Went on a tour of SOMA buildings Fri. Caught a good picture of past, present and future. It's the Chronicle headquarters in SOMA, the renovated Mint, and the InterContinental Hotel.
Monday, July 02, 2007
the old and the new
Went on a tour of SOMA buildings Fri. Caught a good picture of past, present and future. It's the Chronicle headquarters in SOMA, the renovated Mint, and the InterContinental Hotel.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
friend of the moment
I tend to change my female friend of the moment just as I change the men I date. I have no qualm about dropping female friends of the moment if I feel that there is no longer meeting of the minds or reciprocation. I used to give without expecting anything in return. Now that I am much more selfish, I don't try too hard if it takes more than three to four tries to get together.
I learn to move on w/friends given my dating experience. Men have taught me how to not take lost connections personally. If a woman is important enough, the guy will make the effort.
Maybe learning how to move on is the reason why I have civilized break-ups. I don't understand how people have shouting matches or arguments at the end. It's just not worth the emotional upheaval. Connections are suppose to uplift us. If it feels like too much work or scary, then either work on ourselves, communicate clearly, or exit gracefully.
One interesting note. At times, my female friends have commented negatively on the men of the moment. I always pick the romantic interest over the friend. Not listening to friends has worked out very well for me; they reveal the friends of the moment.
I learn to move on w/friends given my dating experience. Men have taught me how to not take lost connections personally. If a woman is important enough, the guy will make the effort.
Maybe learning how to move on is the reason why I have civilized break-ups. I don't understand how people have shouting matches or arguments at the end. It's just not worth the emotional upheaval. Connections are suppose to uplift us. If it feels like too much work or scary, then either work on ourselves, communicate clearly, or exit gracefully.
One interesting note. At times, my female friends have commented negatively on the men of the moment. I always pick the romantic interest over the friend. Not listening to friends has worked out very well for me; they reveal the friends of the moment.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
thinking too much
I think the last post was a reaction to J's comment last Fri that I am not going to make it through July w/o dating someone.
Should be an interesting month. Yes, let the guy lead for a change. Did I mention that I am taking private salsa lessons? Going to a salsa club tonight to be twirled around.
Can't talk about or think about dating too much. I do everything by gut, but then when I write about it, it takes the fun out of the magical experiences.
Oh! Some exciting news. I have an informational lunch w/a big company next Thursday. It's for a possible position. Cross my fingers.
Should be an interesting month. Yes, let the guy lead for a change. Did I mention that I am taking private salsa lessons? Going to a salsa club tonight to be twirled around.
Can't talk about or think about dating too much. I do everything by gut, but then when I write about it, it takes the fun out of the magical experiences.
Oh! Some exciting news. I have an informational lunch w/a big company next Thursday. It's for a possible position. Cross my fingers.
how the game is played
Ended a hanging out session. Stayed out in public. ;) It wasn't a date b/c there wasn't any formality to it. I am not sure where I stand, but I always know before the guy when it's not going to work out. :P
The night ended w/o much commotion. I know it's not meant to be. Almost amused that the men often think there is more b/c of their hormones. Too bad I am focused on career right now. I want to have a magical experience, but I cannot invest in a man when work is my mistress.
Ultimatley, I see how people see me; I get a lot of facination and admiration but not true understanding. Until that one guy is willing to walk to the end of the earth for me and me him, game is at love. Hum, still no ace yet, but it's a five-set game baby.
The night ended w/o much commotion. I know it's not meant to be. Almost amused that the men often think there is more b/c of their hormones. Too bad I am focused on career right now. I want to have a magical experience, but I cannot invest in a man when work is my mistress.
Ultimatley, I see how people see me; I get a lot of facination and admiration but not true understanding. Until that one guy is willing to walk to the end of the earth for me and me him, game is at love. Hum, still no ace yet, but it's a five-set game baby.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
satisfaction
I can die happy now.
It's a random but powerful thought that popped into my head yesterday. I have everything I want in life.
Was exchanging e-mails with a new friend. In telling me their how-we-met story, she joked that she meant to go out, date lots of men and break some hearts but ended up marrying her high school sweetheart. Then I remembered being 12 and believing that I was going to be single forever. It's an odd example of wanting something and getting it, but many facets of my reality are subconscious goals from childhood.
That's why whenever I ask my dad for advice, he always say that I have all the answers myself. Yes, I do!
We all have the answers. Every single one of us has the insight to overcome every challenge, if we listen to our intuition.
Life is quite easy. There is no negativity, only the wonder of how we will choose to embrace challenges and fulfill our destiny.
It's a random but powerful thought that popped into my head yesterday. I have everything I want in life.
Was exchanging e-mails with a new friend. In telling me their how-we-met story, she joked that she meant to go out, date lots of men and break some hearts but ended up marrying her high school sweetheart. Then I remembered being 12 and believing that I was going to be single forever. It's an odd example of wanting something and getting it, but many facets of my reality are subconscious goals from childhood.
That's why whenever I ask my dad for advice, he always say that I have all the answers myself. Yes, I do!
We all have the answers. Every single one of us has the insight to overcome every challenge, if we listen to our intuition.
Life is quite easy. There is no negativity, only the wonder of how we will choose to embrace challenges and fulfill our destiny.
Monday, June 25, 2007
loving this book
I stayed up last night to read Min Jin Lee's book. Half way through, and I love it!!
Besides the great writing and the relevance of the story to our generation, the plot makes me so grateful to be me.
My life is quite ordinary. I don't have any worries, am surrounded by lots of support, and I have all the resources to realize my goals.
Excited that this will be a year of even more good reading!
Besides the great writing and the relevance of the story to our generation, the plot makes me so grateful to be me.
My life is quite ordinary. I don't have any worries, am surrounded by lots of support, and I have all the resources to realize my goals.
Excited that this will be a year of even more good reading!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
clear my head
B/t the hike yesterday and the walk tonight, I feel invincible. Others have yoga, but I have my own ways of centering myself.
What's even more perfect is how fate introduces the opportunities for me to hike or walk.
The hike was partly work; I represent the company at community functions. Although I would probably have hiked even if not to represent the company, it was this job that led me to one of the most hidden treasures in the Bay Area, the San Bruno Mountain.
Same thing tonight; I felt better after a long walk. C and I met for our regular dinner out. It's always fun b/c we always eat well despite the tab; some unexpected saving always happen, especially at the better dinners. Tonight, b/t the happy hour wine prices and my discount card, it was more like buying each other lunch.
After, I walked home. The 2.7 miles felt short b/c at times I was going faster than the post-parade traffic on Van Ness. The trek made me want to find some more walking trips aroudn town...
What's even more perfect is how fate introduces the opportunities for me to hike or walk.
The hike was partly work; I represent the company at community functions. Although I would probably have hiked even if not to represent the company, it was this job that led me to one of the most hidden treasures in the Bay Area, the San Bruno Mountain.
Same thing tonight; I felt better after a long walk. C and I met for our regular dinner out. It's always fun b/c we always eat well despite the tab; some unexpected saving always happen, especially at the better dinners. Tonight, b/t the happy hour wine prices and my discount card, it was more like buying each other lunch.
After, I walked home. The 2.7 miles felt short b/c at times I was going faster than the post-parade traffic on Van Ness. The trek made me want to find some more walking trips aroudn town...
being smarter
Tonight, I drove back late from hanging out with a girlfriend, around 2am. Driving around SF late at night is liberating b/c there isn't any traffic. I also paid more attention b/c people are crazier at that time of the night.
Sure enough, there was a couple, attempting to cross the street in the middle of the block. They were forced to go back on the median when my car passed by them.
It was a stylish couple, although a foolish one. I felt so sorry for the woman b/c she was dragged by this man, with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.
Then, I felt sorry for both of them. Obviously, being in this relationship lowered their intelligence enough that they actually thought it was a good idea to cross the street from the middle of the block, in the dark.
Lately, many friends asked what I am looking for in a man. I finally figured out my answer. I want someone who can inspire me to be better.
There is someone that I admire right now who makes me want to be better, and that's a start.
Sure enough, there was a couple, attempting to cross the street in the middle of the block. They were forced to go back on the median when my car passed by them.
It was a stylish couple, although a foolish one. I felt so sorry for the woman b/c she was dragged by this man, with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.
Then, I felt sorry for both of them. Obviously, being in this relationship lowered their intelligence enough that they actually thought it was a good idea to cross the street from the middle of the block, in the dark.
Lately, many friends asked what I am looking for in a man. I finally figured out my answer. I want someone who can inspire me to be better.
There is someone that I admire right now who makes me want to be better, and that's a start.
Friday, June 22, 2007
the more things change...
Went to Berkeley w/a community member who is more of a friend. She treated me to chocolates at Alegio and lunch at Chez Panisse. It was for my b-day, since I picked up the tab for her b-day a couple of months ago. It's been amazing to have all these mentors and older friends over the years who showed me that being successful starts with a frame a mind.
The Gourmet Ghetto is no longer ghetto. It's pretty, and upscale!
The one surprise to this lovely lunch was how the food was great but not as wow as I remembered it. Okay, so it's the Cafe and not the actual restaurant. Still, living in SF has upped my expectations of everything.
It was the perfect break to a busy work week, and now I am ready to head off to celebrate my b-day!
The Gourmet Ghetto is no longer ghetto. It's pretty, and upscale!
The one surprise to this lovely lunch was how the food was great but not as wow as I remembered it. Okay, so it's the Cafe and not the actual restaurant. Still, living in SF has upped my expectations of everything.
It was the perfect break to a busy work week, and now I am ready to head off to celebrate my b-day!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
read this book
Went to my second book reading in a week. Good thing I don't have rules about events.
Actually bought the book at the signing. Fun to have a book signed out to me!
Glad that I have Monday's experience to compare. This is a first-time writer and a fiction book. Also an Asian American story.
Talked to the author Min Jin Lee after about how I don't have much of an Asian American experience b/c I was raised overseas by progressive parents. My parents accomplished so much that I don't have to live out their dreams. I wish I can live their reality!
That's why I want to buy the book. Maybe now I'll finally understand some of my friends better.
It was marvelous to be inspired by someone who is so passionate about fiction. I never read fiction, but now I am going to start. Love it when someone gets me to try something new...
Actually bought the book at the signing. Fun to have a book signed out to me!
Glad that I have Monday's experience to compare. This is a first-time writer and a fiction book. Also an Asian American story.
Talked to the author Min Jin Lee after about how I don't have much of an Asian American experience b/c I was raised overseas by progressive parents. My parents accomplished so much that I don't have to live out their dreams. I wish I can live their reality!
That's why I want to buy the book. Maybe now I'll finally understand some of my friends better.
It was marvelous to be inspired by someone who is so passionate about fiction. I never read fiction, but now I am going to start. Love it when someone gets me to try something new...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
hobby
Went to my favorite store today. Crossroads is a chain of thrift stores all over the country. They buy and sell current fashion, and the key is that they are quite selective about the items that they buy back.
Shopping at Crossroads is part of how I change my style. And more importantly, how I afford my lifestyle.
Rather than just shop at the stores as a retail experience, it is thrift shopping. There is a certain element of serendipidy. One also accept the likelihood of not finding anything, or worst, finding something almost right but for size, color, or defect (tear/stain/etc.).
To make it even more worth while, I usually sell something back and use the credit to buy something. The key is to get rid of things that don't quite work before they are completely outdated.
The buyback can be embarassing, as the buyer rejects item after item. I love it though; if they reject it, I shouldn't have it in my closet anyways. Today, I happen to have a few barely-worn items. Given that I hardly shop these days, even at Crossroads, I have had quite a few trips where they took nothing back...
No one can do this to make a living. Crossroads pays 35% cash value of sales prices and 50% in trade. Which translates to $3-$10. I always trade and even take a credit to use another time. In fact, I learned about Crossroads b/c a friend w/designer taste would go there to get a little something for her 3-to-4-digit purchases. In comparison, I rarely buy clothing for over $50...
