ride

i am crazy about the snow, but growing up, i would never have guessed that i would be skiing and boarding

was and probably still is quite uncoordinated

but there is something about carving on powder and being in nature

got into the sport for social reasons, but now this is something just for me

took another lesson today. my first female instructor in 11 years. she is in her early 20s, ready to go to grad school

the best thing about taking advanced boarding lesson is that so few people do that i often get a private

very cool. two chicks carving blacks. she got me to tackle some baby moguls too

yeah. life is pretty good right now

hahaha

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/Careers/10/20/cb.cushy.jobs/index.html

I could be a motivational speaker. :)

checking out the competition

I stopped dating off of match, but it's still entertaining. I suppose it helps to narrow people by interest or values, but who isn't nice and together on these one-pagers? At the same time, it's great for first impressions. I think it should just be head shots only, so we can just trust our gut reaction.

I like match in reading what the other women have to say. The modern version of "come and get me". Saw the profile of one woman that I just could not stand. She is the friend of a friend. Don't know what it is, I had a genuine dislike for her. Yes, I actually can dislike someone, and I am quite curious about her b/c of my strong negative reaction towards her.

Reading her profile today, my reaction changed. Despite her father's subsidy of her lifestyle, she is just like everyone else and has to put up a profile to be asked out. I guess wanting to find the right guy is something I have in common with her. We're just going about it differently. I don't need someone who shares my passions, since I am fine doing those things on my own.

I am looking for someone who is on the same wavelength. Perhaps due to work, I do care a lot about my career and don't want someone to be in the way of that pursuit. In fact, people who work a lot are going to get bonus points in my book. They can slave away at the office while I take over the world (or just jet off to the next vacation)...

investigation

A co-worker was fired Friday while I was on vacation. Hum. I wasn't very close to him, but my curiosity got me to ask around.

Definitely politics more than anything. Am uncomfortable that a senior manager at a sister company wants me to help. They were friends. Why get involved when it is the will of the board/management to fire someone? Maybe this is meant to be?

What was incredulous was that the senior manager wasn't willing to stick her neck out but asked me to talk to the board! I started to investigate and realized that the person simply didn't meet the standard of his supervisor.

Welcome to the corporate world.

what we cannot control

Had a great weekend, thanks to good company. No, it wasn't a romantic trip, but hanging out with people who are willing to ski in nonstop rain and snow was quite a bonding experience.

The crazy weather was a reminder that there are so many things we cannot control. There is always our attitude and being grateful.

better to be a woman

Went to see a few movies by myself during the film festival that is in town. Going stag has its benefits: there is always a good seat, and I can focus on the movie. Even the usher recognized me (very few people watch movies by themselves?)...

Last night, I happen to sit between 3 men, except they were all going stag too. It was funny b/c they all left a seat b/t themselves and the next guy. Is that how it is at men's bathrooms? Good for me, since I got one of the best seats in the house.

My friend C would say this is a good time to pick up. It was good practice, to talk to people in line and around my seat. Still, I kept to myself and my magazine. Just not up to picking people up randomly. Maybe this weekend if I sit next to someone interesting?

rules

What's up with this guy who got my number and actually calls? You are not suppose to call. It's all courtesy. You know, to make the woman feel good and say goodbye before you proceed to get the numbers of the rest of the women in the room.

Even he admits that he is breaking the five day rule: get the number Sat and wait at least until Thurs to call. He called Tuesday night!


We do have a first date, so let's wait and see.

girl power

Over the weekend, my little cousin corrected me when I mentioned for all the "girls" to take a picture. This eight-year-old announced that we (the older cousins) are women, not girls.

It was a touching moment. The spunky spirit of the family has just been passed down.

Lately, despite the ups and downs in every other area of my life, many, many women have been there for me. As much as we talk about needing a man, there is a reason why statistically, female companionship is the number one indicator of a woman's happiness.

More than ever, it is these women, most of them single, that are seeing me through my highs and lows.

So even though my Prince Charming must be at some finishing school, I am all right with some love from the ladies.

changing and accepting

Feeling so content. More than ever, I am taking the time to listen to my intuition. Yes, it's nothing new for me to follow my gut, but never have I been so aware of its inevitable truth. By asking myself what is meant to be before an event, I am more aware of the true meaning behind ordinary moments.

Take tonight. I was suppose to meet up with a girlfriend and her friend at the film festival. Then, my friend called to say that she couldn't get tickets in time. It was going to be me and her friend. Given that we have never met, we ended up not meeting.

I was also planning to meet up with a blind date from CL but decided against it. Something about the pushy e-mails made me not pursue it. I even programmed his phone number in case I wanted to meet up, but that feeling never surfaced.

Part of the coincidence was that I am so used to going to movies by myself that I felt more confidant than usual (I am actually more calm rather than my hyper self).

Of course, this would be the night that I run into someone from my past. It was
good to see each other because this was a person who earned my respect. It was a pleasant surprise to see someone I cared about doing well.

In that moment, I felt like a new person because of all the meant-to-be. It was a very sweet moment that reminded me of all the good things ahead.

Life is indeed wonderful, and I am so moved by the beauty that comes into my life each and every day. I just hope I am smart enough to figure it out and cherish it with care and grace.

hanging up dancing shoes?

Was trying to go out dancing and even found 4 parties to go to tonight.
Of course, all 4 women I invited couldn't go for some reason.

Ended up at a fundraiser
function at a bar to meet up a friend. Wow, this is the pickup scene
huh? I don't mind being nice and talking, but the judgment gets old. Don't need people to tell me who I am.

Still, it's good to do something different. I probably don't want to date these men (those buttons looked uncomfortably tight), but it's good practice.

