ka-ching!

Cultivating friendships is the best rewards program.

While I was going through the ups and downs of this last little dating episode, my friends were there to help me stay balanced and sane.

By always making time for my friends, I have been able to draw upon their support when it matters the most.

I am past the point in my life where I need lots of advice. Instead, I just need people who know how to have a good time without any drama. In the last two days, I managed to go to happy hour, dinner w/girlfriend, Sat breakfast at the best bakery in the Mission, rollerblading on the Embarcadero, and my favorite, dancing tonight. All these friends just stepped in to have some fun with me.

Wait, that's life every week! So, it goes to show, that by knowing my priorities and maintaining the perfect balance, life moves along happily, man or no man. Yes, life would be even better with a partner, but that day will be here soon enough.

For now, I am one happy chica! Wheeeee!

being very single, again...

Even though I had a gut feeling to call it off with the latest guy, I stuck it out on the advice of several close friends. True, rarely does someone share my lifestyle and can be so much fun.

After one too many canceled dates, it's over.

As much as I want to be understanding, I am just beyond waiting for these boys to become men. Instead of making excuses and expect me to be understanding, why not just admit that you are not up to par?

Is it my fault that I am ready to settle down while you are still so juvenile?

True, I detest elitism, but when it comes to finding the perfect mate, I cannot help but be picky. If I am going to ask that my children emulate this man, shouldn't he be the most perfect human being that I connect with?

The irony. The more I am single, the more I have time and resources to perfect myself, while most of the men (and women) are wasting time stressed out about not having someone. Com'on. Come carrying me off to the sunset before I bench my own weight already! btw, I'm at 70% of my body weight on the bench.

Okay, hitting the gym. These staying-in Friday and Saturday nights are doing wonders for my fitness!!


Lastly, this is yet another example of risk everything and GAIN everything. The more I opened my heart, the more I was able to see the other person clearly. By letting go of myself and being completely attuned to him, I see how it's not meant to be. Feel blessed to move on w/o getting hurt, again. Peace.

still the mind

Seven of my library books arrived this week. Any CA resident can reserve and check books out from SF library system. I usually find books on Amazon and "order" through the library. The library delivers it right to the closest branch.

Dived right into the Dalai Lama's Ethics for the New Millennium. A refreshing change from all the LEED reading.

It occurred to me that I had forgotten to make time for myself in the last few months. It's been so much planning and doing that I haven't been still. I love the frenzy pace, but it's time to change and be still. Just as I am switching from snow sports to summer activities, it's time to reassess activities and people.

Wonder what's next...

round one concluded

The interview was fine. I have the personality and the vision to fit in the firm. Ended up talking about how to make the land use legal business better.

Still, whether I can actually do the research and writing is on everyone's mind, including mine.

Let's see if I make it to the second round.

The irony was that my tentative date w/M was canceled b/c he worked late. That might be me soon enough...

priorities

I just turned down 2 tickets to the Sharks game tonight, and this just might be their last game this season. They are down 3-2 in the playoffs against the Detroit Red Wings.

That's how much the interview tomorrow means to me.

Sorry G, I said that I would take you...

slowing down

Just left a message for a friend to back off of a mini-triathlon race. Although I believe in taking every opportunity that presents itself, it's time to slow down. Time to still the mind and grow the soul.

I finally had enough fun and want to take work and romance to the next level. That means going outside of my comfort zone.

The possibility of career change doesn't daunt me, but the idea of compromising with a man is scaring me to death. If it wasn't for C, I could have been single again tonight. It's tough to date someone who is so busy. Oh, I see...

All along, C & E are the two friends who have been supportive of the new guy. Why? I'll find out. Still 3 more dates planned. Got to give it to the guy - we usually end a date by planning another date, or he calls to make one.

I am always in such a rush that this take-it-slow thing is crazy. Good kind of crazy. It's like I am not going to know for sure if it's going work out until it works out. hehe. Will have to wait and see.