After the buyback, if at all, I shop. There are quite a few rules. I only look for one or two types of clothing at once. For instance, today was all about trendy tops, for work and for play. Tops are grouped by colors, and I usually look through 3-4 colors at the most. The limitation helps me stay focused. I don't think the human mind can process too much information at once, so rather than trying to buy outfits, I look for pieces. Somewhat like finding that last missing piece of a puzzle.
I don't particularly love shopping. Supposedly women are gatherers and love the variety of shopping (it's suppose to simulate our food-gathering skills). I find shopping quiet inefficient and treat it as a need, like buying groceries. Shopping is merely finding costume for my life; my true passion is living in the moment.
Back to the rules. I usually have an intuitive sense of what I am looking for, and every article of clothing gets 2 seconds. If it doesn't impress me, it is passed over.
If something catches my eye and doesn't look too big, then I look for the tag. It helps to know that most tags are on the left-hand side seam, except certain brands like Benetton is on the right shoulder seam. Few woman's brands still have it on the back of the neck, but less so these days.
The tag tells the fabric. 100% cotton is a pass. Lycra content makes it less likely to wrinkle and help to maintain the shape. The blended content is also how I only iron once a month.
Dry-clean only doesn't matter. I use Dryel, and most of the stuff can be hand-washed. The warning is just the manufacturer's way of making sure you don't ruin the stuff.
Most of the shopping is done on the floor. I can eliminate 99% of the rack right there at the rack. I don't even have to look at the tags to reject based on style and size on about 70% of the inventory.
Try on is next. This is even more intuitive. Well, sometimes comical. I have had so many things that I could not even zip up or pull down; it's a relief that I am the only one in the dressing room.
Today was rare; I actually found four tops for every occasion. Even a "we're a couple" top! Well, I'll get into dressing for dating another day. Total cost? I actually bought something designer so had to spend money. It wasn't bad. Four tops for under $37 given the credit.
The best part? The entire time spent in the store was 32 minutes, counting the buyback. I think it took me longer to post this entry...
Shopping at Crossroads is part of how I change my style. And more importantly, how I afford my lifestyle.
Rather than just shop at the stores as a retail experience, it is thrift shopping. There is a certain element of serendipidy. One also accept the likelihood of not finding anything, or worst, finding something almost right but for size, color, or defect (tear/stain/etc.).
To make it even more worth while, I usually sell something back and use the credit to buy something. The key is to get rid of things that don't quite work before they are completely outdated.
The buyback can be embarassing, as the buyer rejects item after item. I love it though; if they reject it, I shouldn't have it in my closet anyways. Today, I happen to have a few barely-worn items. Given that I hardly shop these days, even at Crossroads, I have had quite a few trips where they took nothing back...
No one can do this to make a living. Crossroads pays 35% cash value of sales prices and 50% in trade. Which translates to $3-$10. I always trade and even take a credit to use another time. In fact, I learned about Crossroads b/c a friend w/designer taste would go there to get a little something for her 3-to-4-digit purchases. In comparison, I rarely buy clothing for over $50...
After the buyback, if at all, I shop. There are quite a few rules. I only look for one or two types of clothing at once. For instance, today was all about trendy tops, for work and for play. Tops are grouped by colors, and I usually look through 3-4 colors at the most. The limitation helps me stay focused. I don't think the human mind can process too much information at once, so rather than trying to buy outfits, I look for pieces. Somewhat like finding that last missing piece of a puzzle.
I don't particularly love shopping. Supposedly women are gatherers and love the variety of shopping (it's suppose to simulate our food-gathering skills). I find shopping quiet inefficient and treat it as a need, like buying groceries. Shopping is merely finding costume for my life; my true passion is living in the moment.
Back to the rules. I usually have an intuitive sense of what I am looking for, and every article of clothing gets 2 seconds. If it doesn't impress me, it is passed over.
If something catches my eye and doesn't look too big, then I look for the tag. It helps to know that most tags are on the left-hand side seam, except certain brands like Benetton is on the right shoulder seam. Few woman's brands still have it on the back of the neck, but less so these days.
The tag tells the fabric. 100% cotton is a pass. Lycra content makes it less likely to wrinkle and help to maintain the shape. The blended content is also how I only iron once a month.
Dry-clean only doesn't matter. I use Dryel, and most of the stuff can be hand-washed. The warning is just the manufacturer's way of making sure you don't ruin the stuff.
Most of the shopping is done on the floor. I can eliminate 99% of the rack right there at the rack. I don't even have to look at the tags to reject based on style and size on about 70% of the inventory.
Try on is next. This is even more intuitive. Well, sometimes comical. I have had so many things that I could not even zip up or pull down; it's a relief that I am the only one in the dressing room.
Today was rare; I actually found four tops for every occasion. Even a "we're a couple" top! Well, I'll get into dressing for dating another day. Total cost? I actually bought something designer so had to spend money. It wasn't bad. Four tops for under $37 given the credit.
The best part? The entire time spent in the store was 32 minutes, counting the buyback. I think it took me longer to post this entry...
social inequity
Was at Crushpad's happening open house Saturday. It's this wine-making facility in San Francisco. They buy grapes directly from vineyards for customers to create custom blends.
Yes, a brilliant idea: bringing wine making to the amature.
Our group that enjoys monthly wine tasting together considered for one minute on a potential vino joint venture, but then the idea of being stuck with 300 bottles that we all had to agree on...didn't fly.
Random thought: something not right about a place where you can plunk down $4K+ for a barrel of wine, hop on the light rail, and stop at 3 public housing projects en route...
Welcome to SF!
Yes, a brilliant idea: bringing wine making to the amature.
Our group that enjoys monthly wine tasting together considered for one minute on a potential vino joint venture, but then the idea of being stuck with 300 bottles that we all had to agree on...didn't fly.
Random thought: something not right about a place where you can plunk down $4K+ for a barrel of wine, hop on the light rail, and stop at 3 public housing projects en route...
Welcome to SF!
Monday, June 18, 2007
heroine
A friend invited me to a book signing, and I heard one of my heroes speak: Jackie Speier.
Here is a woman who was wounded by gun shots during a political investigation at age 28. Survived that and went on to be a pioneer in California politics. She then got married, had a child, lost an adoptive child (the birth mother wanted the child back), got pregnant, lost her husband in a car accident (by an uninsured motorist) while pregnant, and raised two children on her own, met a new husband, and continued to grow her career all this time.
I asked if she and her co-author could comment on how women of my generation have to chose either career or family while theirs seem to have it all. JackieSpeier said that she didn't get marry until 37, and Michealene Cristini Risley said the same thing, she waited to have kids.
Reading these women's professional bios was awe-inspiring, but meeting them and hearing the personal stories made me proud. Felt the kindred spirit w/these independent women who did what they needed to survive and shine as bright stars.
The best part was that my friend who invited me to this event had heard them speak before, and she thought of me and invited me tonight. T is in her 60s. I am touched by how others continue to lift my spirits despite the uncertainties in career and men.
Here is a woman who was wounded by gun shots during a political investigation at age 28. Survived that and went on to be a pioneer in California politics. She then got married, had a child, lost an adoptive child (the birth mother wanted the child back), got pregnant, lost her husband in a car accident (by an uninsured motorist) while pregnant, and raised two children on her own, met a new husband, and continued to grow her career all this time.
I asked if she and her co-author could comment on how women of my generation have to chose either career or family while theirs seem to have it all. JackieSpeier said that she didn't get marry until 37, and Michealene Cristini Risley said the same thing, she waited to have kids.
Reading these women's professional bios was awe-inspiring, but meeting them and hearing the personal stories made me proud. Felt the kindred spirit w/these independent women who did what they needed to survive and shine as bright stars.
The best part was that my friend who invited me to this event had heard them speak before, and she thought of me and invited me tonight. T is in her 60s. I am touched by how others continue to lift my spirits despite the uncertainties in career and men.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
hard core
Went climbing today. It's been a while. Still, glad that I can just take it up when a friend wants to go.
Saw a female climber who had a serious knee injury that she hobbled around with crutches. Looked like she had knee surgery.
She was climbing regardless! She used her two hands and one leg, climbing 10As! That's what I climb w/all my limbs!
Wow, it's good to see someone who loves something so much that she is willing to participate despite her injury.
Saw a female climber who had a serious knee injury that she hobbled around with crutches. Looked like she had knee surgery.
She was climbing regardless! She used her two hands and one leg, climbing 10As! That's what I climb w/all my limbs!
Wow, it's good to see someone who loves something so much that she is willing to participate despite her injury.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
eye opening
Went to Oakland to hang out with my friend A Friday night. She is African-American. Met her at a happy hour through a friend and just love her positive energy.
We sat by the window during dinner and checked out the other patrons and the people on the street. At one point, we noticed a very beautiful black woman. She joined another couple in the table next to us. We were curious as who was her date, since there was a fourth setting.
What was it about her? It was her stylish hair, her bohemian-yet-glamours outfit, and her confidence. She was HOT and elegant.
A few minutes later, another cute woman walked by. We concluded that she must be from the South. She was dressed for church, complete with dress pumps... It turned out that she was the fourth in the dinner party.
A was not surprised. She concluded that if she is set on finding a black man, she is going to have to move out of the Bay Area. Apparently, there are not enough black men who are college educated or above relative to black women in the same social-economic class.
This is the first time in my life that I entered the black community outside of work. I am glad A and I have become good friends; I am starting to see the world through her eyes. It is a very different world. The Bay Area black woman is like the South Bay Asian man, doesn't have enough available candidates in her own ethnicity.
Well, the night ended well. We went to a club across the street and chilled. When the music turned to salsa, A and I got up to twirl ourselves around. A couple of black guys asked us to dance. It was refreshing to dance with a gentleman who led with patience. Why does it not surprise me that this young man grew up in a foreign country?! I rarely meet an American man (of any ethnicity) who impresses me. :P
I didn't give him my number though. Not quite ready to give up my preference of dating Asian men.
Still, one couple figured it out. A and I asked an Asian brother to take a photo of us, and he was with a hot black woman...
We sat by the window during dinner and checked out the other patrons and the people on the street. At one point, we noticed a very beautiful black woman. She joined another couple in the table next to us. We were curious as who was her date, since there was a fourth setting.
What was it about her? It was her stylish hair, her bohemian-yet-glamours outfit, and her confidence. She was HOT and elegant.
A few minutes later, another cute woman walked by. We concluded that she must be from the South. She was dressed for church, complete with dress pumps... It turned out that she was the fourth in the dinner party.
A was not surprised. She concluded that if she is set on finding a black man, she is going to have to move out of the Bay Area. Apparently, there are not enough black men who are college educated or above relative to black women in the same social-economic class.
This is the first time in my life that I entered the black community outside of work. I am glad A and I have become good friends; I am starting to see the world through her eyes. It is a very different world. The Bay Area black woman is like the South Bay Asian man, doesn't have enough available candidates in her own ethnicity.
Well, the night ended well. We went to a club across the street and chilled. When the music turned to salsa, A and I got up to twirl ourselves around. A couple of black guys asked us to dance. It was refreshing to dance with a gentleman who led with patience. Why does it not surprise me that this young man grew up in a foreign country?! I rarely meet an American man (of any ethnicity) who impresses me. :P
I didn't give him my number though. Not quite ready to give up my preference of dating Asian men.
Still, one couple figured it out. A and I asked an Asian brother to take a photo of us, and he was with a hot black woman...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
do no wrong
At times, it's fun to impress others with our wit and accomplishments, but who can you really count on?
Over the weekend, E and I talked about how if we truly care about someone, that person can do no wrong.
Last night, E and I were planning to meet up for a drink, and he canceled. No big deal, since we just saw each other Sunday. In fact, it's nice to know that he is in the inner circle...
Over the weekend, E and I talked about how if we truly care about someone, that person can do no wrong.
Last night, E and I were planning to meet up for a drink, and he canceled. No big deal, since we just saw each other Sunday. In fact, it's nice to know that he is in the inner circle...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
playing
My girlfriend J told me recently that she's just looking to fall in love. Wow. I don't even think about that any more.
