What gives me the most joy in life is perfect balance. Reaching that state of near perfection is why this is the best year yet.
There is not one thing or one person in my life that means everything, except my sense of self.
By adding my health, my work, my family, my friends and all the things that I do for fun, my life is complete.
At the same time, if any one thing goes wrong, I have all the other parts to remind me that sometimes life goes up and then it comes down. It is all part of the rhythm of life.
The best part is that getting older means lots of practice to achieve balance. I finally have the experience to appreciate my reality.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
this is how
How do I meet so many people?
Being outgoing helps, but following through is the key. Whenever I meet a cool person, I try to spend some time one-on-one with that person to get to know them.
Last Saturday night, I met a girl who was very together. You know, the type that is kind of serious at first but funny once you get to know her. She asked if I would join a dragon boat team for a race in late September.
At first, I fully rejected the idea but offered to invite other women for her. As the week wore on, I realized that this is a chance to get to know her and her group of friends better. Besides, the time committment is minimal, 2 hours for 3 weekends and then the morning of the race.
As life settles into a routine, it takes more effort to do something different. Life does present plenty of opportunity at every turn. It's up to us to say why not.
Being outgoing helps, but following through is the key. Whenever I meet a cool person, I try to spend some time one-on-one with that person to get to know them.
Last Saturday night, I met a girl who was very together. You know, the type that is kind of serious at first but funny once you get to know her. She asked if I would join a dragon boat team for a race in late September.
At first, I fully rejected the idea but offered to invite other women for her. As the week wore on, I realized that this is a chance to get to know her and her group of friends better. Besides, the time committment is minimal, 2 hours for 3 weekends and then the morning of the race.
As life settles into a routine, it takes more effort to do something different. Life does present plenty of opportunity at every turn. It's up to us to say why not.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
finding the one, part 2
Just as my right brain contradicts with my left brain, my other theory on finding the right partner is all about the head and not the heart.
It has to do with our history.
More and more, I am convinced that respecting our identiy from our family history is key to happiness. Just as learning about our genetics can improve our health, understanding the family tree can lead to the one.
According to one of my favorite books, A General Theory of Love (Lewis, Amini and Lannon), we often end up with people who are similar to the parent that we don't get along with because we are trying to resolve some unfinished business. Of course, those relationships are never completely fulfilling just as we rarely come to terms with one or both parents.
Perhaps finding the one is all about checklists, but not for our partners, but for ourselves. If I know that my social life is very important to me, how will someone compliment that nonstop schedule. The conclusion: this is not the right time to have someone in my life!
In the end, Part 1 and 2 are the same. It is all about looking inward and knowing who we are at the core and how to surround ourselves with the people who allow us to grow. The trick is to assess those people with our intuititon and not our feelings or other people's opinions.
It has to do with our history.
More and more, I am convinced that respecting our identiy from our family history is key to happiness. Just as learning about our genetics can improve our health, understanding the family tree can lead to the one.
According to one of my favorite books, A General Theory of Love (Lewis, Amini and Lannon), we often end up with people who are similar to the parent that we don't get along with because we are trying to resolve some unfinished business. Of course, those relationships are never completely fulfilling just as we rarely come to terms with one or both parents.
Perhaps finding the one is all about checklists, but not for our partners, but for ourselves. If I know that my social life is very important to me, how will someone compliment that nonstop schedule. The conclusion: this is not the right time to have someone in my life!
In the end, Part 1 and 2 are the same. It is all about looking inward and knowing who we are at the core and how to surround ourselves with the people who allow us to grow. The trick is to assess those people with our intuititon and not our feelings or other people's opinions.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
finding the one, part 1
Some people carry around their checklist or some loose preferences for the person they want to end up with. Fortunatley, these lists are constantly edited, so there are usually some accuracy in the lists.
I offer a simpler method for finding the one: be your own best company.
Spend an entire Sunday afternoon by yourself (phone calls allowed). Take up a simple activity that you have always enjoyed but wish for more of. Being outdoors? Reading? Surfing (web or on water!)? Shopping? The only two requirements are that 1. you must not have company and 2. you are actively engaged with yourself. You must be able to ask yourself at any given point what/when/where/how. It can even be work, excep this should be a peripheral project.
For instance, I went to a condo project site today to take some photos. Our overseas animation creators did not accurately depict the surrounding waterfront property. I had to decide what, when, where, and how to take the pictures. The pace was perfect, and I cannot complain about being on a state park on a Sunday afternoon.