Before the slow down, one more trip to LA. Here we go!

who i am

I used to think that I am so unique; I am the construct of my own creativity and efforts.

sort of...

Watching a good movie at the film festival tonight, and I see that I am an extension of my parents and quite proud of it.

For a long time, my only fear in life is that I will never be as great as my parents.

Tonight, I feel closer to stepping in their shoes. So much of who I am is them: my love of cities, the way I collect friends, and my joy. My parents have taught me so much about how to be a good person that I have hope that I will do great things.

Because the number one gift that my parents give me is the freedom to be myself.

ready, set...

I am on a natural high from the best weekend I have ever had. Gave a site tour for work, watched good movies at the film festival, spent time with family, friends and the new guy. Found time for myself in the kitchen, at the gym and watched some playoff games.

So now I am going to rock the boat by changing jobs? Why change the status quo when life is perfect right now?

Because it's time to take career to the next level. Am I a fool for wanting so much more than what I have? I don’t know, but what I do know is that the perfection in my life outside of work makes me want to improve my career.

Many people are cautioning me about the potential stress of a legal career. It’s too soon to have worries. In fact, right now, I am just trying to land interviews and get offers to see if I am realistic in my desire to return to the practice of law.

If the legal profession is not ready for someone like me, then I will have to reassess. Until then, I am planning and living in the moment.

for now, I am joyous

"I don't care about who you were, I just want to get to know you now." Ugly Betty

thirst for knowledge

Work is getting eaiser in part because I finally made up my mind about leaving. My company has several very unique projects, but even awesome projects cannot make up for a sense of belonging.

Going back to the law is a way to find kindred spirits.

I do miss working in a law environment because of the kind of conversations one has with very analytical minds. Some of my closest friends practice law, and I appreciate their perspectives.

It's also about having fun with my work. I've hit a plateau in my career; I need more expertise to take it to the next level.

True, I'll work more hours, but the focus will allow me to do more. Why not take advantage of this time to grow, so the time comes to walk away, I'll have the option to scale back?

One step at a time. Let's see where the interviews take me...

the future is here

Went to a San Mateo County business community event yesterday. Cool speech by former State Controller Steve Westly regarding the future of San Mateo County should be green technology. My company is trying to house the green tech in its mega commercial development.

Unfortunately, looking around the room, I realized that there is a disconnect between the speaker and the audience. When Westly put up a picture of Tesla and asked how many people know what it was, I was one of a handful in a room of over 200 people who can relate to the excitement for this all-electric sports car that can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. (Westly's new venture capital company invests in Tesla.)

Come on people!!

I have always been biased against San Mateo County b/c this is the community that voted against BART in the 70s. The original proposal for BART was to loop around the bay, but people who lived in the ritzy cities of San Mateo County feared that the poor from other communities would interrupt their seclusion. Thus, the BART proposal was vetoed, and now we have this incomplete system that still encourages driving.

History aside, I trust that people in San Mateo County may be motivated by one thing - future for their children. It's a problem when most of the kids who grow up in San Mateo County cannot find a job locally or afford to live near their parents.

The future is now. It's up to everyone to tackle the civic problems of the present, and I am truly lucky that my work is my passion. I want to make the world better now, so we aren't sitting 20 years from now with the same mistake that SF made - making it the only city in California losing the population of children. No matter how wonderful the weather, if the cost of living, availability of jobs and the quality of life aren't here, then CA will not be so golden.

just choices, no big deal

A friend of mine is considering whether to locate to a different city to take a new job and a big pay cut.

My rule of thumb on decisions is something I learned from a very interesting woman: Very rarely, do people look back and wished that they did not do something. Most people wish that they had taken opportunities to change their lives.

That golden rule has served me well. That's how I managed to take five out-of-state trips from Jan to mid-April this year! Different people were traveling to interesting places and asked me to go along. Saw so many new places for the first time, and with wonderful company too!