For me, having fallen in love enough times, I don't know if I need that any more.
My timeline is unconventional. While most of my single female friends (even the ones much older than me) are looking for their hubbies, I just ask for the one person that I can feel happy around.
Well, I have that already, so even if it's not mutual, I don't have to look any more.
So that's it in the dating department. It's time to just play with everything else. Time to explore other areas of my life...
For me, having fallen in love enough times, I don't know if I need that any more.
My timeline is unconventional. While most of my single female friends (even the ones much older than me) are looking for their hubbies, I just ask for the one person that I can feel happy around.
Well, I have that already, so even if it's not mutual, I don't have to look any more.
So that's it in the dating department. It's time to just play with everything else. Time to explore other areas of my life...
Monday, June 11, 2007
embrace the unknown
In a world where everything is plotted out like a printed map, my life is a series of adventures.
Rather than finding meaning in a linear life, where one feels compelled to make a certain amount of money or to get married by a certain age, I offer a more vibrant alternative to live.
The majority of my choices in life were based on instinct. I just know I have to do it. It's more efficient for me to go with my gut than the sit around, twittle my thumb, and wonder/worry until the window of opportunity closes.
It gets harder to let go of expectations as people age. Still, think back to being a child. A kid doesn't think too much about consequences or how he or she should act. They just know who to hang out with (usually good people who are patient with them) and what to do next.
I want to be more child-like now more than ever because all around, everyone is so serious and sometimes jaded. I have enough people telling me that I am making mistakes that I don't even think negatively any more.
It's all very amusing to me that life does get easier, if you allow it to be easy. I have never feel better, and it's all because I choose to embrace the unknown. Guess this is what is meant by letting go!
Rather than finding meaning in a linear life, where one feels compelled to make a certain amount of money or to get married by a certain age, I offer a more vibrant alternative to live.
The majority of my choices in life were based on instinct. I just know I have to do it. It's more efficient for me to go with my gut than the sit around, twittle my thumb, and wonder/worry until the window of opportunity closes.
It gets harder to let go of expectations as people age. Still, think back to being a child. A kid doesn't think too much about consequences or how he or she should act. They just know who to hang out with (usually good people who are patient with them) and what to do next.
I want to be more child-like now more than ever because all around, everyone is so serious and sometimes jaded. I have enough people telling me that I am making mistakes that I don't even think negatively any more.
It's all very amusing to me that life does get easier, if you allow it to be easy. I have never feel better, and it's all because I choose to embrace the unknown. Guess this is what is meant by letting go!
set me up!
Ready to get back out to the dating scene. Right, I never left.
Am ready to be set up though. So go through all your contact list and find me... a SF slacker who is respected!
Decided that while I am in my uber-ambitious mode right now, I just don't have time to deal with another driven, selfish man.
Bring me the beta male (as oppose to the alpha male). Still, I cannot be bored with a simple man, so maybe he gets respect through his humor or pecs or abs.
This is going to be an interesting summer!
Am ready to be set up though. So go through all your contact list and find me... a SF slacker who is respected!
Decided that while I am in my uber-ambitious mode right now, I just don't have time to deal with another driven, selfish man.
Bring me the beta male (as oppose to the alpha male). Still, I cannot be bored with a simple man, so maybe he gets respect through his humor or pecs or abs.
This is going to be an interesting summer!
Saturday, June 09, 2007
the secret to success
This has been a good week of connections.
A friend from SoCal came up for a retreat with her sister, and I met her for coffee for a couple of hours Thursday night. She didn't have the best time at the retreat, so she was especially appreciative of my company. I was the one who was grateful for her company! She is a professor (one year away from tenure!) at a Cal State university. We met while she was aphD and myself a masters student.
The two hours together wasn't long, but it made me happier than usual at the speed dating event.
Then, going down to San Jose was a way to see my brother and sister-in-law who are consumed by their new home for the moment. I'm so proud of them, always figuring out how to finance and execute all their dreams.
Quite a few friends came out for drinks with me Fri night, so it was good to chill.
My girlfriend D hosted the party, and the gender ratio was terrible. At least D had a good time with all the attention. It as 7 to 25... At one point, C's SO went to get me a drink, and immediately, two guys swooped in. I was able to clue the one next to me that she's taken as they both turned on the charm. C and I had to excuse ourselves to go find her guy.
I wasn't in the mood to chit chat, so a couple of girlfriends and I headed to another club to dance instead. It was a blast. Got to cherish these moments of dancing w/girlfriends!
This morning, on my way home, I had breakfast with a City girl married to a South Bay guy. It was wonderful to catch up. We got into business ideas. Yes, this year (my b-day is around the corner, so my years start in June) is more focus on making money. Selling my car was a good start. What's next?!
A friend from SoCal came up for a retreat with her sister, and I met her for coffee for a couple of hours Thursday night. She didn't have the best time at the retreat, so she was especially appreciative of my company. I was the one who was grateful for her company! She is a professor (one year away from tenure!) at a Cal State university. We met while she was aphD and myself a masters student.
The two hours together wasn't long, but it made me happier than usual at the speed dating event.
Then, going down to San Jose was a way to see my brother and sister-in-law who are consumed by their new home for the moment. I'm so proud of them, always figuring out how to finance and execute all their dreams.
Quite a few friends came out for drinks with me Fri night, so it was good to chill.
My girlfriend D hosted the party, and the gender ratio was terrible. At least D had a good time with all the attention. It as 7 to 25... At one point, C's SO went to get me a drink, and immediately, two guys swooped in. I was able to clue the one next to me that she's taken as they both turned on the charm. C and I had to excuse ourselves to go find her guy.
I wasn't in the mood to chit chat, so a couple of girlfriends and I headed to another club to dance instead. It was a blast. Got to cherish these moments of dancing w/girlfriends!
This morning, on my way home, I had breakfast with a City girl married to a South Bay guy. It was wonderful to catch up. We got into business ideas. Yes, this year (my b-day is around the corner, so my years start in June) is more focus on making money. Selling my car was a good start. What's next?!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
reporting back
Just got back from the speed dating event. Wow, the people are so young. Okay, so my friend's friend, the organizer, was desparate. Yikes, what a way to make a living. Despite her efforts, about 3 guys had to sit out in each round as it is.
Still, better odds for most of these guys! Several were from the South Bay, and a lot were so straight-laced. One guy was kind of a jerk, but probably b/c he was too buzzed.
Overall, good event, since it was very diverse, both ethnicity and geography. Good practice, but no connection for me. Just one guy stood out, but he lives in Sunnyvale and is young, maybe 5 years younger.
It's just another experience. I don't spend all that much time judging experiences. Just have to get up and go.
Side note. My mind is stuck on someone in my past. We started to e-mail again, but I am not going to do anything. Dating has been easier of late b/c the guy makes the first move. Learning from salsa that it's easier to respond to signals. For now, focusing on studying...
Still, better odds for most of these guys! Several were from the South Bay, and a lot were so straight-laced. One guy was kind of a jerk, but probably b/c he was too buzzed.
Overall, good event, since it was very diverse, both ethnicity and geography. Good practice, but no connection for me. Just one guy stood out, but he lives in Sunnyvale and is young, maybe 5 years younger.
It's just another experience. I don't spend all that much time judging experiences. Just have to get up and go.
Side note. My mind is stuck on someone in my past. We started to e-mail again, but I am not going to do anything. Dating has been easier of late b/c the guy makes the first move. Learning from salsa that it's easier to respond to signals. For now, focusing on studying...
go w/it
A friend just called about an hour ago, asking if I am willing to go to a speed dating event to even up the gender ratio.
I am actually a bit too old for the party tonight, but that's b/t you and me.
Good thing I have done this before. Got my list of questions. I usually ask people to pick a number between 1-7 and have a pre-printed list of questions. It's a lot more interesting than where are you from, where did you go to school, zzzz...
I always have a surprise question. One that is the funny one. Tonight's question is what makes a woman hot. Let's hope most people pick that one.
I'll report back later. Should be a good night, since they are making the ratio more even. BTW, this is also a mixed race event.
I am actually a bit too old for the party tonight, but that's b/t you and me.
Good thing I have done this before. Got my list of questions. I usually ask people to pick a number between 1-7 and have a pre-printed list of questions. It's a lot more interesting than where are you from, where did you go to school, zzzz...
I always have a surprise question. One that is the funny one. Tonight's question is what makes a woman hot. Let's hope most people pick that one.
I'll report back later. Should be a good night, since they are making the ratio more even. BTW, this is also a mixed race event.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
rules are meant to be...
...tested.
Sometimes rules are necessary for safety and order, and I am good at following. At times, I follow the rules so well that I can then bend the rules.
The few struggles that I have in life are due to attempts to create my own set of rules. The light bulb went on today: I am truly happy because I figure out for myself which rules to follow and which ones to bend.
Rules of dating are easy to bend because it's more about getting to the core of who people are rather than societal rules about men and women (in the hetero dating world). The reason why I can date players and the needy people for a while because I know how to engage at their level.
Career is tougher because the rules are more linear. Still, by making unconventional choices, I have gotten so much out of my professional paths. I am grateful for the challenges, but ultimately I want a job that reflects the core of who I am.
I am proud of my life. The present balance is an accurate reflection of my true self. Even this pride is a careful balance between egotism and humility.
My life's mission is the prefect balance of opposites. My ability to move easily between two extremes allows me to freely express any mood at any given moment. The executive, the admin. The serious adult, the gleeful child. The foreigner, the American. The philosopher, the athlete.
Having twice as many roles means that I have to make time for more life experiences. Making time is the number one priority right now. Having fun is equally important because that's how my subconscious mind can appear and recharge my physical and intellectual selves.
Enough esoteric musings. Off to salsa class and then gym...
Sometimes rules are necessary for safety and order, and I am good at following. At times, I follow the rules so well that I can then bend the rules.
The few struggles that I have in life are due to attempts to create my own set of rules. The light bulb went on today: I am truly happy because I figure out for myself which rules to follow and which ones to bend.
Rules of dating are easy to bend because it's more about getting to the core of who people are rather than societal rules about men and women (in the hetero dating world). The reason why I can date players and the needy people for a while because I know how to engage at their level.
Career is tougher because the rules are more linear. Still, by making unconventional choices, I have gotten so much out of my professional paths. I am grateful for the challenges, but ultimately I want a job that reflects the core of who I am.
I am proud of my life. The present balance is an accurate reflection of my true self. Even this pride is a careful balance between egotism and humility.
My life's mission is the prefect balance of opposites. My ability to move easily between two extremes allows me to freely express any mood at any given moment. The executive, the admin. The serious adult, the gleeful child. The foreigner, the American. The philosopher, the athlete.
Having twice as many roles means that I have to make time for more life experiences. Making time is the number one priority right now. Having fun is equally important because that's how my subconscious mind can appear and recharge my physical and intellectual selves.
Enough esoteric musings. Off to salsa class and then gym...
Monday, June 04, 2007
looking back...
In my effort to leave the current job, I completely lost sight of enjoying the current work experience.
On my daily commute, I pass a large public housing project, and I was reminded of when I was a volunteer attorney for a few residents there.
It was odd to walk into these subsidized housing that were never meant to be permanent. Besides the dilapidated physical environment, the residents face constant problems with neighbors and the public housing authority. My role was to ensure that some of these residents didn't end up on the streets while dealing with landlord-tenant issues.
My work is so different now, but the commitment to be the best hasn't changed. I am reminded of having and serving my purpose.
I am grateful that my life is so magical. If my only issue is not finding a soulmate, then I am indeed lucky.
Monday. Back to work. Should be a quick week. Will be studying like mad for the next 3 weeks.
On my daily commute, I pass a large public housing project, and I was reminded of when I was a volunteer attorney for a few residents there.
It was odd to walk into these subsidized housing that were never meant to be permanent. Besides the dilapidated physical environment, the residents face constant problems with neighbors and the public housing authority. My role was to ensure that some of these residents didn't end up on the streets while dealing with landlord-tenant issues.
