the best vacation ever

I came back from a week-long vacation, and it was what I needed.

Being relaxed completely was so nice. Mostly, I spent time with family, ate, slept and read. Most importantly, my soul got a break to rediscover what is truly important to me.

So silly that I have been caught up by work and my emotional responses to work that I forgot that my life has never been just about work. Taiwan has a Lemmings culture, where everyone has similar outlook. That similarity reminded me that I was trying to emulate a lot of workaholics I know.

I have never been one to follow the norm. It's okay to have my own rules about work and play. I'll probably not be rich because of my insistence on having fun, but I will continue to be happy.

This was also a trip to focus on financial goals. Need to start to think about how to finance my dream to take a year off and live in South America in the next five years!!

being different

This past weekend, I went snowboarding with some friends, mostly guys. It was a blast.

One reason why I am so comfortable being around men is that men tend to embrace each other's differences. Many men get a kick out of being outrageous around their closest friends.

Unfortunatley, the same cannot be said for all women. In fact, I have worked harder on my female friendships b/c when I find that special woman who can let me be me, I court her. I put more effort into my female friendships b/c it is rare for me to find those few who appreciate my refusal to conform.

This year, I have definitely come into my own, with the help of all my friends. With such a wide range of friends, I finally figured out who I am. Although continuing to grow at a rapid pace and unable to stay still, I like this place that I am in right now. I do whatever I want, and I do it on my terms.

True, I cannot control a lot of things and people in my life, but I have absolute control over my mind and my actions. There is an incredible freedom in being able to follow my gut every step of the way and just know what to do in every situation.

This past weekend, snowboarding on runs that I couldn't even imagine just a year ago was such a high. Last year, in order to make it to the blacks, I took two days off work and lived in Tahoe all by myself for 2 nights. Taking private lessons in the middle of the week was what got me to master snowboarding. I am still not true black yet, but this is the season that I want to be good enough to travel the world and snowboard at resorts outside of Tahoe.

What's your dream? Dare to be different, but step up to the challenge and make those dreams your reality.

small victories

Last night, I swam more than I ever did - eight laps of freestyle!

Due to an accident at my first swimming lesson, I hate putting my face in the water. So whenever I was in the pool, it was with a lifesaver or backstroke.

After watching Riding Giants, a surfing movie, two years ago, I knew that I will one day want to learn to surf. Well, got to swim first.

Even living at great places with pools, I never could go for more than 2 laps. It's just so traumatizing.

Well, with a friend's encouragement and her great pool, I finally did it! It was a break through for me. Today, I have been on cloud nine. Who knew that it took something so small to change my whole outlook? Cannot wait to go to Hawaii and learn to surf next!

the art of rejection

I have been polling my friends about how to reject men romantically. The one drawback about going on lots of dates with people is that there are rejections, on both sides. Almost everyone says to be direct, but I tried that and just don't think it's me.

I've been rejected enough times to know that it's not fun being on the receiving end of one of _those_ speech. One cannot be nice about it.

What's easier is to allow people to see for themselves why the relationship would never work. I am always my crazy self, so more often than not, men know exactly why they wouldn't want to be involved with me long term...

Besides, it cannot be easy to date someone who is just not quite ready to settle down just yet...

candlestick stadium plan

Watch it at
http://sanfrancisco.granicus.com/ViewPublisher.php?view_id=10
11/21 Board of Supervisors Hearing Item #31

Or read about it
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/11/22/BAGM1MI1FR1.DTL

warm and fuzzy feeling

I don't much like surprises. I read movie reviews before I watch them, and I don't go to restaurants without a recommendation.

Last night, my date and I went to a restaurant on a whim. What a pleasant surprise! It was one of the best meals ever; the food and the service were excellent. Who knew this little place in a strip mall would have that rare combination of great food and causal atmosphere?

It was a simple yet magical night. It's surprising to meet someone so different from me yet so similar. Most men I meet expect something from me, either my time or my company or what I can do for them. I once lived to please other people. Not any more, so even though I meet plenty of great guys, no one has been quite right. Conversely, when I expected too much at times, the dating experiences have turned sour.

So, it's a new beginning. I don't know what's going to happen, but I've learned to be patient and let life unfolds. For now, I am very, very happy...

different priorities

Had another 12-hour work day. Didn't even make it to the office. Was at an expert witness' office and then in mediation session all day.

We were so close, but still no settlement. I got mad and blew up just a bit at all the attorneys at the end of the day.

Still, it was a great day. I confirmed a date for tomorrow night, and one of the attorneys on our team and I were flirting with each other. This is the same guy that I had a crush on a while back when we hired him for another project. He is on board for this lawsuit to help with the technical aspects of the settlement.