This is going to be the experiment year. Date people I normally would not come in contact with and do something different just to try it out. Can I change dramatically once again?!

attack

I am so used to people attacking my choices in life because I don't always pick the most popular or the most logical choice.

I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.

Oh well.

Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.

Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.

Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.

I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.

No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.

not a yes woman

Recommended to the board to not seek back rent but rather just move forward with the land exchange deal and end the sporadic encroachment problem.

My recommendations were not even acknowledged.

Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.

Note to self to keep applying for jobs.

It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.

At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.

oh my head hurts

Been given a new assignment at work, and it's just so silly. Our company the landlord never signed a contract with the tenant. The tenant pays rent every month. Now board member claims that the tenant owes rent for using land outside of the agreed upon area.

There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.

Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.

in that instant

The two people who I am crazily in love with are my parents. Yes, it's a bit odd, but I always feel better when I am around them.

Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.

Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.

I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.

working women

Called my friend A after a 12-hour day. Monthly community meeting tonight. Turns out that she was still at work at 930pm.

As a reward, she is having coffee with her platonic friend/admirer at 11. Too bad she is not interested b/c I'm sure he is. A, you playah!

A and I talked about the state of those of us women who are independent and hard-working. We are not interested in 99% of the men we come across. Then 99% of that 1% we appreciate is married. That means...

...partly why so many of us are single. Hate to generalize, but I do know many, many more stellar single women than stellar single men.

I just have to gripe. I blame it on the mothers. If the mother has her own issues, then the result tend to be an unhealthy relationship with the son. Those of us who date the sons who don't respect women enough know the symptoms: the men are either needy or selfish.

Thank goodness for single girlfriends. Now that I have a harem of female friends, I can better handle this crazy life of a single working woman. Yes, still looking for my man, but only if he is worthy to meet all the chicas...

read between the lines

From: General Manager
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:31 PM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Please call xxxxx

xxxxx,

It is not up to you to make announcements or pronouncements or redirect consultants, I am still the General Manager! While I concur that xxxxx is taking the lead on the RFP process, that process is a relatively narrow area of the settlement with xxxxx and I cannot agree with you on your assessment of original direction since I take my lead from the Chairman. So you will take direction from me on these issues and further I will be involved in all aspects of this effort.

be the man

One thing that I don't do any more is ask the guy out. After this last guy, I am spoiled. He always call, pick me up, and take me out. It was fun to meet someone who lives in the City for a change. I appreciate the experience, especially his good company.

More than ever, I am ready to settle down. Just have to wait for the right man. PJ said that I set my standards too high, but there is a reason that they call it settling. I am asking for a lot, but I have dated enough to know that it's not unrealistic.

The rest of my life goes on. Work is so intense right now it's crazy, but I am ready to ask for another raise and stepping up the networking. Like anything else, no point in complaining. Just have to get the work done. Happy right now because life is so harmonious and balanced.

dare

Rather than trying to go to Tahoe all by myself, I decided to do something daring and find a random person to go with on craigslist. I was open to gender and age.

There was an ad m4w looking for someone to carpool last weekend. I replied in part because that the person posted in the strictly platonic section. With a good feeling about the ad, I replied and sent in my picture.

After a few short e-mails, the guy and I agreed to meet at a Safeway parking lot near my place and take a day trip to Tahoe. Up until the in-person meeting, I didn't know what the person looked like.

Everything worked out, and I had a blast. Got to the blacks and found a kindred spirit. Even made it back Saturday night in time to join my future sister-in-law for her bachelorette party where we danced until wee hours.

The most interesting thing about the experience was everyone else's reaction. There was a lot of worrying and even some self-defense advice Friday. One friend even told that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done.

Yes, there were reasons to be alarmed, but I felt that I did what I could to hedge my risks. Day-trip snowboarders and skiiers have to be dedicated enough to make those trips. Plus, my e-mail exchanges with the person reassured me.

I truly believe in fate, and if it's in my cards to get hurt, then so be it. I have never had a failure because everything is meant to be. Still, I will never do this again because snow sports is to be shared with loved ones.

It was a strange weekend because for the first time, I found a reason to have kids. I want to share my world with my next in kin and to raise kids to express my values.

Don't know if it'll ever happen, but I dare to find out.

familiar territory

Once again, I have the welcoming dilemma of deciding whether to hit Tahoe by myself.

The determination to hit the slopes is due to an upcoming snowboarding trip to Denver. Need some polishing up to join some advance skiiers. Plus, I've got extra discount tickets from 3 weekends ago.

The last time I took a snowboarding trip to Tahoe by myself, I mastered the blacks. Time to get that feeling back, with or without board buddies.

Life is good. There is nothing like this knowing feeling of getting to where I need to go, alone or in good company.

the art of dating

It's no wonder that the men are intimidated. My friend A confided that she can't seem to meet anyone who is good enough. Financially independent, stylish, and the best female boarder and the best climber that I know. And, she can party.

Yet despite being perfect, she still has to play by the dating rules. Maybe that's why I like dating. It helps to have all these qualifications, but unlike a job, the role of the woman is still to make men desire her.

Some people just need to be impressed to commit, especially women. From my experience though, in order to really know someone, you still have to create that magic where the other person cannot get enough of you.

I am not advocating playing dumb or not to be oneself, but it's key to create enough opportunities for the guy to reveal his true self. I find it amazing that most of us don't even realize that we have several selves and rarely reveal our true selves.

Only by getting a glimpse of a person's core self can you know that the relationship is going to work.

Back to A. We concluded that she just need to focus on creating those opportunities. In the mean time, it's trying to keep track of this crazy girl who just came back from Whistler and is off to climb in Spain next month...