My work is so different now, but the commitment to be the best hasn't changed. I am reminded of having and serving my purpose.
I am grateful that my life is so magical. If my only issue is not finding a soulmate, then I am indeed lucky.
Monday. Back to work. Should be a quick week. Will be studying like mad for the next 3 weeks.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
cancelation
Never thought I would have this day, but I went with my gut and canceled two planned events.
One was a lunch with a group of six girlfriends, and the other was a dinner party at a friend's place.
Both were out of the the City, and some weekends, I just want to stay in SF.
Once again, I am changing. Like how some things are constant, other things change. It does take more understanding from the people in my life. Ironic b/c most of my friends have gone through their major life changes and are settling down while I am still on the upward climb.
Right now, it's the steepest part fo the hill, and I am embracing the ascend.
One was a lunch with a group of six girlfriends, and the other was a dinner party at a friend's place.
Both were out of the the City, and some weekends, I just want to stay in SF.
Once again, I am changing. Like how some things are constant, other things change. It does take more understanding from the people in my life. Ironic b/c most of my friends have gone through their major life changes and are settling down while I am still on the upward climb.
Right now, it's the steepest part fo the hill, and I am embracing the ascend.
Friday, June 01, 2007
stereotypes
I have a few female friends who are beyond child-bearing years, and hanging out with them is always interesting.
One thing is that they care more about the guy's financial status, where as I care about a man's potential as a father. Also, men never know what to do with these very together women who don't want kids.
It's different. Just as I am changing as I grow older, I care less about a man's lifestyle than what this person will teach me and my kids.
One reason my ex and I broke up was that we couldn't imagine raising kids with one another. That's why he and I parted on good terms, and he now has a family of his own.
It's all fate, but I am looking for that man to start a family with. At the same time, I trust that my gut will guide me to the right person. Fortunately, all but two people made the cut in the past three years. Well, those two are unavailable, so I am keeping my eyes out. Just enjoy and let things unfold!
One thing is that they care more about the guy's financial status, where as I care about a man's potential as a father. Also, men never know what to do with these very together women who don't want kids.
It's different. Just as I am changing as I grow older, I care less about a man's lifestyle than what this person will teach me and my kids.
One reason my ex and I broke up was that we couldn't imagine raising kids with one another. That's why he and I parted on good terms, and he now has a family of his own.
It's all fate, but I am looking for that man to start a family with. At the same time, I trust that my gut will guide me to the right person. Fortunately, all but two people made the cut in the past three years. Well, those two are unavailable, so I am keeping my eyes out. Just enjoy and let things unfold!
accepting my fate
Reporting back after Thursday night out: SF party scene is not happening Thursday nights!
Actually, it's about knowing where to go and understanding the crowd. Now that I know where to go Sat nights, it's time to do the same for Thursdays.
On to the today's topic. Every time I try to approach a guy romantically, disaster happens. The thought is to do nothing and wait for a manly man to do something...NOT.
I just have to follow my gut. It's ironic. Because I believe in fate I can be completely uninhibited. Last night, when M and I were tearing it up at Fluid, I sensed that some people wished that they could be just as free. They can, they just have to know that there is very little consequence to following one's gut.
So I am going to follow my gut w/all the guys...until they make me annoyed or mad. Grrrr! :P
All right, back to my happy self again...
Actually, it's about knowing where to go and understanding the crowd. Now that I know where to go Sat nights, it's time to do the same for Thursdays.
On to the today's topic. Every time I try to approach a guy romantically, disaster happens. The thought is to do nothing and wait for a manly man to do something...NOT.
I just have to follow my gut. It's ironic. Because I believe in fate I can be completely uninhibited. Last night, when M and I were tearing it up at Fluid, I sensed that some people wished that they could be just as free. They can, they just have to know that there is very little consequence to following one's gut.
So I am going to follow my gut w/all the guys...until they make me annoyed or mad. Grrrr! :P
All right, back to my happy self again...
Thursday, May 31, 2007
what I seek
Party weekend. Going out tonight, Fri and Sat night.
Board member aka Uncle asked if I can cancel my plans tomorrow night to go to a dinner w/Willie Brown. Uncle promised that I'll learn from Willie Brown. No thanks. I know he is one of the most powerful people, but I am out to celebrate with my friend at this fundraiser.
Going to put some effort to talk to guys. This year is all about changing myself. The dating has been so fun, and I don't see any end to that. Still, time to mix it up. Will try to talk to 2 guys at each event. Never know!
Board member aka Uncle asked if I can cancel my plans tomorrow night to go to a dinner w/Willie Brown. Uncle promised that I'll learn from Willie Brown. No thanks. I know he is one of the most powerful people, but I am out to celebrate with my friend at this fundraiser.
Going to put some effort to talk to guys. This year is all about changing myself. The dating has been so fun, and I don't see any end to that. Still, time to mix it up. Will try to talk to 2 guys at each event. Never know!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
always enough time and money
Took my match profile off the site this morning.
Over time, I have trained myself to get more out of my time and money. Looking at my match experience this past year, it wasn't the best use of my time.
I demand so much of my time and money that if any experience doesn't feel worthy, I move on.
How do I know? What is the litmus test? Again, intuition. Making the right choices should be so easy that you know they are meant to be. If an experience isn't working, then move on. Don't dwell. Holding onto something that is not meant to be just drains our spirits.
Take my second car. From the purchase to the sale, it's been a beautiful and fun experience! Now that the car is taking up more of my time and money given other priorities, it's time to let it go. The buyer is picking it up tomorrow, and I will move on to the next big thing.
Wonder what is that next big thing (or person)?!
Over time, I have trained myself to get more out of my time and money. Looking at my match experience this past year, it wasn't the best use of my time.
I demand so much of my time and money that if any experience doesn't feel worthy, I move on.
How do I know? What is the litmus test? Again, intuition. Making the right choices should be so easy that you know they are meant to be. If an experience isn't working, then move on. Don't dwell. Holding onto something that is not meant to be just drains our spirits.
Take my second car. From the purchase to the sale, it's been a beautiful and fun experience! Now that the car is taking up more of my time and money given other priorities, it's time to let it go. The buyer is picking it up tomorrow, and I will move on to the next big thing.
Wonder what is that next big thing (or person)?!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
yet another dating theory
E asked me today why all these people are single when we all seem to want the same thing. The men just want a nice girl, and the women just want a nice guy...
It's not that simple. I think there are two deterrents.
One is that our criteria have been warped by our unrealistic expectations. The men don't just want a nice girl. She has to be HOT, smart, educated and stylish. The women don't just want a nice guy. He has to be tall, handsome, athletic, funny, and make more money than her.
Hey, I am just summarizing these past few years' research. Personally, no two guys have been alike in my dating history.
The second challenge to finding someone is unwillingness to compromise. My divorce is a big lesson in that I was not ready to compromise with someone else. Maybe our generation has it too easy. We all grow up so cuddled by our families and live so comfortably that we don't know how to deal with adversity.
Unless we have had a very successful relationship in our 20s, most singles in our early 30s are out of practice when it comes to compromising with others. Most of us don't even have roommates because we can afford to have our own places.
Perhaps the number one consequence of busy work lives and zero community involvement is the loss of training ground for how to compromise. The work place is not a substitute for how to deal with people because there is the common goal of profit or getting something done. It is only through settling conflicting goals that we learn how to compromise.
unrealistic expectation + refusal to compromise = not finding someone
I am going to apply this theory on myself. Hopefully the match experience will be a starting point. I did e-mail a couple of people back. Will keep you posted.
It's not that simple. I think there are two deterrents.
One is that our criteria have been warped by our unrealistic expectations. The men don't just want a nice girl. She has to be HOT, smart, educated and stylish. The women don't just want a nice guy. He has to be tall, handsome, athletic, funny, and make more money than her.
Hey, I am just summarizing these past few years' research. Personally, no two guys have been alike in my dating history.
The second challenge to finding someone is unwillingness to compromise. My divorce is a big lesson in that I was not ready to compromise with someone else. Maybe our generation has it too easy. We all grow up so cuddled by our families and live so comfortably that we don't know how to deal with adversity.
Unless we have had a very successful relationship in our 20s, most singles in our early 30s are out of practice when it comes to compromising with others. Most of us don't even have roommates because we can afford to have our own places.
Perhaps the number one consequence of busy work lives and zero community involvement is the loss of training ground for how to compromise. The work place is not a substitute for how to deal with people because there is the common goal of profit or getting something done. It is only through settling conflicting goals that we learn how to compromise.
unrealistic expectation + refusal to compromise = not finding someone
I am going to apply this theory on myself. Hopefully the match experience will be a starting point. I did e-mail a couple of people back. Will keep you posted.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
love is in the air
I really need to get my broken camera issue resolved. Saw this couple hugging right in the middle of Financial District today and wished I had a camera to capture their infatuation for one another. What was even more cute was the way the woman was slightly embarrassed.
They are definitely in that beginning lovey-dovey stage. It got me to think, hey, I have had more of those moments than anyone I know, since I tend to end things when it starts to go downhill but before they crash and burn. Yet I can always jump right back into dating w/o the baggage or the fear.
In that instant, I was glad for my life. Rather than focusing on all the issues of a marriage or a serious relationship, which I did in the past, I can just enjoy those sweet moments. Why be conventional and settle down before I am good and ready? If it's meant to be, that next guy is going to be the one!
They are definitely in that beginning lovey-dovey stage. It got me to think, hey, I have had more of those moments than anyone I know, since I tend to end things when it starts to go downhill but before they crash and burn. Yet I can always jump right back into dating w/o the baggage or the fear.
In that instant, I was glad for my life. Rather than focusing on all the issues of a marriage or a serious relationship, which I did in the past, I can just enjoy those sweet moments. Why be conventional and settle down before I am good and ready? If it's meant to be, that next guy is going to be the one!
the best manager...
...is not always the nicest. That person is the most respected. Sometimes a manager has to make difficult choices for the good of the team.
After hearing that advice at a b-school forum two nights ago, I put theory to practice.
I urged my General Manager not to be nice but to be fair in a matter. He is so nice that he always end up doing more work or put the company at risk.
I like to think that I am a nice person, but I also want to do the right thing.
Sometimes being right requires disappointing people who were expecting too much. Hey, that's what dating is all about.
:D
After hearing that advice at a b-school forum two nights ago, I put theory to practice.
I urged my General Manager not to be nice but to be fair in a matter. He is so nice that he always end up doing more work or put the company at risk.
I like to think that I am a nice person, but I also want to do the right thing.
Sometimes being right requires disappointing people who were expecting too much. Hey, that's what dating is all about.
:D
Monday, May 21, 2007
from my match profile - active again
Welcome! You are now entering the sphere where good things happen.
This is a place where laughter is the universal language, and everyone knows just what to do upon arrival. Life is easy here because this is where preparation meets opportunity.
Success happens much more than failure because each person is confident in following intuition. Everyone constantly learns in order to make wiser choices.
The goal is that perfect balance of work, play and relationships. All three requires diligence, faith and creativity. Other key values include friendship, fun and upmost respect for one another.
What you will not find here: unrealistic expectations and fear. Expectations oppose the values of acceptance and understanding. Fear negates communications. Rather than wanting what is not there and being afraid of what is true, simply enjoy the moment and the answers will reveal themselves.
Good luck. May you find what you seek.
This is a place where laughter is the universal language, and everyone knows just what to do upon arrival. Life is easy here because this is where preparation meets opportunity.
Success happens much more than failure because each person is confident in following intuition. Everyone constantly learns in order to make wiser choices.
The goal is that perfect balance of work, play and relationships. All three requires diligence, faith and creativity. Other key values include friendship, fun and upmost respect for one another.
What you will not find here: unrealistic expectations and fear. Expectations oppose the values of acceptance and understanding. Fear negates communications. Rather than wanting what is not there and being afraid of what is true, simply enjoy the moment and the answers will reveal themselves.
