live for the weekend

Just made a breakfast get-together with my friend E at 8am Sat morning.

I love the weekends b/c it's a true reflection of who I am.

After breakfast, am going to the south bay for coffee at 11 and the family for lunch after. Have dinner plans with another friend and then going to do my favorite thing - dancing at 10. My old dancing partner is finally free for a night out, and I am ready to boogie. Plus, might also check out a club near me that supposedly has great house music.

Sunday will be low key. Just a brunch and maybe movie and more family time. Might go to salsa class Sun night, since another friend is going.

I know that this crazy single period of my life will not last forever, so I want to take advantage of the opportunities. I feel lucky that life is so full right now. There will be a time to settle down, but not now.

Now if I can only figure out when to make time for the new guy...

bliss

Had lunch with a friend today. Asked how her relationship is going. She said just fine. There was a knowing smile that came with that "fine".

I always know when my friends are in a happy relationship. It's when they have very little to report. It's when they are almost quiet about how good it is. It's when they have that knowing smile because they are loved.

Sigh. Lucky Ducky (as my friend M from Rio says).

I don't know if I will experience that ever again, but I am hopeful. Bliss may be a ways off. It may just be around the corner. I just know that my happiness is all about being myself right now.

focus

Started a new study group with a couple of women I met in the real estate business. They are both project managers at real estate development companies. What I thought I would be doing upon joining the company a year ago but not what I am doing at all.

It's nice to have the support on the career front, since most of my friends from school are doing other things.

Tempted at times to go back to law, because it's the one place where I do get some respect. Love my lifestyle too much though.

Like everything else, each step of my journey has led me to good people. Starting to truly believe that even my career ups and downs have their purposes.

the best part...

about dating is this initial period, when all one can do is flirt.

There is a certain freedom b/c if it ends now, no one gets hurt.

Ironic that in the past, I just want to get to the actual relationship. Now I just want to prolong the fun.

Yes, it would be great to have that one person who I can count on, but I already have that person, me. Plus all my family and friends. Yes, it would be wonderful to start a family with someone, but that'll happen in due time. I've got lots of time.

I still hope that this next person will be the one to settle down with. If not, at least there will be lots of fun.

mission v. destiny

Read B. Obama's book "Dreams from My Father" over the weekend. Grateful that I have enough time to read a book cover to cover in a short time.

It was a glimpse into someone who is relatively obscure on the political scene. It also got me to think about destiny. Barack Obama is, like the rest of us, just a culmination of his experiences. Those experiences ultimately led him to his candidacy.

Perhaps one reason I am still trying to figure out how to live in Argentina for a year or two is to find my mission. I am grateful for my life and all the happiness. I often feel as if I am the luckiest person alive.

Now, it's time to see where else I can make a difference.

why car?

Am organizing a trip with 3 girlfriends in another city. We are e-mailing about transportation today. Seems like some in the group defaults to renting a car. Why?

I'm at a point in my life where I am trying to not drive as much as possible.

Take work. Am using the free shuttle at my work a couple of times a week and lobbying for a car share company to designate a car at my building's parking lot. Then I don't have to drive at all.

Take errands. Try to walk to as many things as possible or order things online.

Even for eating out. I am encouraging people to come over for dinner or go to places around me.

With parking, maintenance, chance of accident and getting lost, driving doesn't seem all that liberating at all. Still, all these friends read the blog, so I am sure we will eventually figure out the best way to get around, rental car or not.

ride

i am crazy about the snow, but growing up, i would never have guessed that i would be skiing and boarding

was and probably still is quite uncoordinated

but there is something about carving on powder and being in nature

got into the sport for social reasons, but now this is something just for me

took another lesson today. my first female instructor in 11 years. she is in her early 20s, ready to go to grad school

the best thing about taking advanced boarding lesson is that so few people do that i often get a private

very cool. two chicks carving blacks. she got me to tackle some baby moguls too

yeah. life is pretty good right now

hahaha

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/Careers/10/20/cb.cushy.jobs/index.html

I could be a motivational speaker. :)

checking out the competition

I stopped dating off of match, but it's still entertaining. I suppose it helps to narrow people by interest or values, but who isn't nice and together on these one-pagers? At the same time, it's great for first impressions. I think it should just be head shots only, so we can just trust our gut reaction.

I like match in reading what the other women have to say. The modern version of "come and get me". Saw the profile of one woman that I just could not stand. She is the friend of a friend. Don't know what it is, I had a genuine dislike for her. Yes, I actually can dislike someone, and I am quite curious about her b/c of my strong negative reaction towards her.

Reading her profile today, my reaction changed. Despite her father's subsidy of her lifestyle, she is just like everyone else and has to put up a profile to be asked out. I guess wanting to find the right guy is something I have in common with her. We're just going about it differently. I don't need someone who shares my passions, since I am fine doing those things on my own.

