will the real you stand up?

No matter how smooth or how suave, eventually everyone reveals him/herself. When people wish that they had seen the real person they were dating, what they are saying is that they chose to not see the truth.

It's much eaiser to see people for who they are than to project them into our ideal.

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The trick to get people to be themselves right away. Three common ways...

The first is to accept people unconditionally. On the first date, I am not thinking about anything other than to enjoy this person's company. They can make a fool of themselves, they can make a fool of me, but all I am trying to do is to have fun. This is why I love first dates. I have no expectations, and that's the key to getting to know someone beyond just the facts.

Perhaps that's why I rarely go to fancy restaurants for first dates. It's hard to joke and laugh out loud when someone is asking if everything's all right every 15 minutes...

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The second way to have people reveal themselves is to reveal yourself. This part sounds simple, but it's amazing how few people can do it.

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The last is luck. Bad luck that is. I always hope that something will go terribly wrong on the first date. Nothing like a bad meal, heavy rain, or strange encounter with third parties to bring out the worst or the best in people. More than once men were their most charming under unfortunate circumstances and won me over, even if just for the date.

Another way to have "bad luck" is to do something very ordinary. My favorite date is an afternoon in the park. The simplicity of being out in nature builds the foundation of a relationship - conversation. Even the mundane tasks of finding parking and getting lost help to reveal people's true colors.

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Forget the checklist and forget the ideal. Dating is about having fun and enjoying people's company. So why not take this chance to be your true self? After all, the more fun you have, the more fate will reveal itself and give you all the answers.