E asked me today why all these people are single when we all seem to want the same thing. The men just want a nice girl, and the women just want a nice guy...
It's not that simple. I think there are two deterrents.
One is that our criteria have been warped by our unrealistic expectations. The men don't just want a nice girl. She has to be HOT, smart, educated and stylish. The women don't just want a nice guy. He has to be tall, handsome, athletic, funny, and make more money than her.
Hey, I am just summarizing these past few years' research. Personally, no two guys have been alike in my dating history.
The second challenge to finding someone is unwillingness to compromise. My divorce is a big lesson in that I was not ready to compromise with someone else. Maybe our generation has it too easy. We all grow up so cuddled by our families and live so comfortably that we don't know how to deal with adversity.
Unless we have had a very successful relationship in our 20s, most singles in our early 30s are out of practice when it comes to compromising with others. Most of us don't even have roommates because we can afford to have our own places.
Perhaps the number one consequence of busy work lives and zero community involvement is the loss of training ground for how to compromise. The work place is not a substitute for how to deal with people because there is the common goal of profit or getting something done. It is only through settling conflicting goals that we learn how to compromise.
unrealistic expectation + refusal to compromise = not finding someone
I am going to apply this theory on myself. Hopefully the match experience will be a starting point. I did e-mail a couple of people back. Will keep you posted.
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