Good luck. May you find what you seek.
silicon valley syndrom
Carpooled with friends down to the hike Sunday, and on the way back, we talked about how the Valley's culture is different.
It's driven, and that's a turn-off.
Maybe it's the fact that the young people are relatively isolated from families and people in other age groups. The way people get to know one another is to show off their latest gadgets and to list their professional and financial accomplishments.
Even the restaurant owner had a conversation with us about someone's new Blackjack.
Where are the people into intrinsic things like culture and acceptance?
It's driven, and that's a turn-off.
Maybe it's the fact that the young people are relatively isolated from families and people in other age groups. The way people get to know one another is to show off their latest gadgets and to list their professional and financial accomplishments.
Even the restaurant owner had a conversation with us about someone's new Blackjack.
Where are the people into intrinsic things like culture and acceptance?
the day that restored me
After 5 hours of hiking through the "moderate" Pinnacles trail, I was exhausted but also completely clear about life again. Answered many of my own questions too.
Definitely need to hike more before the Peru trip.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
new journey
Between the breakup and the potential job offer, I didn't get sick but was feeling down. I know everything is meant to be, but I need the signs to convince me.
And then they appeared.
First, found buyers for my car. It's not all finalized, but it's as good as done. By pricing the car fair, it was an easy sell. Yet another female driver who is going to baby the car.
Second, discovered the perfect pair of nightstand lamps at a consignment shop. Been looking for over a year. For those who know me, that's perfection - recycle, save money, and not compromise on style.
Then, met someone who made me understood the breakup. No, it's not another guy.
In fact, it was a sweet woman. She reminded me of what being feminine is all about, and what's been missing in me lately - humility.
Being in her presence lifted me so much that I know I have a while to go before settling down.
Back to perfecting the practice of being a lady.
And then they appeared.
First, found buyers for my car. It's not all finalized, but it's as good as done. By pricing the car fair, it was an easy sell. Yet another female driver who is going to baby the car.
Second, discovered the perfect pair of nightstand lamps at a consignment shop. Been looking for over a year. For those who know me, that's perfection - recycle, save money, and not compromise on style.
Then, met someone who made me understood the breakup. No, it's not another guy.
In fact, it was a sweet woman. She reminded me of what being feminine is all about, and what's been missing in me lately - humility.
Being in her presence lifted me so much that I know I have a while to go before settling down.
Back to perfecting the practice of being a lady.
Friday, May 18, 2007
cheers
My monthly wine tasting ended up at District last night. I was all ready to scope out the men, except there were only two Asian guys the whole night outside of my three guy friends. Is Mission Bay the new Marina?!
Was explaining to my friend how this time around, I am going to go up to interesting men and talk to them. In the middle of that speech, the first Asian guy finished his drink and left. doh.
By the time M arrived, I was buzzed enough, and we tried to approach Asian guy number two. He appeared to be picking up a white chick, unsuccessfully. Felt bad because some how he went from standing behind her to getting her seat, and she was trying to leave. M & I went for a closer look, and I feel bad for saying this, but we dismissed him b/c we were not impressed by the woman.
Well, I had fun hanging out with my friends. It was a good group, 7 of us. The wine was excellent, and the food was better than most wine places. Just don't know if I like the crowd. I must have turned into one of these snobs. Must be diverse to impress me??
Was explaining to my friend how this time around, I am going to go up to interesting men and talk to them. In the middle of that speech, the first Asian guy finished his drink and left. doh.
By the time M arrived, I was buzzed enough, and we tried to approach Asian guy number two. He appeared to be picking up a white chick, unsuccessfully. Felt bad because some how he went from standing behind her to getting her seat, and she was trying to leave. M & I went for a closer look, and I feel bad for saying this, but we dismissed him b/c we were not impressed by the woman.
Well, I had fun hanging out with my friends. It was a good group, 7 of us. The wine was excellent, and the food was better than most wine places. Just don't know if I like the crowd. I must have turned into one of these snobs. Must be diverse to impress me??
Thursday, May 17, 2007
body, mind, spirit
Had my second private salsa lesson, and it was even better than the first. A different instructor, and we danced for a whole hour.
Instructional dancing is so unfamiliar. What? The guy is going to tell me what to do?! The first few times in open sessions were frustrating. Even the group lessons were discouraging.
Then, my friend A suggested private lessons. He has been dancing at studios for a couple of years and love it. He was right.
It's all about slowing everything down and watching for the signals.
Learning salsa got me to think about how I behave in life. I am so intuitive that I don't give much thought to the rules. Yet, knowing the rules (the dance moves) gives me more options in responding to the unexpected (the partner's signals). Only by easily conquering the everyday obstacles will I be able to focus on what's truly important - spiritual growth.
This next phase of life is all about learning the rules and arming myself with even more expertise in many areas...
Instructional dancing is so unfamiliar. What? The guy is going to tell me what to do?! The first few times in open sessions were frustrating. Even the group lessons were discouraging.
Then, my friend A suggested private lessons. He has been dancing at studios for a couple of years and love it. He was right.
It's all about slowing everything down and watching for the signals.
Learning salsa got me to think about how I behave in life. I am so intuitive that I don't give much thought to the rules. Yet, knowing the rules (the dance moves) gives me more options in responding to the unexpected (the partner's signals). Only by easily conquering the everyday obstacles will I be able to focus on what's truly important - spiritual growth.
This next phase of life is all about learning the rules and arming myself with even more expertise in many areas...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
saying goodbye to my baby
1998 BMW Z3 Manual-Great Condition with only 70k miles
Always garaged. Rarely driven in the rain. It is in great condition, with regular 3K oil change and all recommended services. Services were done by Auto Repair Center, Noe Valley Auto and Advanced Auto Repair, all in the City. The past year services included all new tires, 60K service.
This is a 4-cylinder car which gets about 27 miles per gallon. Handles perfectly. It comes with all the extras: alarm, heated seats, chrome upgrade package, mesh wind blocker, CD changer and premium speakers. I'll also include the converter to play music with any mp3 player/iPod.
Other specs:
* Model year 1998
* 1.9 4-cylinder engine
* 70k miles
* 5-speed manual transmission
* Clean title
* Clean carfax
* No accidents
Monday, May 14, 2007
the things I am learning
“Volatile Organic Compounds” is defined as any chemical compound based on carbon chains or rings (and also containing hydrogen) with vapor pressure greater than 2mm of mercury (0.27 kPa) at 25° C, including without limitation industrial solvents, fuel oxygenates, by-products produced by chlorination of water treatment, and components of petroleum fuels, hydraulic fluids, paint thinners and dry cleaning agents. Volatile Organic Compounds specifically includes without limitation perchloroethylene (also commonly referred to as perchloroethene, tetrachloroethylene, tetrachloroethene, “PERC” or “PCE”), trichloroethylene (also commonly referred to as trichloroethene or “TCE”), trichloroethane (also commonly referred to as “TCA”) and vinyl chloride.
Slowly, I am being changed by work, and I welcome it. Just as all the relationships in my life has directed me to who I am meant to be, my professional life has always shaped me. Am excited about what's next. Second-round of interview coming up!
Slowly, I am being changed by work, and I welcome it. Just as all the relationships in my life has directed me to who I am meant to be, my professional life has always shaped me. Am excited about what's next. Second-round of interview coming up!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
ka-ching!
Cultivating friendships is the best rewards program.
While I was going through the ups and downs of this last little dating episode, my friends were there to help me stay balanced and sane.
By always making time for my friends, I have been able to draw upon their support when it matters the most.
I am past the point in my life where I need lots of advice. Instead, I just need people who know how to have a good time without any drama. In the last two days, I managed to go to happy hour, dinner w/girlfriend, Sat breakfast at the best bakery in the Mission, rollerblading on the Embarcadero, and my favorite, dancing tonight. All these friends just stepped in to have some fun with me.
Wait, that's life every week! So, it goes to show, that by knowing my priorities and maintaining the perfect balance, life moves along happily, man or no man. Yes, life would be even better with a partner, but that day will be here soon enough.
For now, I am one happy chica! Wheeeee!
While I was going through the ups and downs of this last little dating episode, my friends were there to help me stay balanced and sane.
By always making time for my friends, I have been able to draw upon their support when it matters the most.
I am past the point in my life where I need lots of advice. Instead, I just need people who know how to have a good time without any drama. In the last two days, I managed to go to happy hour, dinner w/girlfriend, Sat breakfast at the best bakery in the Mission, rollerblading on the Embarcadero, and my favorite, dancing tonight. All these friends just stepped in to have some fun with me.
Wait, that's life every week! So, it goes to show, that by knowing my priorities and maintaining the perfect balance, life moves along happily, man or no man. Yes, life would be even better with a partner, but that day will be here soon enough.
For now, I am one happy chica! Wheeeee!
Friday, May 11, 2007
being very single, again...
Even though I had a gut feeling to call it off with the latest guy, I stuck it out on the advice of several close friends. True, rarely does someone share my lifestyle and can be so much fun.
After one too many canceled dates, it's over.
As much as I want to be understanding, I am just beyond waiting for these boys to become men. Instead of making excuses and expect me to be understanding, why not just admit that you are not up to par?
Is it my fault that I am ready to settle down while you are still so juvenile?
True, I detest elitism, but when it comes to finding the perfect mate, I cannot help but be picky. If I am going to ask that my children emulate this man, shouldn't he be the most perfect human being that I connect with?
The irony. The more I am single, the more I have time and resources to perfect myself, while most of the men (and women) are wasting time stressed out about not having someone. Com'on. Come carrying me off to the sunset before I bench my own weight already! btw, I'm at 70% of my body weight on the bench.
Okay, hitting the gym. These staying-in Friday and Saturday nights are doing wonders for my fitness!!
Lastly, this is yet another example of risk everything and GAIN everything. The more I opened my heart, the more I was able to see the other person clearly. By letting go of myself and being completely attuned to him, I see how it's not meant to be. Feel blessed to move on w/o getting hurt, again. Peace.
After one too many canceled dates, it's over.
As much as I want to be understanding, I am just beyond waiting for these boys to become men. Instead of making excuses and expect me to be understanding, why not just admit that you are not up to par?
Is it my fault that I am ready to settle down while you are still so juvenile?
True, I detest elitism, but when it comes to finding the perfect mate, I cannot help but be picky. If I am going to ask that my children emulate this man, shouldn't he be the most perfect human being that I connect with?
The irony. The more I am single, the more I have time and resources to perfect myself, while most of the men (and women) are wasting time stressed out about not having someone. Com'on. Come carrying me off to the sunset before I bench my own weight already! btw, I'm at 70% of my body weight on the bench.
Okay, hitting the gym. These staying-in Friday and Saturday nights are doing wonders for my fitness!!
Lastly, this is yet another example of risk everything and GAIN everything. The more I opened my heart, the more I was able to see the other person clearly. By letting go of myself and being completely attuned to him, I see how it's not meant to be. Feel blessed to move on w/o getting hurt, again. Peace.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
still the mind
Seven of my library books arrived this week. Any CA resident can reserve and check books out from SF library system. I usually find books on Amazon and "order" through the library. The library delivers it right to the closest branch.
Dived right into the Dalai Lama's Ethics for the New Millennium. A refreshing change from all the LEED reading.
It occurred to me that I had forgotten to make time for myself in the last few months. It's been so much planning and doing that I haven't been still. I love the frenzy pace, but it's time to change and be still. Just as I am switching from snow sports to summer activities, it's time to reassess activities and people.
Wonder what's next...
Dived right into the Dalai Lama's Ethics for the New Millennium. A refreshing change from all the LEED reading.
It occurred to me that I had forgotten to make time for myself in the last few months. It's been so much planning and doing that I haven't been still. I love the frenzy pace, but it's time to change and be still. Just as I am switching from snow sports to summer activities, it's time to reassess activities and people.
Wonder what's next...
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
round one concluded
The interview was fine. I have the personality and the vision to fit in the firm. Ended up talking about how to make the land use legal business better.
