meditation

After being inspired by Eat, Pray, Love, I decided that it was time to start meditating.

Meditation has been proven scientifically to lower brain activity, and that state of calm has tremendous health benefits. There is so much we don't know about the links between body, mind and spirit.

It wasn't as hard as Elizabeth Gilbert described b/c yoga often talked about focusing on the breath to free the mind. I just sat and focused on my breath and observed my thoughts without reacting to it. Will try to meditate daily.

Still, the initial reaction was that my mind felt more scattered the day after. It was a reminder that I have been so intent to focusing that I lose sight of the need to relax. Ironic!

I do feel a sense of well being lately. I have been listening more to my body and my intuition. Things have become much easier in the last few months.

Next is the focus on how to ground myself and be caring without draining myself (a family trait)! Now I know why I had to stay single the last four years because I still need to learn how to balance giving and taking and being.

Namaste.

the system

A colleague e-mailed me about getting laid off from his job. He was a co-worker at my last work place who decided to take a big risk after just five months at our former company. He left to work for an independently wealthy investor on a Hawaii project. After a month, he is unemployed.

Now he is scrambling to find something else, including consulting for my old company. Rather than making a personal call or take his old boss to lunch, he wrote an e-mail and received a short but firm rejection.

By leaving after a short period, he definitely burned some bridges. The worst part was that he often looked down at the others. I firmly believe that people can detect elitism faster than they can smell fear. If you think you are better, people's guards will be up.

Sometimes it's a curse to be smart and achieve at a young age. It sets up for very high expectations that makes life that much more dissatisfying. I feel lucky because I have very little expectations for life. I still believe that most of my professional and personal accomplishment comes by the way of fate more than anything else. I try hard, but I know to expect nothing.

One lesson in all this - the most important quality to gain in life is humility.

networking

I have been receiving many invites to join many social networks by friends. Just don't want to set up yet another profile and spend time updating it or not update it due to the lack of time.

Professionally, I like where I am and don't see the need to network online.

Personally, b/t my blog, my social gatherings, my calls and e-mails, I keep in touch with all the people that I need to connect with.

It comes down to time. I know for many of my friends, these sites help them keep in touch, so there is value. For me, they may take up precious time that I want to spend doing something else...

yet another friend

Sometimes being intuitive is a curse.

After a second date, I knew that this latest guy and I can only be friends. Told him that tonight. I believe in being honest, and if I see a perfect mate for the other person that is not me, then I lose interest completely. I want this great guy to be completely free to meet the right person for him. It's too bad because there was a connection, and he is impressive.

Even though I want to have a relationship, I am not quite ready to give up my hectic life. When I can meet someone who can relate to or support my four-events-a-day schedule, then I'll be in a relationship.

Until then, there are single parties to plan, weights to lift, and work to do. Went into the office Sat and was productive. I also brought work home tonight. It's all right because I used to have community meetings that go on til 10pm!

Excited because I do believe in what I am doing and am grateful for the opportunity to learn!

show me what you've got

In reading M's blog about the different types of guys, I can't help compare the two that pique my interest of late.

Totally different types of guys. One is who I want to be - smooth, successful, and very focused. The other is who I can relate to - humble, loner and an unconventional life path.

In consulting with the energy lady Maria, I know that one of them will be the one I end up with in 2008. (Do I dare to think beyond next year?)

I have chosen to invest my time with them lately because in both instances, the chemistry is incredible. This has happened once this past year, and Maria cleared that guy out quickly because it wasn't meant to be.

In their own ways, these guys impress me without trying. For now, that is the one trait I look for. Let's see who steps up next. Well, I think I know who's going to be my NYE date...

shifting gears

The one thing I love about driving a stick is that you can adjust the performance of the car more precisely to the conditions of the road.

It's all about paying attention, having fun, shift, and having more fun.

Work is kicking up a notch. It's all about how to be even more productive as a major deadline looms. I never thought I would love work this much, but I really do. There are some bumps b/c some of the deals are complicated, but the learning is exciting.

I am going to be working a few hours this weekend and late one day next week. Don't mind at all because all the fun things this week and next will balance things out. Besides, I am still working about the same hours as the last job even with overtime.

It's like shifting, one actually step on the gas during the gear change, so it's more efficient at a higher speed.

p.s. Started to talk to dealer again about the next car. Stayed tuned...

man of the times

There is being oneself, and there is being oneself that is embraced by others.

In talking to a couple of guy friends lately, being a nice just doesn't seem to win the ladies' hearts any more.

My mother told me that one of the reasons that she picked my father over her many suitors was that most of her friends agreed that he was the nicest guy.

