Lately, when I hear of an engagement, the topics that follow are usually the details of the wedding planning: all the troubles that you have to go through just to say "I do."
I was married once but skipped all the formalities by having a private affair for 12, 14 counting the 2 cousins who crashed last-minute. The simplicity was due to time constraints, but I still feel lucky for not having to survive an expensive, exhausting ordeal.
These costly productions that run in the high five-digits are not what I believe in any more. Today, I joked to my girlfriends that I plan to find a partner and not a husband.
One of my mother's best friends had a life partner for the entire time I knew her. Their partnership was to be admired, overcoming stepchildren, lived-in in-laws and diverse cultures. They only married when his terminal illness required that legality. To me, that story shows how society is still out of step with the reality of how people connect.
As much as I look forward to finding someone I can be with indefinitely, I never try to examine a romantic interest as whether that person can be the one. Dating is all about having fun, and the pressure of that person have to play a certain role in another's life kills the mood.
Perhaps we should all strive for a great partnership and let marriage take place as it is necessary. This way, we can take lots of fabulous vacations with our partners and enjoy the honeymoon period before we have to think about ceremony sites or cutting the guestlist.