Still, whether I can actually do the research and writing is on everyone's mind, including mine.
Let's see if I make it to the second round.
The irony was that my tentative date w/M was canceled b/c he worked late. That might be me soon enough...
Still, whether I can actually do the research and writing is on everyone's mind, including mine.
Let's see if I make it to the second round.
The irony was that my tentative date w/M was canceled b/c he worked late. That might be me soon enough...
Monday, May 07, 2007
priorities
I just turned down 2 tickets to the Sharks game tonight, and this just might be their last game this season. They are down 3-2 in the playoffs against the Detroit Red Wings.
That's how much the interview tomorrow means to me.
Sorry G, I said that I would take you...
That's how much the interview tomorrow means to me.
Sorry G, I said that I would take you...
Thursday, May 03, 2007
slowing down
Just left a message for a friend to back off of a mini-triathlon race. Although I believe in taking every opportunity that presents itself, it's time to slow down. Time to still the mind and grow the soul.
I finally had enough fun and want to take work and romance to the next level. That means going outside of my comfort zone.
The possibility of career change doesn't daunt me, but the idea of compromising with a man is scaring me to death. If it wasn't for C, I could have been single again tonight. It's tough to date someone who is so busy. Oh, I see...
All along, C & E are the two friends who have been supportive of the new guy. Why? I'll find out. Still 3 more dates planned. Got to give it to the guy - we usually end a date by planning another date, or he calls to make one.
I am always in such a rush that this take-it-slow thing is crazy. Good kind of crazy. It's like I am not going to know for sure if it's going work out until it works out. hehe. Will have to wait and see.
Before the slow down, one more trip to LA. Here we go!
I finally had enough fun and want to take work and romance to the next level. That means going outside of my comfort zone.
The possibility of career change doesn't daunt me, but the idea of compromising with a man is scaring me to death. If it wasn't for C, I could have been single again tonight. It's tough to date someone who is so busy. Oh, I see...
All along, C & E are the two friends who have been supportive of the new guy. Why? I'll find out. Still 3 more dates planned. Got to give it to the guy - we usually end a date by planning another date, or he calls to make one.
I am always in such a rush that this take-it-slow thing is crazy. Good kind of crazy. It's like I am not going to know for sure if it's going work out until it works out. hehe. Will have to wait and see.
Before the slow down, one more trip to LA. Here we go!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
who i am
I used to think that I am so unique; I am the construct of my own creativity and efforts.
sort of...
Watching a good movie at the film festival tonight, and I see that I am an extension of my parents and quite proud of it.
For a long time, my only fear in life is that I will never be as great as my parents.
Tonight, I feel closer to stepping in their shoes. So much of who I am is them: my love of cities, the way I collect friends, and my joy. My parents have taught me so much about how to be a good person that I have hope that I will do great things.
Because the number one gift that my parents give me is the freedom to be myself.
sort of...
Watching a good movie at the film festival tonight, and I see that I am an extension of my parents and quite proud of it.
For a long time, my only fear in life is that I will never be as great as my parents.
Tonight, I feel closer to stepping in their shoes. So much of who I am is them: my love of cities, the way I collect friends, and my joy. My parents have taught me so much about how to be a good person that I have hope that I will do great things.
Because the number one gift that my parents give me is the freedom to be myself.
Monday, April 30, 2007
ready, set...
I am on a natural high from the best weekend I have ever had. Gave a site tour for work, watched good movies at the film festival, spent time with family, friends and the new guy. Found time for myself in the kitchen, at the gym and watched some playoff games.
So now I am going to rock the boat by changing jobs? Why change the status quo when life is perfect right now?
Because it's time to take career to the next level. Am I a fool for wanting so much more than what I have? I don’t know, but what I do know is that the perfection in my life outside of work makes me want to improve my career.
Many people are cautioning me about the potential stress of a legal career. It’s too soon to have worries. In fact, right now, I am just trying to land interviews and get offers to see if I am realistic in my desire to return to the practice of law.
If the legal profession is not ready for someone like me, then I will have to reassess. Until then, I am planning and living in the moment.
So now I am going to rock the boat by changing jobs? Why change the status quo when life is perfect right now?
Because it's time to take career to the next level. Am I a fool for wanting so much more than what I have? I don’t know, but what I do know is that the perfection in my life outside of work makes me want to improve my career.
Many people are cautioning me about the potential stress of a legal career. It’s too soon to have worries. In fact, right now, I am just trying to land interviews and get offers to see if I am realistic in my desire to return to the practice of law.
If the legal profession is not ready for someone like me, then I will have to reassess. Until then, I am planning and living in the moment.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
for now, I am joyous
"I don't care about who you were, I just want to get to know you now." Ugly Betty
Friday, April 27, 2007
thirst for knowledge
Work is getting eaiser in part because I finally made up my mind about leaving. My company has several very unique projects, but even awesome projects cannot make up for a sense of belonging.
Going back to the law is a way to find kindred spirits.
I do miss working in a law environment because of the kind of conversations one has with very analytical minds. Some of my closest friends practice law, and I appreciate their perspectives.
It's also about having fun with my work. I've hit a plateau in my career; I need more expertise to take it to the next level.
True, I'll work more hours, but the focus will allow me to do more. Why not take advantage of this time to grow, so the time comes to walk away, I'll have the option to scale back?
One step at a time. Let's see where the interviews take me...
Going back to the law is a way to find kindred spirits.
I do miss working in a law environment because of the kind of conversations one has with very analytical minds. Some of my closest friends practice law, and I appreciate their perspectives.
It's also about having fun with my work. I've hit a plateau in my career; I need more expertise to take it to the next level.
True, I'll work more hours, but the focus will allow me to do more. Why not take advantage of this time to grow, so the time comes to walk away, I'll have the option to scale back?
One step at a time. Let's see where the interviews take me...
Thursday, April 26, 2007
the future is here
Went to a San Mateo County business community event yesterday. Cool speech by former State Controller Steve Westly regarding the future of San Mateo County should be green technology. My company is trying to house the green tech in its mega commercial development.
Unfortunately, looking around the room, I realized that there is a disconnect between the speaker and the audience. When Westly put up a picture of Tesla and asked how many people know what it was, I was one of a handful in a room of over 200 people who can relate to the excitement for this all-electric sports car that can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. (Westly's new venture capital company invests in Tesla.)
Come on people!!
I have always been biased against San Mateo County b/c this is the community that voted against BART in the 70s. The original proposal for BART was to loop around the bay, but people who lived in the ritzy cities of San Mateo County feared that the poor from other communities would interrupt their seclusion. Thus, the BART proposal was vetoed, and now we have this incomplete system that still encourages driving.
History aside, I trust that people in San Mateo County may be motivated by one thing - future for their children. It's a problem when most of the kids who grow up in San Mateo County cannot find a job locally or afford to live near their parents.
The future is now. It's up to everyone to tackle the civic problems of the present, and I am truly lucky that my work is my passion. I want to make the world better now, so we aren't sitting 20 years from now with the same mistake that SF made - making it the only city in California losing the population of children. No matter how wonderful the weather, if the cost of living, availability of jobs and the quality of life aren't here, then CA will not be so golden.
Unfortunately, looking around the room, I realized that there is a disconnect between the speaker and the audience. When Westly put up a picture of Tesla and asked how many people know what it was, I was one of a handful in a room of over 200 people who can relate to the excitement for this all-electric sports car that can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. (Westly's new venture capital company invests in Tesla.)
Come on people!!
I have always been biased against San Mateo County b/c this is the community that voted against BART in the 70s. The original proposal for BART was to loop around the bay, but people who lived in the ritzy cities of San Mateo County feared that the poor from other communities would interrupt their seclusion. Thus, the BART proposal was vetoed, and now we have this incomplete system that still encourages driving.
History aside, I trust that people in San Mateo County may be motivated by one thing - future for their children. It's a problem when most of the kids who grow up in San Mateo County cannot find a job locally or afford to live near their parents.
The future is now. It's up to everyone to tackle the civic problems of the present, and I am truly lucky that my work is my passion. I want to make the world better now, so we aren't sitting 20 years from now with the same mistake that SF made - making it the only city in California losing the population of children. No matter how wonderful the weather, if the cost of living, availability of jobs and the quality of life aren't here, then CA will not be so golden.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
just choices, no big deal
A friend of mine is considering whether to locate to a different city to take a new job and a big pay cut.
My rule of thumb on decisions is something I learned from a very interesting woman: Very rarely, do people look back and wished that they did not do something. Most people wish that they had taken opportunities to change their lives.
That golden rule has served me well. That's how I managed to take five out-of-state trips from Jan to mid-April this year! Different people were traveling to interesting places and asked me to go along. Saw so many new places for the first time, and with wonderful company too!
Taking chances also allowed me to be realistic about dating and love. I don't expect the world, but I do know quickly when it's not going to work. I have grown and changed into who I am meant to be in part b/c of the men in my life, and that makes the ups and downs all worth it.
Now, there are so many things I still want to do. Some of the items on my list: salsa dancing, motorcycle license, DJ school, get better at golf, buy another sports car (maybe the Tesla?!), and maybe have kids at some point. ;)
I don't want to waste time thinking too much about choices. Sure, big decisions like whether to go back to law could change me, but I rarely look back and wondered what if. I am always happy to be where I am and change if I want something different.
So D, whatever you decide, there is no "wrong" answer. Follow your gut.
My rule of thumb on decisions is something I learned from a very interesting woman: Very rarely, do people look back and wished that they did not do something. Most people wish that they had taken opportunities to change their lives.
That golden rule has served me well. That's how I managed to take five out-of-state trips from Jan to mid-April this year! Different people were traveling to interesting places and asked me to go along. Saw so many new places for the first time, and with wonderful company too!
Taking chances also allowed me to be realistic about dating and love. I don't expect the world, but I do know quickly when it's not going to work. I have grown and changed into who I am meant to be in part b/c of the men in my life, and that makes the ups and downs all worth it.
Now, there are so many things I still want to do. Some of the items on my list: salsa dancing, motorcycle license, DJ school, get better at golf, buy another sports car (maybe the Tesla?!), and maybe have kids at some point. ;)
I don't want to waste time thinking too much about choices. Sure, big decisions like whether to go back to law could change me, but I rarely look back and wondered what if. I am always happy to be where I am and change if I want something different.
So D, whatever you decide, there is no "wrong" answer. Follow your gut.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
stay tuned
A few friends e-mailed after the 4/22 post. They wondered if the intuition is more of an emotional response rather than a logical conclusion. It's so rare for me to meet someone who is on the same wave length that maybe I should give the guy a second chance?
True, maybe I am not the perfect fit for this guy, but a lot can change in the next few months.
He did call to plan the next date, and we also have tickets to the upcoming film festival.
If I am adventurous enough to want to get to know this guy, why not see where things go for a while? It's so hard for me to relinguish control, yet one of the main reasons why I like this guy so much is his ability to take control.
The interesting thing is that two friends are already urging to call it quits, yet they are the friends who are the most risk-adverse. I am grateful that some others are suggesting that I take a chance, because I would give the same advice. I know too well that big rewards awaits those who risk.
True, maybe I am not the perfect fit for this guy, but a lot can change in the next few months.
He did call to plan the next date, and we also have tickets to the upcoming film festival.
If I am adventurous enough to want to get to know this guy, why not see where things go for a while? It's so hard for me to relinguish control, yet one of the main reasons why I like this guy so much is his ability to take control.
The interesting thing is that two friends are already urging to call it quits, yet they are the friends who are the most risk-adverse. I am grateful that some others are suggesting that I take a chance, because I would give the same advice. I know too well that big rewards awaits those who risk.
Monday, April 23, 2007
small victory
Got an interview with a law firm for the second week of May. Interviewed with this firm when I first got out of law school. It would be a land use attorney position. Dream job.
Lots to do: dig out writing sample, research on partners and associates.
