Watched a bit of Zoolander on TV last night, and the scene with the song Relax was funny. At the same time, that song feels like the perfect theme song for my life today.
It's been a while since I have been so relaxed. After a wonderful vacation and a visit to my masseuse, I am better than ever. Have a sports injury slowly healing, but I am no longer bogged down by the little things.
Why is that?
Perhaps I am finally able to let go of work. I recognized that work is not going to be the core of my identity right now. Yes I enjoys working, but I also value my life outside of work. Striking that balance was hard b/c I was measuring myself by the monetary and power status of those around me. Tough to view work objectively when I pressure myself to be something bigger than myself.
Right now, I just want to savor what I have in my life.
This holiday season, it's been a blessing to do so little. I have so little responsibilities right now. Even the idea of looking for a serious relationship seems ridiculous. I was mistaken. Just when I think I am ready for a significant other, the idea of just enjoying lots of men is still appealing. Why work at a relationship when I can have these loose ties?
It's a new stage in life, and I no longer call the shots. Yet I continue to gravitate toward the risks. Let's see what this next stage is all about.