At the end of the project, there is a certain satisfaction of accomplishment. More importantly, I achieved a state of ease. I am lucky to have often arrived at this point, and more so as I have gotten older. It is almost zen-like not because of my accomplishment, but because of how I led myself through a conscious yet almost-effortless process.
The same should be said about being with the one. Being with the right person is all about being comfortable and being at ease but with a sense of purpose.
It appears that many people confuse lust with this sense of well being. I myself made the mistake in the past in thinking that the right person is going to add excitement to my life. That is usually inevitable because of lust (how do you think the human species has endured?!).
One fallacy in using lust as a measurement of compatibility is that it does not last.
What does endure is compatibility through our mental engagement and some inexplicable ease that comes from the confidance of accomplishing something great.
Relationships are not easy, but it should not be frustrating. We should be with people who make us optimistic and joyful, especially if this person is to be our romantic partner, no matter for how long.
The reason that it is so hard for people to be in the right relationship with someone is because they have yet to relate to themselves completely. I have a long way to go despite my fortunate of being able to accept myself. Perhaps when I can completely let go of the attachment out of fear of not being loved, I will find my true love.
I offer a simpler method for finding the one: be your own best company.
Spend an entire Sunday afternoon by yourself (phone calls allowed). Take up a simple activity that you have always enjoyed but wish for more of. Being outdoors? Reading? Surfing (web or on water!)? Shopping? The only two requirements are that 1. you must not have company and 2. you are actively engaged with yourself. You must be able to ask yourself at any given point what/when/where/how. It can even be work, excep this should be a peripheral project.
For instance, I went to a condo project site today to take some photos. Our overseas animation creators did not accurately depict the surrounding waterfront property. I had to decide what, when, where, and how to take the pictures. The pace was perfect, and I cannot complain about being on a state park on a Sunday afternoon.
At the end of the project, there is a certain satisfaction of accomplishment. More importantly, I achieved a state of ease. I am lucky to have often arrived at this point, and more so as I have gotten older. It is almost zen-like not because of my accomplishment, but because of how I led myself through a conscious yet almost-effortless process.
The same should be said about being with the one. Being with the right person is all about being comfortable and being at ease but with a sense of purpose.
It appears that many people confuse lust with this sense of well being. I myself made the mistake in the past in thinking that the right person is going to add excitement to my life. That is usually inevitable because of lust (how do you think the human species has endured?!).
One fallacy in using lust as a measurement of compatibility is that it does not last.
What does endure is compatibility through our mental engagement and some inexplicable ease that comes from the confidance of accomplishing something great.
Relationships are not easy, but it should not be frustrating. We should be with people who make us optimistic and joyful, especially if this person is to be our romantic partner, no matter for how long.
The reason that it is so hard for people to be in the right relationship with someone is because they have yet to relate to themselves completely. I have a long way to go despite my fortunate of being able to accept myself. Perhaps when I can completely let go of the attachment out of fear of not being loved, I will find my true love.
tone of voice
Last night, I was relaxing and watching TV when a friend called to go drinking. I answered b/c I thought about going out. Somehow, the tone of the invitation (demanding) and the shows I was watching (recording one and surfing 4 others) made it seem better to just stay home.
I knew I made the right decision when I had to sound negative and very tired about staying home. If this person was a true friend, he wouldn't have given me such a hard time for staying in.
Then, an hour later, another friend texted about having a drink. It was completely different tone. The person started the message apologizing in case he woke me up. Timing. The shows were over, and I was just about to head to bed.
It turned out to be a great night.
I cannot help but notice tone more and more in my everyday life. It makes me almost want to record myself to make sure I am always my most charming self. Regardless of what the message is, I should always speak with care and grace.
It still amazes me how much I am changing ever since last December...
I knew I made the right decision when I had to sound negative and very tired about staying home. If this person was a true friend, he wouldn't have given me such a hard time for staying in.
Then, an hour later, another friend texted about having a drink. It was completely different tone. The person started the message apologizing in case he woke me up. Timing. The shows were over, and I was just about to head to bed.
It turned out to be a great night.
I cannot help but notice tone more and more in my everyday life. It makes me almost want to record myself to make sure I am always my most charming self. Regardless of what the message is, I should always speak with care and grace.
It still amazes me how much I am changing ever since last December...
Friday, August 11, 2006
have it your way
One of the most positive externality to dedicating more to work is the clarity it gives my personal life.
The realization that work will always be there (and thus I can only do my best but not stress over it) means that no decision in my personal life will be all that bad.