Taking chances also allowed me to be realistic about dating and love. I don't expect the world, but I do know quickly when it's not going to work. I have grown and changed into who I am meant to be in part b/c of the men in my life, and that makes the ups and downs all worth it.

Now, there are so many things I still want to do. Some of the items on my list: salsa dancing, motorcycle license, DJ school, get better at golf, buy another sports car (maybe the Tesla?!), and maybe have kids at some point. ;)

I don't want to waste time thinking too much about choices. Sure, big decisions like whether to go back to law could change me, but I rarely look back and wondered what if. I am always happy to be where I am and change if I want something different.

So D, whatever you decide, there is no "wrong" answer. Follow your gut.

stay tuned

A few friends e-mailed after the 4/22 post. They wondered if the intuition is more of an emotional response rather than a logical conclusion. It's so rare for me to meet someone who is on the same wave length that maybe I should give the guy a second chance?

True, maybe I am not the perfect fit for this guy, but a lot can change in the next few months.

He did call to plan the next date, and we also have tickets to the upcoming film festival.

If I am adventurous enough to want to get to know this guy, why not see where things go for a while? It's so hard for me to relinguish control, yet one of the main reasons why I like this guy so much is his ability to take control.

The interesting thing is that two friends are already urging to call it quits, yet they are the friends who are the most risk-adverse. I am grateful that some others are suggesting that I take a chance, because I would give the same advice. I know too well that big rewards awaits those who risk.

small victory

Got an interview with a law firm for the second week of May. Interviewed with this firm when I first got out of law school. It would be a land use attorney position. Dream job.

Lots to do: dig out writing sample, research on partners and associates.

No matter what happens, I am glad for the opportunity. Funny how the last time I interviewed there, so much was riding on it. Now, it's more a chance to re-enter the practice of law.

the only drawback to intuition...

...is that when things are over with a potential guy, I cannot turn it back.

Just made a date with the latest guy, but immediately after, I knew it was over. I cannot explain it, but during the conversation, I made a prediction that he will meet someone soon. That person will not be me.

This is the worst part about gut; the good comes with the bad.

Now I just have to find the time to break it off. Again.

what did you do for earth day?

Went to Home Depot to look at paint today. They happen to gave out free energy efficient bulb. I ended up buying 2 sets of 4 energy efficient flood bulbs. Just put them in. Wow, what a difference. Most of the old bulbs were just giving out heat anyways. 14 watt bulbs replace the 65w ones. That's a cumulative saving of 408w per hour. If I use the bulbs one hour a day, that's 148,920w of savings a year! Whoa.

Just a thought - Happy Earth Day.

letting go

Having a good dating experience right now b/c I finally learned how to not expect anything. Just enjoying the experience is wonderful; it's rare to meet someone at the same place in life.

Why can't I do the same with career? If I am meant to be at this point, why feel some frustration?

Time to change my attitude and expectations about work.

Hum...

priorities

A happy hour with one girlfriend tonight is turning into a 5-women get-together. Psyched that I still have lots of female friends to meet up with on a regular basis. Two of the women tonight are married, but they are both going to be in downtown right after work.

Should be interesting, as we are going to one of those bars that gets packed on Fri nights.

Am suppose to go on a date after that, but I am not even sure when exactly. For the first time, I am letting someone else take care of the details.

This week was just all girlfriends. Monday was dinner w/one, Tuesday was study group with another, and Wed was watching hockey w/two more female fans. And I worked late Thurs. I will make time for the right guy, but he'll have to find his way onto my calendar.

I do want to settle down, but I can have it all. It's about finding someone who is just as independent.

at crossroads

Considering career change again.

Now that I am clear about my lifestyle, it's time to take the work to the next level. Want to have more challenge, respect and control.

This complete satisfaction with my personal life makes me wonder about the potential in my professional career. Can I take it to the next level just as I have with my life outside work?

someone is listening

Oh my...