I am looking for someone who is on the same wavelength. Perhaps due to work, I do care a lot about my career and don't want someone to be in the way of that pursuit. In fact, people who work a lot are going to get bonus points in my book. They can slave away at the office while I take over the world (or just jet off to the next vacation)...

investigation

A co-worker was fired Friday while I was on vacation. Hum. I wasn't very close to him, but my curiosity got me to ask around.

Definitely politics more than anything. Am uncomfortable that a senior manager at a sister company wants me to help. They were friends. Why get involved when it is the will of the board/management to fire someone? Maybe this is meant to be?

What was incredulous was that the senior manager wasn't willing to stick her neck out but asked me to talk to the board! I started to investigate and realized that the person simply didn't meet the standard of his supervisor.

Welcome to the corporate world.

what we cannot control

Had a great weekend, thanks to good company. No, it wasn't a romantic trip, but hanging out with people who are willing to ski in nonstop rain and snow was quite a bonding experience.

The crazy weather was a reminder that there are so many things we cannot control. There is always our attitude and being grateful.

better to be a woman

Went to see a few movies by myself during the film festival that is in town. Going stag has its benefits: there is always a good seat, and I can focus on the movie. Even the usher recognized me (very few people watch movies by themselves?)...

Last night, I happen to sit between 3 men, except they were all going stag too. It was funny b/c they all left a seat b/t themselves and the next guy. Is that how it is at men's bathrooms? Good for me, since I got one of the best seats in the house.

My friend C would say this is a good time to pick up. It was good practice, to talk to people in line and around my seat. Still, I kept to myself and my magazine. Just not up to picking people up randomly. Maybe this weekend if I sit next to someone interesting?

rules

What's up with this guy who got my number and actually calls? You are not suppose to call. It's all courtesy. You know, to make the woman feel good and say goodbye before you proceed to get the numbers of the rest of the women in the room.

Even he admits that he is breaking the five day rule: get the number Sat and wait at least until Thurs to call. He called Tuesday night!


We do have a first date, so let's wait and see.

girl power

Over the weekend, my little cousin corrected me when I mentioned for all the "girls" to take a picture. This eight-year-old announced that we (the older cousins) are women, not girls.

It was a touching moment. The spunky spirit of the family has just been passed down.

Lately, despite the ups and downs in every other area of my life, many, many women have been there for me. As much as we talk about needing a man, there is a reason why statistically, female companionship is the number one indicator of a woman's happiness.

More than ever, it is these women, most of them single, that are seeing me through my highs and lows.

So even though my Prince Charming must be at some finishing school, I am all right with some love from the ladies.

changing and accepting

Feeling so content. More than ever, I am taking the time to listen to my intuition. Yes, it's nothing new for me to follow my gut, but never have I been so aware of its inevitable truth. By asking myself what is meant to be before an event, I am more aware of the true meaning behind ordinary moments.

Take tonight. I was suppose to meet up with a girlfriend and her friend at the film festival. Then, my friend called to say that she couldn't get tickets in time. It was going to be me and her friend. Given that we have never met, we ended up not meeting.

I was also planning to meet up with a blind date from CL but decided against it. Something about the pushy e-mails made me not pursue it. I even programmed his phone number in case I wanted to meet up, but that feeling never surfaced.

Part of the coincidence was that I am so used to going to movies by myself that I felt more confidant than usual (I am actually more calm rather than my hyper self).

Of course, this would be the night that I run into someone from my past. It was
good to see each other because this was a person who earned my respect. It was a pleasant surprise to see someone I cared about doing well.

In that moment, I felt like a new person because of all the meant-to-be. It was a very sweet moment that reminded me of all the good things ahead.

Life is indeed wonderful, and I am so moved by the beauty that comes into my life each and every day. I just hope I am smart enough to figure it out and cherish it with care and grace.

hanging up dancing shoes?

Was trying to go out dancing and even found 4 parties to go to tonight.
Of course, all 4 women I invited couldn't go for some reason.

Ended up at a fundraiser
function at a bar to meet up a friend. Wow, this is the pickup scene
huh? I don't mind being nice and talking, but the judgment gets old. Don't need people to tell me who I am.

Still, it's good to do something different. I probably don't want to date these men (those buttons looked uncomfortably tight), but it's good practice.

This is going to be the experiment year. Date people I normally would not come in contact with and do something different just to try it out. Can I change dramatically once again?!

attack

I am so used to people attacking my choices in life because I don't always pick the most popular or the most logical choice.

I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.

Oh well.

Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.

Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.

Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.

I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.

No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.

not a yes woman

Recommended to the board to not seek back rent but rather just move forward with the land exchange deal and end the sporadic encroachment problem.

My recommendations were not even acknowledged.

Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.

Note to self to keep applying for jobs.

It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.

At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.

oh my head hurts

Been given a new assignment at work, and it's just so silly. Our company the landlord never signed a contract with the tenant. The tenant pays rent every month. Now board member claims that the tenant owes rent for using land outside of the agreed upon area.

There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.

Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.

in that instant

The two people who I am crazily in love with are my parents. Yes, it's a bit odd, but I always feel better when I am around them.

Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.

Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.

I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.