I just have to relax and enjoy the ride. Just like work is now play, my personal life is more fun than ever. It is all up to me, but I am willing to let kindred spirits lift mine.
This is, indeed, a wonderful Friday. Cheers.
The realization that work will always be there (and thus I can only do my best but not stress over it) means that no decision in my personal life will be all that bad.
I just have to relax and enjoy the ride. Just like work is now play, my personal life is more fun than ever. It is all up to me, but I am willing to let kindred spirits lift mine.
This is, indeed, a wonderful Friday. Cheers.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
be true to oneself
Envy is one emotion that I rarely experience, yet it is the one emotion that sells. By creating a desire for someone else's lifestyle, the market can open the consumers' wallet.
Advertisers try to influence consumer behavior by creating a desirable image. The group that seems the best target is the teens. What other group needs to belong so desparately and can use material goods to identify themselves.
That same desire to belong can also be seen in other areas for other demographic groups. Women hitting 30 often face social pressure to marry. Men have always been judged by their EP, earning potential.
After years of being told what to do by parents, peers, advertisers and the entertainment industry, is it any wonder that we even know who we are any more?
I tend not to want what other people have, since my creative outlet is being one of a kind in the way I dress. It does take more time and energy to buy things second-hand and to reject trends that are not me. It is also fun.
The same holds true for my lifestyle. By not identifying with one particular group, I have the freedom to be with whoever I want and whenever I want. Perhaps it is also a consequence of age. At this point, my value comes from just being myself all the time.
Of course, the number one rule to being true to oneself is to not have expectations (note that expectations are different from goals). Trying to get somewhere rather than to enjoy the journey is always a guarantee to disappointment.
Advertisers try to influence consumer behavior by creating a desirable image. The group that seems the best target is the teens. What other group needs to belong so desparately and can use material goods to identify themselves.
That same desire to belong can also be seen in other areas for other demographic groups. Women hitting 30 often face social pressure to marry. Men have always been judged by their EP, earning potential.
After years of being told what to do by parents, peers, advertisers and the entertainment industry, is it any wonder that we even know who we are any more?
I tend not to want what other people have, since my creative outlet is being one of a kind in the way I dress. It does take more time and energy to buy things second-hand and to reject trends that are not me. It is also fun.
The same holds true for my lifestyle. By not identifying with one particular group, I have the freedom to be with whoever I want and whenever I want. Perhaps it is also a consequence of age. At this point, my value comes from just being myself all the time.
Of course, the number one rule to being true to oneself is to not have expectations (note that expectations are different from goals). Trying to get somewhere rather than to enjoy the journey is always a guarantee to disappointment.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
monday again
It's Monday, and I am back to this thing called work.
Lately, work has been going well. Hard to believe that I not only overcame the stress of work but also embraced it completely.
I have three major roles at work:
1. in-house counsel - manage our on-going lawsuit with a neighbor for environmental contamination. Damages seeked: $100M
2. PR - represent the company in our current three development projects: condos, TOD (transit-oriented development) and retail/commercial.
3. operations manager - improve our day-to-day operations, from HR, to IT, to file management. Basically, do all the things that the other managers and the GM don't have time to do.
On occasion, I answer the phones.
It's a perfect fit. The fact that I practiced law makes it easy to read the endless pleadings. My stunt at the LA Redevelopment Agency makes the PR second nature. I also worked part-time as a personal assistant to a busy attorney while in law/grad school, so I know exactly what it takes to get things done. I was even a part-times receptionist during college.
Everything happens for a reason, and the more I embrace every situation, the more I am able to be in the moment and realize my destiny. Not sure where this is all leading to, but it feels perfect right now.
Lately, work has been going well. Hard to believe that I not only overcame the stress of work but also embraced it completely.
I have three major roles at work:
1. in-house counsel - manage our on-going lawsuit with a neighbor for environmental contamination. Damages seeked: $100M
2. PR - represent the company in our current three development projects: condos, TOD (transit-oriented development) and retail/commercial.
3. operations manager - improve our day-to-day operations, from HR, to IT, to file management. Basically, do all the things that the other managers and the GM don't have time to do.
On occasion, I answer the phones.
It's a perfect fit. The fact that I practiced law makes it easy to read the endless pleadings. My stunt at the LA Redevelopment Agency makes the PR second nature. I also worked part-time as a personal assistant to a busy attorney while in law/grad school, so I know exactly what it takes to get things done. I was even a part-times receptionist during college.
