new criteria

To make it simpler, I am posting my three current musts, in order of importance:
1. gentlemanly
2. worldly
3. successful (happy w/job)

It's not asking for much, noticed no physical criteria, no financial requirements nor educational standards.

Still, it's sad to think how many guys failed number one of late. I can't help it, but I blame the parents, especially the mothers. It's all in the formidable years; science shows that most behaviors are learned before 8. It's quite easy for most parents, especially mothers, to let their children behave badly.

It's not just on the parents though. I grew up in a very small community where plenty of caring adults - relatives, family friends, and even community elders - helped to guide my sense of right and wrong.

That guidance is still in my life. I have many older female friends (ranging from 40 to mid-60s) who are always there to offer their wisdom. Of course, my mother and close family friends also shape my conduct.

In contrast, most men simply don't have this collective wisdom to encourage gentlemanly behavior. I don't see older guys who treat ladies with respect, so the younger guys can follow suit. There isn't the community of responsible men who can tell men 18-35 that they should behave better, especially in the presence of women.

So, what to do? I think us women need to stop settling. If we see men being crass or being obnoxious, we need to distant ourselves or show our disapproval. For instance, I stopped inviting men who are offensive to my social events. I don't need that lowly kind of humor. In addition, I always speak up when a man is vulgar in my company. It's not acceptable!

There may not be an universal definition of worldly or successful, but one always know whether a man is gentlemanly or not. May you always be in the company of a gentleman!