he probably would not have met, married his new wife and had a child as easily if it were not for his property in the City. The move would have taken a bigger toll than I could wish upon him even though he asked for a divorce in part due to my struggles with career.
I will never forget the way he declared that if my boss could not believe in me, how could he believe in me. However, I have long since forgiven.
The turn of events explained my father's prediction based on his fortune telling that my ex would need me more than I need him.
Today's information discovery is a reminder that I must always trust my gut in making unpopular decisions. I am glad that his new family will benefit as a result of my decision.
Monday, October 08, 2007
drama v. serenity
Over the weekend, met some new people who have lots of drama in their lives. Between dissatisfying work, mismanaged finances and unresolved romances, it's no wonder that the group partied hard.
It's all about being disciplined. Everyone talks about goals, but how many actually get rid of the distractions and focus?
Personally, I have a hard time focusing on my career, but it gets easier as I focus more in my own health and spirituality. By having sound mind and sound body, life's tough choices become much easier.
Work, money and love are all areas we want satisfaction, but those goals can't happen until we are healthy and spiritually connected to the universe. That means cutting off people or activities that hinder those first steps.
If one is struggling in matters of the heart, finance and work, it's time to tap into our physical and spiritual beings. The answers are all within, but we must be still to hear the messages.
It's all about being disciplined. Everyone talks about goals, but how many actually get rid of the distractions and focus?
Personally, I have a hard time focusing on my career, but it gets easier as I focus more in my own health and spirituality. By having sound mind and sound body, life's tough choices become much easier.
Work, money and love are all areas we want satisfaction, but those goals can't happen until we are healthy and spiritually connected to the universe. That means cutting off people or activities that hinder those first steps.
If one is struggling in matters of the heart, finance and work, it's time to tap into our physical and spiritual beings. The answers are all within, but we must be still to hear the messages.
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