Everything happens for a reason, and the more I embrace every situation, the more I am able to be in the moment and realize my destiny. Not sure where this is all leading to, but it feels perfect right now.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
partnership
Lately, when I hear of an engagement, the topics that follow are usually the details of the wedding planning: all the troubles that you have to go through just to say "I do."
I was married once but skipped all the formalities by having a private affair for 12, 14 counting the 2 cousins who crashed last-minute. The simplicity was due to time constraints, but I still feel lucky for not having to survive an expensive, exhausting ordeal.
These costly productions that run in the high five-digits are not what I believe in any more. Today, I joked to my girlfriends that I plan to find a partner and not a husband.
One of my mother's best friends had a life partner for the entire time I knew her. Their partnership was to be admired, overcoming stepchildren, lived-in in-laws and diverse cultures. They only married when his terminal illness required that legality. To me, that story shows how society is still out of step with the reality of how people connect.
As much as I look forward to finding someone I can be with indefinitely, I never try to examine a romantic interest as whether that person can be the one. Dating is all about having fun, and the pressure of that person have to play a certain role in another's life kills the mood.
Perhaps we should all strive for a great partnership and let marriage take place as it is necessary. This way, we can take lots of fabulous vacations with our partners and enjoy the honeymoon period before we have to think about ceremony sites or cutting the guestlist.
I was married once but skipped all the formalities by having a private affair for 12, 14 counting the 2 cousins who crashed last-minute. The simplicity was due to time constraints, but I still feel lucky for not having to survive an expensive, exhausting ordeal.
These costly productions that run in the high five-digits are not what I believe in any more. Today, I joked to my girlfriends that I plan to find a partner and not a husband.
One of my mother's best friends had a life partner for the entire time I knew her. Their partnership was to be admired, overcoming stepchildren, lived-in in-laws and diverse cultures. They only married when his terminal illness required that legality. To me, that story shows how society is still out of step with the reality of how people connect.
As much as I look forward to finding someone I can be with indefinitely, I never try to examine a romantic interest as whether that person can be the one. Dating is all about having fun, and the pressure of that person have to play a certain role in another's life kills the mood.
Perhaps we should all strive for a great partnership and let marriage take place as it is necessary. This way, we can take lots of fabulous vacations with our partners and enjoy the honeymoon period before we have to think about ceremony sites or cutting the guestlist.
value
The chairman of my company is at the office for about one week each month. One of the brightest people, but also a workaholic. He has teenage kids, but he only sees them for one or two weeks at a time.
We had our usual check in this past Friday. He was telling me the story of how he worked for the richest man in Taiwan at one point, and that guy worked longer than the chairman himself.
It was a moment of disconnect. Even though I am finally enjoying what I am doing, I had an epiphany that I cannot stay with the company for more than two years. The chairman was trying to inspire me by telling me how much he values working.
Having been unemployed for two years is truly a blessing in disguise. I strive for the perfect balance of work, self and social worlds and know exactly what I have to do in each area. On the whole, I know I work harder on my spirituality than most people and need more than just one thing to be happy.
Although I love to work hard and is starting to see the rewards of my six months of hard work, I don't intend on giving up my life outside work. It is the fun and the knowledge in my personal life that give me the energy to work hard. It is the spirituality and the conneciton to others that give me the inspiration to do my best.
I have never been and will probably never be the richest or the most famous person, but for now, I am at my happiest.
We had our usual check in this past Friday. He was telling me the story of how he worked for the richest man in Taiwan at one point, and that guy worked longer than the chairman himself.
It was a moment of disconnect. Even though I am finally enjoying what I am doing, I had an epiphany that I cannot stay with the company for more than two years. The chairman was trying to inspire me by telling me how much he values working.
Having been unemployed for two years is truly a blessing in disguise. I strive for the perfect balance of work, self and social worlds and know exactly what I have to do in each area. On the whole, I know I work harder on my spirituality than most people and need more than just one thing to be happy.
Although I love to work hard and is starting to see the rewards of my six months of hard work, I don't intend on giving up my life outside work. It is the fun and the knowledge in my personal life that give me the energy to work hard. It is the spirituality and the conneciton to others that give me the inspiration to do my best.
I have never been and will probably never be the richest or the most famous person, but for now, I am at my happiest.
Friday, August 04, 2006
recipes
Last weekend's outting with my visitors deserves a record.
Fri evening: happy hour at Hayes Valley. Got a ride to and from a friend, since it's hard to park around there. New tip: plenty of street parking on Gough farther north, around lower Pac Heights. Less density around Gough/Geary.