These days, being accomplished seems to be the most desirable trait. A person has to be fit, intelligent, talented, and well-traveled. Whatever happen to just having a good heart?

When has being adventurous a desirable trait? My father is not the most adventurous person, but he was respected due to his dedication to the community. He is very lucky that his personality suited his era.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, women tends to look for men that have what is socially desirable.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I don't usually follow the trend. Let's see if the current candidate will be around long enough for me to see if I need Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Accomplished...

work, play and evolve

As luck would have it, I am currently working on affordable housing projects. It's exciting to do something I truly believe in.

Am filling out a planning application for the project and justifying why this project promotes the various policies of the City's general plan.

I am thoroughly inspired to make this my life's work - increasing housing stock, especially affordable housing. Only by providing everyone with a comfortable home, can we strive toward utopia.

It makes me sad to see people ask for money at freeway junctions. I don't give change then, but I hope that when I have kids or grandkids, we can have less homelessness and better housing stock.

unexpected surprises

Just when I have life all figured out, it throws me a curve ball. I am no longer phased by surprises, but some how people who don't fit neatly into boxes continue to appear in my life. Like-minds attract?

On another note. I spent a few days in San Jose, CA, and the 10th largest city in the U.S. is a force to be reckoned with. Between new high-rise condomiums, a light rail transportation system that is on-time to the minute, and more brain power than anywhere else in the world, SF should be very affraid. City persons like myself might just find another city to live in soon. The most unexpected conclusion is the diversity. Some how San Jose is allowing all types of lifestyle to co-exist more seamlessly.

Appaulse to the City to the South.

go see this

During my trip to NY, I saw the Hirst shark. It was sad that not many people were crowded around this amazing piece. Guess not everyone is a modern art fan.

Then, there is the Eliasson exhibit at SFMOMA going on now through February 24.

Good art makes us feel so much. The amazing pieces energize me and give me a sense of joy.

Happy viewing.

work and play

One observation about the new job is that I am working about the same hours as before but learning 3 times as much.

It's all about focusing. Now that I am not trying to put out fires around the office, I am able to zero in on the substantive assignments.

It helps to have a good boss and an amazing support staff.

Also scaling back in my personal life. It's been six months since someone made it past the second date. Looking forward to falling madly in love again, but I am not holding my breath.

Life is perfect as is, and I want to enjoy this moment for a while.

yet another sustainable tool

New job is fantastic. My first three assignments are a senior care facility, rebuilding dilapidated affordable housing and tax-credit housing project, and it's only the second day.

New job means new ways to get around. I take public transportation to work now.

Today, had to go to a community meeting (I am helping Skyline College raise money. How to get there when there is no public transit close to the campus?

Car share program. I had signed up during their free annual-fee promotion, so I only pay as I use the cars.

I was able to sign up for a car last night. Today, I drove take a car from a public parking lot that is a 5-minute walk from the office, attended my meeting and got back to work without worrying about parking or traffic to and from work. The process costs less and was faster than driving my own car.

It's fun to be green.

life gets better w/age

Went to a couple of events tonight. One professional and another at a friend's place. Wow, is it the latest session with energy healer, or am I seeing everything so clearly? It's a lot easier to just see people for themselves and not be so concerned about how I can fit in or be liked.

Felt slightly foolish for being so eager to please in the past, especially with men, but now it's just about letting events unfold.

Lots of candidates running for Mr. Right, but I know better. Many are more suited as Mr. Right Now, so why not just enjoy their friendship and free them from finding someone who will care about them unconditionally?

It's tricky. Give first or wait to be given. I am still giving first, but that's part of who I am. Waiting to see what happens next.

fully committed

What have you done for your community lately?

The reason for all the posts lately about recycling and sustainability is due to the belief that each of us can make a difference.

To make more of a difference, I decided to join my HOA Board and the President's Council at Skyline College (fundraising group).

In addition, organizing all the social events are quite fun, but they are merely reminders that to receive, we must give.

It can be something small, like voting or donating to charities, or it can be as big as changing another human being's life.

We don't know the limitations of our powers until we test it. I am lucky that my passions happen to be quite social, so I can stay connected and continue to pursue what makes me happy.

Tomorrow is another day off, but I will be going to a community meeting and a professional function. There is something about being connected to civic organizations that increase the meaning of living in the now.

What are you going to do for your community tomorrow?

new beginning

Started to use my compost bin. Whoohoo!!

sustainability

What have you done for Mother Earth lately?

After I toured the NorCal Transfer Station (the garbage dump), I thought long and hard about my daily habits. They are pretty good but could be much better.