This attorney, our litigation attorney and me were stuck at the mediator's office for 8 hours! Glad I got to have some fun while there. It was so close b/c we had a settlement agreement almost all ready to go, but then the other side came back with a completely new term sheet and wouldn't give us an extension on some motions due tomorrow. Our litigation attorney went back to the office to work tonight...

Even though I had previously believed that this environmental attorney had an SO, it was clear that he is single and looking. Now I am even more motivated to find a new job, so I can date him. Even though there are no rules against attorneys dating their clients, I would rather be a non-client before becoming a romantic prospect.

Anyways, looking forward to tomorrow. Definitely excited about the date with yet another prospect...

social cues

I own a ring that only fits on my ring fingers on either hand. Given that I wear another ring from my mother on the right hand most of the time, I decided to wear the ring on the left Wednesday.

Today, while wrapping up a phone call with a colleague whom I met with on Wednesday, he asked about it. Oh no, I responded, it was just for fun.

Lately, I have been thinking about social cues. The ring is an obvious example, but there are many subtle signs of how people identify themselves.

Fashion is a prime example. I can always tell whether a woman is older...by the shape of her pants. Very few woman under 35 will wear tapper pants. We are the generation of boot-cut/flare pants. Another tell-tale-sign is purse length. During the 90s, purse straps became shorter in length, so when I see a woman carrying a long purse (the kind that dangles by her hips), I think 40+.

Another sign I have been looking at is eyebrows. My girlfriends fall into two camps, those who shape their eyebrows, and those who maintain their au natural shapes... It's not a big deal, but it does change the way a person's face look.

In the end, it doesn't matter what people look like or how they choose to spend their money on grooming, but I just find it an easy way for people to tell me something about themselves.

celebrity

Today, I heard Jack Foster Jr. speak. The Foster family built Foster City from what was called Brewer's Island strating in 1958.
http://www.fostercity.org/community_info/Introduction-to-the-History-of-Foster-City.cfm

I always thought Foster City as a very-well planned community. Every home had water view and the engineering prevented flooding and liquefaction. I was in awe to listen to the story from the man who was there from the very beginning.

Besides his involvement in a iconic project, Mr. Foster also gained my respect when he said that we must address the housing crisis in California. He pointed out that the real estate market can crash because of 1. too much housing feeding to the economy or 2. the economy restricting b/c workers cannot afford to live here. Right now, we are heading down path number 2, with option number 1 receiving no support from the existing residents and policy makers.

I got into the real estate development business because I want to build affordable housing. Here in the Bay Area, that mission is just to build housing period. I love it here, but I will leave the Bay Area if it means that the people here are not going to support the development that is necessary to increase diversity.

right here, right now

I don't know why there is so much desire for people to be young again. I had a great childhood and have been happy in my younger years, but life has always gotten better for me.

For each person, every stage of life brings a particular set of circumstances and events. The trick to live in the moment is to enjoy that unique set of facts.

I don't want to be anything else but me right now. I don't want to be living in another period of my life but right now.

I feel so lucky because there is no where I rather be than in my life at this particular moment. I love all the good fortunes, but I also embrace all the surprises. There is no good or bad outcome, there are only the facts of my day.

life is like this

I invited 3 people to dinner tonight about a week ago. It was all very up in the air. Of course, as luck would have it, all three people canceled. I am so used to these ups and downs. Started to invite some people last-minute, still no takers. Guess I'll be eating some yummy lunch tomorrow!

Just like the fall on Saturday (that bruise looks so nasty!), life goes on. I firmly believe if I don't dwell on life's ups and downs, I can get so much more done in a day.

Now, time to start planning for the snow season!!

sincere thanks

You were there for me.

You listened and let me rant without judging.

You repeated my words, so I can hear myself.

You pointed out my flaws without hurting my feelings (too much).

You led me to the truth without embarassing me.

Your patience and care brought me much support and joy.

To all the girlfriends who listened and gave me the dose of reality I needed this weekend: thank you for being there.

wall flowers

It was sad to talk to a woman in her mid-20s while taking a dance break and found out that her friends and her drove all the way from San Jose to San Francisco tonight to club. There they were, sitting pretty, in a row, and all looking quite miserable.

At first, my friend and I encouraged them to join us on the dance floor. Then, it occurred to me that they just don't know how to have fun.

Sometime during the night, I fell and had a bruised knee, but I was able to keep dancing. This would not be the first time I fell, and it would not be the last. Still, I moved on and didn't give it too much thought. After all, the moment of the fall was long over, and I wanted to focus on the next moment, which was all about dancing up a storm.

As always, I had a great time. I hope the wall flowers will one day figure out that it's all about what is in the mind and soul and not perception.

no diva

I want to dance with somebody, somebody who loves me....
I want to dance with somebody, somebody who loves meeeee....