No matter what happens, I am glad for the opportunity. Funny how the last time I interviewed there, so much was riding on it. Now, it's more a chance to re-enter the practice of law.
Lots to do: dig out writing sample, research on partners and associates.
No matter what happens, I am glad for the opportunity. Funny how the last time I interviewed there, so much was riding on it. Now, it's more a chance to re-enter the practice of law.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
the only drawback to intuition...
...is that when things are over with a potential guy, I cannot turn it back.
Just made a date with the latest guy, but immediately after, I knew it was over. I cannot explain it, but during the conversation, I made a prediction that he will meet someone soon. That person will not be me.
This is the worst part about gut; the good comes with the bad.
Now I just have to find the time to break it off. Again.
Just made a date with the latest guy, but immediately after, I knew it was over. I cannot explain it, but during the conversation, I made a prediction that he will meet someone soon. That person will not be me.
This is the worst part about gut; the good comes with the bad.
Now I just have to find the time to break it off. Again.
what did you do for earth day?
Went to Home Depot to look at paint today. They happen to gave out free energy efficient bulb. I ended up buying 2 sets of 4 energy efficient flood bulbs. Just put them in. Wow, what a difference. Most of the old bulbs were just giving out heat anyways. 14 watt bulbs replace the 65w ones. That's a cumulative saving of 408w per hour. If I use the bulbs one hour a day, that's 148,920w of savings a year! Whoa.
Just a thought - Happy Earth Day.
Just a thought - Happy Earth Day.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
letting go
Having a good dating experience right now b/c I finally learned how to not expect anything. Just enjoying the experience is wonderful; it's rare to meet someone at the same place in life.
Why can't I do the same with career? If I am meant to be at this point, why feel some frustration?
Time to change my attitude and expectations about work.
Hum...
Why can't I do the same with career? If I am meant to be at this point, why feel some frustration?
Time to change my attitude and expectations about work.
Hum...
Friday, April 20, 2007
priorities
A happy hour with one girlfriend tonight is turning into a 5-women get-together. Psyched that I still have lots of female friends to meet up with on a regular basis. Two of the women tonight are married, but they are both going to be in downtown right after work.
Should be interesting, as we are going to one of those bars that gets packed on Fri nights.
Am suppose to go on a date after that, but I am not even sure when exactly. For the first time, I am letting someone else take care of the details.
This week was just all girlfriends. Monday was dinner w/one, Tuesday was study group with another, and Wed was watching hockey w/two more female fans. And I worked late Thurs. I will make time for the right guy, but he'll have to find his way onto my calendar.
I do want to settle down, but I can have it all. It's about finding someone who is just as independent.
Should be interesting, as we are going to one of those bars that gets packed on Fri nights.
Am suppose to go on a date after that, but I am not even sure when exactly. For the first time, I am letting someone else take care of the details.
This week was just all girlfriends. Monday was dinner w/one, Tuesday was study group with another, and Wed was watching hockey w/two more female fans. And I worked late Thurs. I will make time for the right guy, but he'll have to find his way onto my calendar.
I do want to settle down, but I can have it all. It's about finding someone who is just as independent.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
at crossroads
Considering career change again.
Now that I am clear about my lifestyle, it's time to take the work to the next level. Want to have more challenge, respect and control.
This complete satisfaction with my personal life makes me wonder about the potential in my professional career. Can I take it to the next level just as I have with my life outside work?
Now that I am clear about my lifestyle, it's time to take the work to the next level. Want to have more challenge, respect and control.
This complete satisfaction with my personal life makes me wonder about the potential in my professional career. Can I take it to the next level just as I have with my life outside work?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
rub it in, if you must
Recently, I notice that people announce their upcoming activities as a sign of importance, especially for work.
For instance, a colleague mentioned 4 times this morning that he has an important lunch with an industry heavy weight today.
At first, I thought it was funny that he kept talking about this lunch. Then, I realized that it was in the tone of "Important me going to lunch, and you, not important, not going to lunch."
I almost LOL because I actually went to a very leisurely lunch today with a friend of mine. The idea of a working lunch may be overrated b/c...it's work.
For instance, a colleague mentioned 4 times this morning that he has an important lunch with an industry heavy weight today.
At first, I thought it was funny that he kept talking about this lunch. Then, I realized that it was in the tone of "Important me going to lunch, and you, not important, not going to lunch."
I almost LOL because I actually went to a very leisurely lunch today with a friend of mine. The idea of a working lunch may be overrated b/c...it's work.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
ability
An unexpected result for all the traveling and having fun in the last 6 months - a drive for a stellar career.
Not only do I want to always be able to finance a packed personal life, I want my work to reflect my energetic personality.
I like my work right now, but I want to love it. Never knew this is what aiming high is all about.
Don't know if all the ups and downs at work created this new sense of self, but I just know that there is untapped potential with career.
Started to apply to jobs and side gigs. No longer limited to a traditional path, but it'll also take like-minds to take that chance with me.
Not only do I want to always be able to finance a packed personal life, I want my work to reflect my energetic personality.
I like my work right now, but I want to love it. Never knew this is what aiming high is all about.
Don't know if all the ups and downs at work created this new sense of self, but I just know that there is untapped potential with career.
Started to apply to jobs and side gigs. No longer limited to a traditional path, but it'll also take like-minds to take that chance with me.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
future of SF
Took a walking tour yesterday of downtown SF with SPUR, the planning organization in town.
It's amazing what's coming up for the downtown area.
You can create your own walking tour with this website of San Francisco development projects.
It's amazing what's coming up for the downtown area.
You can create your own walking tour with this website of San Francisco development projects.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
get your tickets
In the past, I've created evites and sent e-mails to have some company at film festivals. This time around, I am just going to put the link here in case anyone is interested:
San Francisco International Film Festival
Got tickets for The Unforeseen 4/27, All in This Tea 4/28, Hana 5/2, Reprise 5/6 and Ab Lib Night 5/7.
Get your tickets early. The easiest is to order online for will call. I like to go in person to the kabuki or embarcadero and have them in my hand.
Tip - read through the special categories, like spotlight to see some of the highlights already picked out by the festival. Or, pick films from a particular place that you want to visit. Indie films are always current on in a particular region/city/country.
San Francisco International Film Festival
Got tickets for The Unforeseen 4/27, All in This Tea 4/28, Hana 5/2, Reprise 5/6 and Ab Lib Night 5/7.
Get your tickets early. The easiest is to order online for will call. I like to go in person to the kabuki or embarcadero and have them in my hand.
Tip - read through the special categories, like spotlight to see some of the highlights already picked out by the festival. Or, pick films from a particular place that you want to visit. Indie films are always current on in a particular region/city/country.
Monday, April 09, 2007
testing the limit
2007 is rocking.
6 trips out of town so far, and I have DC and LA lined up in the next month. Peru in July and Miami in Sept! Hosted 9 overnight guests so far, and there will be plenty more visitors.
This is all in the name of fun.
All the going away had an effect. My routine fun things in town weren't as important. I missed a lot of dancing and local events like big films at the recent film festival.
Got me to think about directing all my extra energy into my career. Maybe I can handle a legal career after all? Just a thought as I think about how I am going to support my lifestyle.
6 trips out of town so far, and I have DC and LA lined up in the next month. Peru in July and Miami in Sept! Hosted 9 overnight guests so far, and there will be plenty more visitors.
This is all in the name of fun.
All the going away had an effect. My routine fun things in town weren't as important. I missed a lot of dancing and local events like big films at the recent film festival.
Got me to think about directing all my extra energy into my career. Maybe I can handle a legal career after all? Just a thought as I think about how I am going to support my lifestyle.
Friday, April 06, 2007
live for the weekend
Just made a breakfast get-together with my friend E at 8am Sat morning.
I love the weekends b/c it's a true reflection of who I am.
After breakfast, am going to the south bay for coffee at 11 and the family for lunch after. Have dinner plans with another friend and then going to do my favorite thing - dancing at 10. My old dancing partner is finally free for a night out, and I am ready to boogie. Plus, might also check out a club near me that supposedly has great house music.
Sunday will be low key. Just a brunch and maybe movie and more family time. Might go to salsa class Sun night, since another friend is going.
I know that this crazy single period of my life will not last forever, so I want to take advantage of the opportunities. I feel lucky that life is so full right now. There will be a time to settle down, but not now.
Now if I can only figure out when to make time for the new guy...
I love the weekends b/c it's a true reflection of who I am.
After breakfast, am going to the south bay for coffee at 11 and the family for lunch after. Have dinner plans with another friend and then going to do my favorite thing - dancing at 10. My old dancing partner is finally free for a night out, and I am ready to boogie. Plus, might also check out a club near me that supposedly has great house music.
Sunday will be low key. Just a brunch and maybe movie and more family time. Might go to salsa class Sun night, since another friend is going.
I know that this crazy single period of my life will not last forever, so I want to take advantage of the opportunities. I feel lucky that life is so full right now. There will be a time to settle down, but not now.
Now if I can only figure out when to make time for the new guy...
Thursday, April 05, 2007
bliss
Had lunch with a friend today. Asked how her relationship is going. She said just fine. There was a knowing smile that came with that "fine".
I always know when my friends are in a happy relationship. It's when they have very little to report. It's when they are almost quiet about how good it is. It's when they have that knowing smile because they are loved.
Sigh. Lucky Ducky (as my friend M from Rio says).
I don't know if I will experience that ever again, but I am hopeful. Bliss may be a ways off. It may just be around the corner. I just know that my happiness is all about being myself right now.
I always know when my friends are in a happy relationship. It's when they have very little to report. It's when they are almost quiet about how good it is. It's when they have that knowing smile because they are loved.
Sigh. Lucky Ducky (as my friend M from Rio says).
I don't know if I will experience that ever again, but I am hopeful. Bliss may be a ways off. It may just be around the corner. I just know that my happiness is all about being myself right now.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
focus
Started a new study group with a couple of women I met in the real estate business. They are both project managers at real estate development companies. What I thought I would be doing upon joining the company a year ago but not what I am doing at all.
It's nice to have the support on the career front, since most of my friends from school are doing other things.
Tempted at times to go back to law, because it's the one place where I do get some respect. Love my lifestyle too much though.
Like everything else, each step of my journey has led me to good people. Starting to truly believe that even my career ups and downs have their purposes.
It's nice to have the support on the career front, since most of my friends from school are doing other things.
Tempted at times to go back to law, because it's the one place where I do get some respect. Love my lifestyle too much though.
Like everything else, each step of my journey has led me to good people. Starting to truly believe that even my career ups and downs have their purposes.
the best part...
about dating is this initial period, when all one can do is flirt.
There is a certain freedom b/c if it ends now, no one gets hurt.
Ironic that in the past, I just want to get to the actual relationship. Now I just want to prolong the fun.
Yes, it would be great to have that one person who I can count on, but I already have that person, me. Plus all my family and friends. Yes, it would be wonderful to start a family with someone, but that'll happen in due time. I've got lots of time.
I still hope that this next person will be the one to settle down with. If not, at least there will be lots of fun.
There is a certain freedom b/c if it ends now, no one gets hurt.
Ironic that in the past, I just want to get to the actual relationship. Now I just want to prolong the fun.
Yes, it would be great to have that one person who I can count on, but I already have that person, me. Plus all my family and friends. Yes, it would be wonderful to start a family with someone, but that'll happen in due time. I've got lots of time.
I still hope that this next person will be the one to settle down with. If not, at least there will be lots of fun.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
mission v. destiny
Read B. Obama's book "Dreams from My Father" over the weekend. Grateful that I have enough time to read a book cover to cover in a short time.
It was a glimpse into someone who is relatively obscure on the political scene. It also got me to think about destiny. Barack Obama is, like the rest of us, just a culmination of his experiences. Those experiences ultimately led him to his candidacy.
Perhaps one reason I am still trying to figure out how to live in Argentina for a year or two is to find my mission. I am grateful for my life and all the happiness. I often feel as if I am the luckiest person alive.
Now, it's time to see where else I can make a difference.