Fri night: decided to cook at home. Try not to eat out in SF on Fri and Sat nights. Between the high cost of labor and the eat-out culture, there is always a wait (even with reservations), and the service is dismal. I made dinner in 30 minutes, and it was relaxing. The secret is to have one or two ingredients that people don't usually have. Menu was unagi (the frozen kind that you just microwave), rice, and salad complete with fresh dressing (balsamic vinegar, olive oil AND honey).
Fri night: cab to and from club. No point driving and parking if the club is a mile away. Tip: always say hi to the promotor. If he recognizes you, your entire party of four (better if all women) might get comped.
Sat: Take the bus to Chinatown. A must b/c there is something going on in this town that always plugs up Embarcadero. Funny that we usually give ourselves plenty of time when taking public transportation but end up rushing if driving.
Walk to Northbeach for lunch - reservations a must when hitting tourist attractions. Walk off lunch by shopping at Chinatown. Head to Northbeach Jazz Festival - FREE! Take bus back down to Meteron. Go to top floor to check out best view of MOMA and downtown skyline (it's the sunniest view). Cross and go to St. Regis to lounge out at the public space. It's a shame that they hid the public space, so you have to take the elevator to get to. Rare to be in downtown and out on a "private" deck.
Proceed to bus home. Tip: at the end of the day, pick the bus line that is the most frequent rather than the closest one. Walking that extra 5 minutes is better than waiting that extra 20 minutes.
Sat night: More home cooking after a quick trip to Korean market. See rule above. We had miso soup with enoki mushrooms, steamed fish, chives with chicken, store-prepared clear noodles, and wine. Cost of dinner given that I already had the wine and chicken: $8 for 3 people. It's silly math: it is always cheaper for me to feed 3-4 people than to eat out for 1. Being generous always make sense.
Regardless of what we did, it was all about the company. Feel lucky b/c I always have good people in my life to inspire the fun.
Fri evening: happy hour at Hayes Valley. Got a ride to and from a friend, since it's hard to park around there. New tip: plenty of street parking on Gough farther north, around lower Pac Heights. Less density around Gough/Geary.
Fri night: decided to cook at home. Try not to eat out in SF on Fri and Sat nights. Between the high cost of labor and the eat-out culture, there is always a wait (even with reservations), and the service is dismal. I made dinner in 30 minutes, and it was relaxing. The secret is to have one or two ingredients that people don't usually have. Menu was unagi (the frozen kind that you just microwave), rice, and salad complete with fresh dressing (balsamic vinegar, olive oil AND honey).
Fri night: cab to and from club. No point driving and parking if the club is a mile away. Tip: always say hi to the promotor. If he recognizes you, your entire party of four (better if all women) might get comped.
Sat: Take the bus to Chinatown. A must b/c there is something going on in this town that always plugs up Embarcadero. Funny that we usually give ourselves plenty of time when taking public transportation but end up rushing if driving.
Walk to Northbeach for lunch - reservations a must when hitting tourist attractions. Walk off lunch by shopping at Chinatown. Head to Northbeach Jazz Festival - FREE! Take bus back down to Meteron. Go to top floor to check out best view of MOMA and downtown skyline (it's the sunniest view). Cross and go to St. Regis to lounge out at the public space. It's a shame that they hid the public space, so you have to take the elevator to get to. Rare to be in downtown and out on a "private" deck.
Proceed to bus home. Tip: at the end of the day, pick the bus line that is the most frequent rather than the closest one. Walking that extra 5 minutes is better than waiting that extra 20 minutes.
Sat night: More home cooking after a quick trip to Korean market. See rule above. We had miso soup with enoki mushrooms, steamed fish, chives with chicken, store-prepared clear noodles, and wine. Cost of dinner given that I already had the wine and chicken: $8 for 3 people. It's silly math: it is always cheaper for me to feed 3-4 people than to eat out for 1. Being generous always make sense.
Regardless of what we did, it was all about the company. Feel lucky b/c I always have good people in my life to inspire the fun.
and the winner is...
No, my company has yet to pick the winning environmental attorneys for our major project. It's the final round of interviews.
Today, we interviewed Team #1 which was led by the attorney I have a crush on. I happen to sit across from him again, and what a sight!
When he spoke, I cannot help but admire his complete honesty and passion about his work. It's so refreshing to meet someone who absolutely believes in his work and moves me with his pride and knowledge.