NOT.

what would you like

Lately, I have been observing grown adults asking the young members of their family where they should eat. Seriously, you wouldn't let your toddlers drive, so why let them decide where to eat?

Although making choices are one of the luxuries in life, I don't believe most children should be given so many choices. Most times, these children who are asked to choose are not ready for the responsibility.

I had a great childhood b/c I hardly have to make choices. I eat what was put in front of me. My choices were what's on the table or to be hungry. By not participating in my food choices, I also avoided a lot of bad habits. I didn't choose junk food over healthy food b/c I only had healthy food.

Same thing with consumption. The last time I visited a friend of mine, she was in the process of trying to get her daughter to throw up some of her 200+ collection of stuffed animals. Of course, by allowing the child to choose, about 150+ of the toys stayed. It was sad because the mother acted as if she didn't know how all this happened.

It isn't easy to be the disciplinarian, but it is absolutely necessary. Rather than focusing on choices, kids should be learning responsibilities and giving to others. A person has all of his adulthood to learn how to make consumption choices but only his formidable years to learn how to be a decent person.

moving

The 49ers announced that it will give up the new stadium deal at Candlestick and move to Santa Clara.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/11/09/BAGHUM9FAH6.DTL

My company owns neighboring land near the Candlestick stadium and has been talking with Lennar about some joint deals for transportation projects.

It's very likely that this is a PR ploy to get the City of SF to back off some of its demands on the 49ers, including a vote for the new stadium and no government funding for the project.

The one thing I have learned from this job is that it's all business. Each player strategizes to make the most gain for its projects. It's never personal, but many people are affected by these multi-million dollar deals.

More than ever, I am looking to leave because my life is all about interpersonal relationships. I cannot be in an environment where people don't care about the fundamental relationships. So, back to the job listings.

social style

Once in a while I will browse on random people's Friendster/MySpace/Xanga. It's always amusing how people are so different yet so similar.

One consistent theme is the idea that there are people who let you be you. I am always myself, so the idea of a select of people who let me be me isn't as important. Still, I do have my ring of support that I use to buffer against the craziness of life.

When I started the Dinner for the Ladies, it was an attempt to mimic this ring of support. After two years, I am no longer as close to the group b/c my social style is more random. The idea that one group is there to be supportive doesn't fit my lifestyle. I like one-on-one, so that nearly all my closest friends don't know each other, and the makeup of that group changes from time to time.

I love how I don't hang out with the same people week after week. Life is always random, and that's part of how I have fun: mixing the people and the pattern of socializing.

Perhaps that is why now, more than ever, I am ready for that serious relationship. I need the stability to balance all the randomness in friendship.

what fuels passion?

One great thing that came out of the New York trip was a reminder to live passionately and with meaning.

Ironically, what determines the right choices are not at all conscious but purely instinctive decisions.

Over the weekend, I was out shopping with a friend when it occurred to me that buying things no longer have the same fulfillment as back in graduate school. During school, shopping was a great escape from the stress of studying. Now, it's the shopping itself that is stressful. There are so many things that are more fulfilling that Sunday was quite tiring.

The transition was surprising because for me clothing has always been a way of expression. Now, my focus is career and relationships and how my instincts bring me closer to a higher level in those areas...

just another day in job hunting ville

I did not get the call back from the City of SF that was to be scheduled for today. I thought I had a great interview on Tuesday.

That's how it goes. While looking for a writing sample for yet another job application, I saw the nearly 100 cover letters that I sent out back when I was looking for an attorney job after taking the bar.

That was a dark period in my life... I was unemployed and having trouble in my personal relationship. Ultimately, I got out of that relationship and found a job. Still, the stress of trying to find a job while unemployed was unbearable.

In some ways, this latest rejection is barely a bump in the road.

This incident is exactly why I love getting older. Not many things phases me at this point because I have had a lot of ups and downs in my teens and 20s.

More and more, I can accept the uncontrollable and rely completely on my intuition. It's almost fun to go through life because everything is meant to be...

Yes, I am emotionally affected by not getting the call back, but I move on. I don't have to dwell on those emotional responses but can free my spirit and mind to be ready for the next event in life. Right now, that means a fun weekend with friends!!

spirituality

As much as I love to work, my expectation of the role of work in my life has changed. In the ten years since starting graduate school, I firmly believe that my work needs to fulfill me on a deeper level. Besides a paycheck, I want my work to be an extension of my spiritual self.

Is that too much to ask?

Having met enough people who love their jobs, I know my dream job is around the corner. I don't want to discount all the places I have been because ultimately, I contributed.

Had my interview with the City of SF yesterday. Will hear back today on whether I am moving to the next round of interviews. In the meanwhile, there is a lot of work to do at the current job. Everything will play out. Just have to be patient.

Will continue to cultivate the spirit despite the demands of the current work...