Talking to my supervisor yesterday, I remarked that my parents don't want me too work too hard. They are always telling me to relax. He replied that his mother is the opposite, always pushing him to do more.
As adults, why do we still let our parents tell us what to do?
Ever since I was a kid, I hated when people would tell me what to do. I was a rebellious child at 6 years old. I remember having shouting matches with my mother before I even started grade school.
Despite all the frustration, it was good training. Now, I figure out for myself exactly what I want and go after it. Sure, many of my goals are not the most popular, but they are what my gut tells me to be the right things.
It also makes it a lot easier to befriend people who are different. I am never quite sure of my goals until I get closer to that point, so I am very open to other people's lifestyles. This is how I end up with friends ranging from professor in Fullerton to business owner in Arizona to graduate student in New York. I need that diversity in my life to introduce me to my next passion.
The journey to my true self has been exhilerating although lonely at times. Maybe that's why I am so attracted to men who are good at keep their own company. To me, they are the most interesting people.
It's that balance of being with others and being by oneself. We need others for inspiration, but we also need a lot of time alone to cultivate ideas.
One noticeable difference since the new job is the lack of time to dream. Despite a good routine, I am finding it harder to change myself for the better. Living is a never-ending game, I must keep experimenting and carry out my destiny.
So the new mission is to always find that time for my inner self.
