Tonight, I turned down a casaul dinner party at a friend's house to go on a date. I told my friend that it was due to fatigue from the long drive, and it was true. What I didn't explain was that her intensity isn't always something that I can entertain.
Even though I have so many friends, not all of them fit the different sides of me. Very few people see my dark side, but that side can surface, especially when I am tired.
Last night, driving in the blizzard in an unsuccessful attempt to get to Reno from our vacation home, I definitely hit that dark moment. The stress of having to navigate with almost-zero visiability wasn't painful; I was overwhelmed by being responsible for my four passengers. I always want everyone to have a good time, and just the possibility of getting hurt or killed in a snow storm was not part of the plan.
I then realized for the first time that the friends closest to me are the ones to whom I can reliquish control. They are so capable that I don't mind their advice or to follow their lead. At the same time, these people know how to let me take control most of the time b/c that's how I want to showcase my talents and that's how I care for someone.
Hum, makes me wonder...How a guy takes control isn't nearly as important as why I can give up control so easily? I am not sure yet, but these dates may just explain it finally...
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