Had a conversation with a girlfriend last night who is always hard on herself. We even have a phrase for how she is: Shouda, Coulda, Woulda. She sometimes looks back at her past and regrets over what could have been.
I, on the other hand, looks forward. To me, the past happened already. Move on. Yes, I struggle with the present like anyone else, but I know that things will get better soon enough.
One thing that has helped me to cope with disappointments and challenges is diversity. By being exposed to so many different lifestyles and personalities ever since I was a kid, I know that my life is meant to have it own unique course.
Take wealth. Many people long for the life of the rich but really doesn't know all the responsibilities that come with wealth. I was fortunately to have witnessed the lives of several financially successful people through relatives and family friends. One fact of life that I learned before I was even ten was that wealthy people are not necessarily happier than the poor or the middle class.
Even though I strive for financial security like most people, I approach money very differently. I am fine with buying things second-hand or not eat out all the time if it means that I can have more free time.
By being with people who have money and those who don't have quite as much, I can see for myself what is it that I truly value.
Take many attorneys that I know. Many of them were enticed by the money and the prestige of the industry. Little did they know that the road to partnership is filled with long hours and overwhelming amount of work. It's also a profession that gives its workers so much money that it is not easy to walk away from the lifestyles of cleaning people and posh residents.
In the end, it's about one's values. There is no right or wrong values, since most people base their values on learned lessons and personal experience. Diversity does remind me that I have a lot more choices and don't have to settle for the obvious values, like marriage or wealth.