Of course, at the same time, I am noticing that he has these stubbles on the side of his face that is just inviting me to run my hands over the face. Deadly combination. Good thing I reminded myself that someone else has that honor now.
A friend asked me over the weekend what I am looking for in a guy. The list changes over time. One characteristic that has not changed is that I am attracted to people who I want to emulate. This attorney has the career that I never had. He is at the top of his game and relish in every moment. I want not only be my best but also possess that power to move others. To win at work is not to wait for superiors' approval or to get the desired result. The prize is the ability to always do the right thing b/c my gut tells me so. This week has been so fun at work because everything I am doing feels absolutely right. Getting the result is just the wink that I am on the right track.
Today, we interviewed Team #1 which was led by the attorney I have a crush on. I happen to sit across from him again, and what a sight!
When he spoke, I cannot help but admire his complete honesty and passion about his work. It's so refreshing to meet someone who absolutely believes in his work and moves me with his pride and knowledge.
Of course, at the same time, I am noticing that he has these stubbles on the side of his face that is just inviting me to run my hands over the face. Deadly combination. Good thing I reminded myself that someone else has that honor now.
A friend asked me over the weekend what I am looking for in a guy. The list changes over time. One characteristic that has not changed is that I am attracted to people who I want to emulate. This attorney has the career that I never had. He is at the top of his game and relish in every moment. I want not only be my best but also possess that power to move others. To win at work is not to wait for superiors' approval or to get the desired result. The prize is the ability to always do the right thing b/c my gut tells me so. This week has been so fun at work because everything I am doing feels absolutely right. Getting the result is just the wink that I am on the right track.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
luck
Given that gratitude is the only scientifically-proven link to happiness, let me take a moment to thank my lucky stars.
All my life, I have been able to find kindred spirit, and that has made all the difference in my optimism.
The commonality among all the positive influences is that these special people tend not to stay long in my life.
For instance, even though I am incredibly close to my parents and siblings, they are not always around. My parents split their time b/t the US and abroad. My sister is currently living in another state, and my brother is usually buried in his research or spending time with his financee.
Still, that sense of being loved never goes away even when I am alone.
Same with friends and lovers. They are only meant to be in my life for a few moments at a time. I know better now than to expect life-long connections.
This sense that I will always be on my own has been innate since I was 6. Now that I can fully understand it I can fully realize my destiny. I am not here to find the one or to belong to groups. I shall use my time alone to be my best.
All my life, I have been able to find kindred spirit, and that has made all the difference in my optimism.
The commonality among all the positive influences is that these special people tend not to stay long in my life.
For instance, even though I am incredibly close to my parents and siblings, they are not always around. My parents split their time b/t the US and abroad. My sister is currently living in another state, and my brother is usually buried in his research or spending time with his financee.
Still, that sense of being loved never goes away even when I am alone.
Same with friends and lovers. They are only meant to be in my life for a few moments at a time. I know better now than to expect life-long connections.
This sense that I will always be on my own has been innate since I was 6. Now that I can fully understand it I can fully realize my destiny. I am not here to find the one or to belong to groups. I shall use my time alone to be my best.
work it
After six months, I am finally settled into work. It was the first time in six months that I am not physically stressed out about work. Instead, my life outside work is back to normal. I am having fun again.
I do think about work a lot, while I am working. Every issue is a problem that I am solving to gain experience for future challenges. Yes, it's also a means to an end, and I get paid enough to live in SF.
At the same time, I want to conserve energy and not sweat the small stuff. As much as I am dedicated to my career, I also know that my health and my spirituality come first. As long as I have my priorities straight, everything will work themselves out.
There is also the constant learning. Today, I was trying to schedule the final interview for environmental attorneys, and I made the mistake of scheduling the team for the wrong date. At first, I was very upset about doing something wrong, but then I had to laugh at the fact that I would make a terrible secretary.
One of the reasons that work is going better and better is because I have to do some grunt work, and I don't mind it. I have had about 25 jobs since college. In law school, I even worked as a part-time assistant for an attorney. All that work experience means that I never take it for granted. Anyone who complains about work needs to be unemployed for more than six months. Check that off my life experience list as well.
The biggest difference between today and six months ago is my expectations. I no longer dream of anything because I have that in my personal life. Work is about learning and growing and getting better at it every day.
I do think about work a lot, while I am working. Every issue is a problem that I am solving to gain experience for future challenges. Yes, it's also a means to an end, and I get paid enough to live in SF.