Garbage is a big part of sustainable living. I recycle and throw out very little garbage (I take plastic bags to grocery stores and packing pellets to mail stores). After this Thursday, I'll throw out almost no garbage as my building joins the compost service (green bins that take away food scraps).

I bring my own bags to stores. It throws the clerks off to not bag, but I insist on not creating more waste.

I bring my own coffee mug to cafes. Think about how many cups you throw away on a weekly basis, so just recycling paper at the office is not enough.

I keep metal utensils at work, so I don't have to use plastic forks, knives, and spoons.

Once a week, I have my no-car day. This is a day (it'll be Sunday this week) in which I get around by walking or public transit or carpooling. I also walk to the gym and one of my grocery stores.

Food turns out to consume the most energy, even more than driving because so many items have to be trucked in. Also, some items take much more energy to produce than other items. Red meat is the worst. The rule of thumb in the sustainability movement is that if you cut down the red meat that you eat by half, you will save more resources than giving up a car. Who knew!

Also, eating locally helps. My try to not eat food that come in a package and shop at farmers' market. It's also better for our body and tastier.

It's not hard to be environmentally conscious, but it does take a conscience. So get on it already!

policy choices

One of my professional interest is affordable housing (or BMR, below-market-rate, units).

I truly believe that providing adequate housing is the first step in making the world a better place. By taking away someone's worry about having a roof over their heads, that person can begin to focus on financial stability, health, and making the world a better place.

The latest debate over affordable housing is on-site versus off-site.

Affordable housing policies usually require a certain percentage of large housing projects to be affordable. This percentage of units are sold at a capped price. In SF, that number ranges from 12 to 20 percent. For the developer, the affordable housing requirement cuts into the projects' profits because these units are sold at below-market value, thus the nickname BMRs.

In an effort to compromise, a new type of BMR has emerged, the off-site. These BMRs are located not on the project site but within the City boundary. In SF, the off-site has to be located within one mile of the project site. Another requirement is that the number of BMR will increase relative to the original percentage.

The idea is that the cost of the off-site will be lower and that the developer is making enough on the original market-rate units that there is a financial incentive to opt for more affordable housing units. It's a win-win situation because the developer don't lose out as much and more housing units are created overall.

Is it really?

I am against off-site because w/o integration of the different classes, affordable housing are not as successful. Many of the public housing of the past are slums because throwing a lot of people who are financially strapped is never a good idea, not to mention many of the drugs and mental health issues that are often associated with those in public housing/affordable housing projects.

Housing, like neighborhoods, need to be diverse and integrate different populations to be successful. San Francisco is not as viberant as Los Angeles, scale aside, because it is not economically diverse. On-site BMRs are just another solution to create diversity.

True, BMR is not public housing, it is merely subsidized. Many people will never be able to afford even BMRs. Also, many developers feel that BMR is yet another exaction that is similar to the taking of property, so they argue that off-site is the best compromise.

One reason to leave my job (yes, I've accepted the offer) is that my company is about to embark on off-site BMRs, and it feels wrong to work on a project that wants to create off-site affordable housing.

The debate continues, and I am excited that I learned enough from this last job to be able to know where I stand. The next job will have its share of tough choices, and I welcome the opportunity to help clients make the right choices.

decision time

I got the offer from the law firm. The meeting of the mind was not just in my head.

What's next?

time for a vacation

Am organizing yet another social event. This time, I made a couple of errors in corresponding to the venue manager. The details are now straightened out, but I know it's a sign to slow down.

Since February 2004, I have organized over 100 events. 70 of those were organized via evites. This is not counting the dinners and guests that I hosted over the years. Of course, not counting the dates with men...

Wow, that is a lot of good times. I am grateful for the events, but it's time to change focus.

I am not quite ready to give up my guestlists, but I am ready to slow down. Am off to a mini vacation and then possibly the last wine event?!

turn it down

For a couple of months now, I have been on a mission to not take a plastic bag at stores. It's simpler than you think, but some effort to think is required.

Every time I was at the check out and offered a bag, I either have my own bag or refuse a bag. It's amazing how many bags I have saved.

Try it. Keep a cloth bag around or bring old plastic/paper bags to the grocery store. Try carrying items in your hands from the store to the car; you don't need a bag when you've got hands.

Also, I try to use a travel coffee mug when I get coffee. Between my weekend breakfast with E and my community meetings at the local cafes, I saved closed to 40 paper cups this year! It was funny to carry my coffee mug to lunch and to the movies this past Sunday, but at least I didn't throw yet another paper cup away...