At the same time, I want to conserve energy and not sweat the small stuff. As much as I am dedicated to my career, I also know that my health and my spirituality come first. As long as I have my priorities straight, everything will work themselves out.
There is also the constant learning. Today, I was trying to schedule the final interview for environmental attorneys, and I made the mistake of scheduling the team for the wrong date. At first, I was very upset about doing something wrong, but then I had to laugh at the fact that I would make a terrible secretary.
One of the reasons that work is going better and better is because I have to do some grunt work, and I don't mind it. I have had about 25 jobs since college. In law school, I even worked as a part-time assistant for an attorney. All that work experience means that I never take it for granted. Anyone who complains about work needs to be unemployed for more than six months. Check that off my life experience list as well.
The biggest difference between today and six months ago is my expectations. I no longer dream of anything because I have that in my personal life. Work is about learning and growing and getting better at it every day.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
boring
The Chinese word for boredom is sometimes used to admonish people who have so much time on their hands that they act perverse. For example, the victim of a practicle joke will yell to the prankster "are you bored?!"
More and more, I grow aware of such unslightly behavior, and the root is boredom. For instance, today, I had a random stalker for my walk to and from the grocery store two blocks away. I believe that the person is just some observer of the SF Marathon and maybe tagged along out of boredom. A fellow shopper who I walked past on the way to the store actually approached me in the vegetable section and warned me about the stalker and described his outfit to me.
On the way home, I spotted that person across the street. I decided to follow him and crossed the street to be behind him. He reacted surprised by almost stopping completely but then decided to walk down the street. I turned onto my street but suspected that he would turn around to follow. I then turned around in the middle of my block.
Sure enough, the guy had turned in as well and was walking toward me. Knew it. I then set down my groceries at the side of the street and pulled out my phone as if to call. I took my time to get his physical description. Hopefully, I never have to use that information!
The fortunate thing was that he appeared embarrassed, and he walked without looking back. I was able to get home safely.
This is not the first time that I had been followed, but this is the first time that I felt completely calm. I cannot control others but I can always manage situations.
The incident brought full circle to the question of how do people improve themselves. Besides constantly learning, there has to be enough constructive activity for a person that prevents the mind from straying.
Unfortunatley, much of the population, including myself, has tried to solve the boredom issue with solutions that only compound the problem. For example, I used to enjoy shopping, especially bargain shopping. It was entertainment but not a real solution to boredom. Now that I have cut out shopping as a leisure activity (and only buy based on need), my life has improved.
Next will be more activities that not only combat boredom but bring real meaning to my life and the lives of others. Stayed tuned...
More and more, I grow aware of such unslightly behavior, and the root is boredom. For instance, today, I had a random stalker for my walk to and from the grocery store two blocks away. I believe that the person is just some observer of the SF Marathon and maybe tagged along out of boredom. A fellow shopper who I walked past on the way to the store actually approached me in the vegetable section and warned me about the stalker and described his outfit to me.
On the way home, I spotted that person across the street. I decided to follow him and crossed the street to be behind him. He reacted surprised by almost stopping completely but then decided to walk down the street. I turned onto my street but suspected that he would turn around to follow. I then turned around in the middle of my block.
Sure enough, the guy had turned in as well and was walking toward me. Knew it. I then set down my groceries at the side of the street and pulled out my phone as if to call. I took my time to get his physical description. Hopefully, I never have to use that information!
The fortunate thing was that he appeared embarrassed, and he walked without looking back. I was able to get home safely.
This is not the first time that I had been followed, but this is the first time that I felt completely calm. I cannot control others but I can always manage situations.
The incident brought full circle to the question of how do people improve themselves. Besides constantly learning, there has to be enough constructive activity for a person that prevents the mind from straying.
Unfortunatley, much of the population, including myself, has tried to solve the boredom issue with solutions that only compound the problem. For example, I used to enjoy shopping, especially bargain shopping. It was entertainment but not a real solution to boredom. Now that I have cut out shopping as a leisure activity (and only buy based on need), my life has improved.
Next will be more activities that not only combat boredom but bring real meaning to my life and the lives of others. Stayed tuned...
don't compare
I try not to compare people but being subjected to unpleasant company makes me miss those good moments with great company.
signs of old age
Last night, went out with three girlfriends to dance. It was a younger crowd, so we danced in peace. Met up with another group of friends, but it was all crazy dancing.
Tonight, we hit another party, but it was an older crowd. I had the misfortune of running into four different guys that were friends of friends. Repeatedly the guys tried to come up to talk to me while our group was dancing.
Nothing ages a person faster than desperation. When we first left the party I felt frustrated by the unwelcome attention, then after some thought, I see how these men were just tired of being alone.
The worst thing for someone who feels lonely is to go to a club and feel trapped by his inhibition. Personally, I go clubbing to celebrate with my friends. Nothing projects joy more than freely dancing. If you are looking to meet someone at a party, then get their number and leave them alone! My agenda is to have fun and not to engage in a Q&A session.
Very grateful that I have the company of friends who danced with me all night long! Here's to kindred spirits.
Tonight, we hit another party, but it was an older crowd. I had the misfortune of running into four different guys that were friends of friends. Repeatedly the guys tried to come up to talk to me while our group was dancing.
Nothing ages a person faster than desperation. When we first left the party I felt frustrated by the unwelcome attention, then after some thought, I see how these men were just tired of being alone.
The worst thing for someone who feels lonely is to go to a club and feel trapped by his inhibition. Personally, I go clubbing to celebrate with my friends. Nothing projects joy more than freely dancing. If you are looking to meet someone at a party, then get their number and leave them alone! My agenda is to have fun and not to engage in a Q&A session.
Very grateful that I have the company of friends who danced with me all night long! Here's to kindred spirits.
Friday, July 28, 2006
crush
Our company is interviewing an attorney who is partner at a big firm.
Well, my initial impression when we invited him in for the first interview was so-so. Then, during that one hour, he impressed me enough to wonder if he was single. This guy is not only smart, he is a gentleman. Having practiced, let me tell you that it's rare to meet a nice litigator. His only flaw was that he also looked too young; our attorney was shocked that this guy has been praticing for 14 years.
There was a part of me that hoped we would reject him, so I can ask him out. He made the first cut.
Today, we brought him back for a small side project. At the start of our meeting, three of us were just chatting while waiting for our regular attorney. I suggested that our attorney was late because he was probably pulled over reading his Blackberry. He confessed that he too was addicted to his, but they have a house rule to not check it before 7.
My heart sank. That's "we" as in him and his SO.
It didn't help that the rest of the 2-hour meeting, this guy was brilliant. It's been a long while since I have been swept up by intellect, and the great brain is dosed with a great sense of humor and encased in a great-looking head and body...
His SO is a lucky woman/man (hey, you never know).
Well, my initial impression when we invited him in for the first interview was so-so. Then, during that one hour, he impressed me enough to wonder if he was single. This guy is not only smart, he is a gentleman. Having practiced, let me tell you that it's rare to meet a nice litigator. His only flaw was that he also looked too young; our attorney was shocked that this guy has been praticing for 14 years.
There was a part of me that hoped we would reject him, so I can ask him out. He made the first cut.
Today, we brought him back for a small side project. At the start of our meeting, three of us were just chatting while waiting for our regular attorney. I suggested that our attorney was late because he was probably pulled over reading his Blackberry. He confessed that he too was addicted to his, but they have a house rule to not check it before 7.
My heart sank. That's "we" as in him and his SO.
It didn't help that the rest of the 2-hour meeting, this guy was brilliant. It's been a long while since I have been swept up by intellect, and the great brain is dosed with a great sense of humor and encased in a great-looking head and body...
His SO is a lucky woman/man (hey, you never know).
confidance
Last night, a girlfriend and I went to happy hour. It was an alumni event for a business school, but for some reason, it was quite empty. It was a good chance to observe the few attendees.
Later in the event, two women stoped by. Both beautiful and very well put together. My friend commented that they appeared to be trying to hard. How? It was hard to pinpoint, but I agreed.
They both had outfits that didn't look quite appropriate for work. Either they work in retail, or someone changed just for the occassion. Then, there was the makeup. I was sitting across the room, and both their eyes and lips were just a bit too vivid.
Still, who can fault these women for looking their best, but when everyone else is coming straight from work, they did stand out.
In the end, nothing flatters like confidance, and no outfit or assessory is as winning as a big smile.
Later in the event, two women stoped by. Both beautiful and very well put together. My friend commented that they appeared to be trying to hard. How? It was hard to pinpoint, but I agreed.
They both had outfits that didn't look quite appropriate for work. Either they work in retail, or someone changed just for the occassion. Then, there was the makeup. I was sitting across the room, and both their eyes and lips were just a bit too vivid.
Still, who can fault these women for looking their best, but when everyone else is coming straight from work, they did stand out.
In the end, nothing flatters like confidance, and no outfit or assessory is as winning as a big smile.
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