It was a glimpse into someone who is relatively obscure on the political scene. It also got me to think about destiny. Barack Obama is, like the rest of us, just a culmination of his experiences. Those experiences ultimately led him to his candidacy.
Perhaps one reason I am still trying to figure out how to live in Argentina for a year or two is to find my mission. I am grateful for my life and all the happiness. I often feel as if I am the luckiest person alive.
Now, it's time to see where else I can make a difference.
Monday, April 02, 2007
why car?
Am organizing a trip with 3 girlfriends in another city. We are e-mailing about transportation today. Seems like some in the group defaults to renting a car. Why?
I'm at a point in my life where I am trying to not drive as much as possible.
Take work. Am using the free shuttle at my work a couple of times a week and lobbying for a car share company to designate a car at my building's parking lot. Then I don't have to drive at all.
Take errands. Try to walk to as many things as possible or order things online.
Even for eating out. I am encouraging people to come over for dinner or go to places around me.
With parking, maintenance, chance of accident and getting lost, driving doesn't seem all that liberating at all. Still, all these friends read the blog, so I am sure we will eventually figure out the best way to get around, rental car or not.
I'm at a point in my life where I am trying to not drive as much as possible.
Take work. Am using the free shuttle at my work a couple of times a week and lobbying for a car share company to designate a car at my building's parking lot. Then I don't have to drive at all.
Take errands. Try to walk to as many things as possible or order things online.
Even for eating out. I am encouraging people to come over for dinner or go to places around me.
With parking, maintenance, chance of accident and getting lost, driving doesn't seem all that liberating at all. Still, all these friends read the blog, so I am sure we will eventually figure out the best way to get around, rental car or not.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
ride
i am crazy about the snow, but growing up, i would never have guessed that i would be skiing and boarding
was and probably still is quite uncoordinated
but there is something about carving on powder and being in nature
got into the sport for social reasons, but now this is something just for me
took another lesson today. my first female instructor in 11 years. she is in her early 20s, ready to go to grad school
the best thing about taking advanced boarding lesson is that so few people do that i often get a private
very cool. two chicks carving blacks. she got me to tackle some baby moguls too
yeah. life is pretty good right now
was and probably still is quite uncoordinated
but there is something about carving on powder and being in nature
got into the sport for social reasons, but now this is something just for me
took another lesson today. my first female instructor in 11 years. she is in her early 20s, ready to go to grad school
the best thing about taking advanced boarding lesson is that so few people do that i often get a private
very cool. two chicks carving blacks. she got me to tackle some baby moguls too
yeah. life is pretty good right now
Thursday, March 29, 2007
hahaha
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/Careers/10/20/cb.cushy.jobs/index.html
I could be a motivational speaker. :)
I could be a motivational speaker. :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
checking out the competition
I stopped dating off of match, but it's still entertaining. I suppose it helps to narrow people by interest or values, but who isn't nice and together on these one-pagers? At the same time, it's great for first impressions. I think it should just be head shots only, so we can just trust our gut reaction.
I like match in reading what the other women have to say. The modern version of "come and get me". Saw the profile of one woman that I just could not stand. She is the friend of a friend. Don't know what it is, I had a genuine dislike for her. Yes, I actually can dislike someone, and I am quite curious about her b/c of my strong negative reaction towards her.
Reading her profile today, my reaction changed. Despite her father's subsidy of her lifestyle, she is just like everyone else and has to put up a profile to be asked out. I guess wanting to find the right guy is something I have in common with her. We're just going about it differently. I don't need someone who shares my passions, since I am fine doing those things on my own.
I am looking for someone who is on the same wavelength. Perhaps due to work, I do care a lot about my career and don't want someone to be in the way of that pursuit. In fact, people who work a lot are going to get bonus points in my book. They can slave away at the office while I take over the world (or just jet off to the next vacation)...
I like match in reading what the other women have to say. The modern version of "come and get me". Saw the profile of one woman that I just could not stand. She is the friend of a friend. Don't know what it is, I had a genuine dislike for her. Yes, I actually can dislike someone, and I am quite curious about her b/c of my strong negative reaction towards her.
Reading her profile today, my reaction changed. Despite her father's subsidy of her lifestyle, she is just like everyone else and has to put up a profile to be asked out. I guess wanting to find the right guy is something I have in common with her. We're just going about it differently. I don't need someone who shares my passions, since I am fine doing those things on my own.
I am looking for someone who is on the same wavelength. Perhaps due to work, I do care a lot about my career and don't want someone to be in the way of that pursuit. In fact, people who work a lot are going to get bonus points in my book. They can slave away at the office while I take over the world (or just jet off to the next vacation)...
investigation
A co-worker was fired Friday while I was on vacation. Hum. I wasn't very close to him, but my curiosity got me to ask around.
Definitely politics more than anything. Am uncomfortable that a senior manager at a sister company wants me to help. They were friends. Why get involved when it is the will of the board/management to fire someone? Maybe this is meant to be?
What was incredulous was that the senior manager wasn't willing to stick her neck out but asked me to talk to the board! I started to investigate and realized that the person simply didn't meet the standard of his supervisor.
Welcome to the corporate world.
Definitely politics more than anything. Am uncomfortable that a senior manager at a sister company wants me to help. They were friends. Why get involved when it is the will of the board/management to fire someone? Maybe this is meant to be?
What was incredulous was that the senior manager wasn't willing to stick her neck out but asked me to talk to the board! I started to investigate and realized that the person simply didn't meet the standard of his supervisor.
Welcome to the corporate world.
Monday, March 26, 2007
what we cannot control
Had a great weekend, thanks to good company. No, it wasn't a romantic trip, but hanging out with people who are willing to ski in nonstop rain and snow was quite a bonding experience.
The crazy weather was a reminder that there are so many things we cannot control. There is always our attitude and being grateful.
The crazy weather was a reminder that there are so many things we cannot control. There is always our attitude and being grateful.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
better to be a woman
Went to see a few movies by myself during the film festival that is in town. Going stag has its benefits: there is always a good seat, and I can focus on the movie. Even the usher recognized me (very few people watch movies by themselves?)...
Last night, I happen to sit between 3 men, except they were all going stag too. It was funny b/c they all left a seat b/t themselves and the next guy. Is that how it is at men's bathrooms? Good for me, since I got one of the best seats in the house.
My friend C would say this is a good time to pick up. It was good practice, to talk to people in line and around my seat. Still, I kept to myself and my magazine. Just not up to picking people up randomly. Maybe this weekend if I sit next to someone interesting?
Last night, I happen to sit between 3 men, except they were all going stag too. It was funny b/c they all left a seat b/t themselves and the next guy. Is that how it is at men's bathrooms? Good for me, since I got one of the best seats in the house.
My friend C would say this is a good time to pick up. It was good practice, to talk to people in line and around my seat. Still, I kept to myself and my magazine. Just not up to picking people up randomly. Maybe this weekend if I sit next to someone interesting?
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
rules
What's up with this guy who got my number and actually calls? You are not suppose to call. It's all courtesy. You know, to make the woman feel good and say goodbye before you proceed to get the numbers of the rest of the women in the room.
Even he admits that he is breaking the five day rule: get the number Sat and wait at least until Thurs to call. He called Tuesday night!
We do have a first date, so let's wait and see.
Even he admits that he is breaking the five day rule: get the number Sat and wait at least until Thurs to call. He called Tuesday night!
We do have a first date, so let's wait and see.
Monday, March 19, 2007
girl power
Over the weekend, my little cousin corrected me when I mentioned for all the "girls" to take a picture. This eight-year-old announced that we (the older cousins) are women, not girls.
It was a touching moment. The spunky spirit of the family has just been passed down.
Lately, despite the ups and downs in every other area of my life, many, many women have been there for me. As much as we talk about needing a man, there is a reason why statistically, female companionship is the number one indicator of a woman's happiness.
More than ever, it is these women, most of them single, that are seeing me through my highs and lows.
So even though my Prince Charming must be at some finishing school, I am all right with some love from the ladies.
It was a touching moment. The spunky spirit of the family has just been passed down.
Lately, despite the ups and downs in every other area of my life, many, many women have been there for me. As much as we talk about needing a man, there is a reason why statistically, female companionship is the number one indicator of a woman's happiness.
More than ever, it is these women, most of them single, that are seeing me through my highs and lows.
So even though my Prince Charming must be at some finishing school, I am all right with some love from the ladies.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
changing and accepting
Feeling so content. More than ever, I am taking the time to listen to my intuition. Yes, it's nothing new for me to follow my gut, but never have I been so aware of its inevitable truth. By asking myself what is meant to be before an event, I am more aware of the true meaning behind ordinary moments.
Take tonight. I was suppose to meet up with a girlfriend and her friend at the film festival. Then, my friend called to say that she couldn't get tickets in time. It was going to be me and her friend. Given that we have never met, we ended up not meeting.
I was also planning to meet up with a blind date from CL but decided against it. Something about the pushy e-mails made me not pursue it. I even programmed his phone number in case I wanted to meet up, but that feeling never surfaced.
Part of the coincidence was that I am so used to going to movies by myself that I felt more confidant than usual (I am actually more calm rather than my hyper self).
Of course, this would be the night that I run into someone from my past. It was
good to see each other because this was a person who earned my respect. It was a pleasant surprise to see someone I cared about doing well.
In that moment, I felt like a new person because of all the meant-to-be. It was a very sweet moment that reminded me of all the good things ahead.
Life is indeed wonderful, and I am so moved by the beauty that comes into my life each and every day. I just hope I am smart enough to figure it out and cherish it with care and grace.
Take tonight. I was suppose to meet up with a girlfriend and her friend at the film festival. Then, my friend called to say that she couldn't get tickets in time. It was going to be me and her friend. Given that we have never met, we ended up not meeting.
I was also planning to meet up with a blind date from CL but decided against it. Something about the pushy e-mails made me not pursue it. I even programmed his phone number in case I wanted to meet up, but that feeling never surfaced.
Part of the coincidence was that I am so used to going to movies by myself that I felt more confidant than usual (I am actually more calm rather than my hyper self).
Of course, this would be the night that I run into someone from my past. It was
good to see each other because this was a person who earned my respect. It was a pleasant surprise to see someone I cared about doing well.
In that moment, I felt like a new person because of all the meant-to-be. It was a very sweet moment that reminded me of all the good things ahead.
Life is indeed wonderful, and I am so moved by the beauty that comes into my life each and every day. I just hope I am smart enough to figure it out and cherish it with care and grace.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
hanging up dancing shoes?
Was trying to go out dancing and even found 4 parties to go to tonight.
Of course, all 4 women I invited couldn't go for some reason.
Ended up at a fundraiser
function at a bar to meet up a friend. Wow, this is the pickup scene
huh? I don't mind being nice and talking, but the judgment gets old. Don't need people to tell me who I am.
Still, it's good to do something different. I probably don't want to date these men (those buttons looked uncomfortably tight), but it's good practice.
This is going to be the experiment year. Date people I normally would not come in contact with and do something different just to try it out. Can I change dramatically once again?!
Of course, all 4 women I invited couldn't go for some reason.
Ended up at a fundraiser
function at a bar to meet up a friend. Wow, this is the pickup scene
huh? I don't mind being nice and talking, but the judgment gets old. Don't need people to tell me who I am.
Still, it's good to do something different. I probably don't want to date these men (those buttons looked uncomfortably tight), but it's good practice.
This is going to be the experiment year. Date people I normally would not come in contact with and do something different just to try it out. Can I change dramatically once again?!
Friday, March 16, 2007
attack
I am so used to people attacking my choices in life because I don't always pick the most popular or the most logical choice.
I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.
Oh well.
Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.
Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.
Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.
I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.
No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.
I got upset during a meeting with a co-worker because my creative idea about how to move my projects forward elicited some personal attacks. I am glad that it wasn't rejected because there is merrit. Still, it's hard to work with people who are so controling that any change is viewed as threat and not embraced for its potential value.
Oh well.
Now I am truly grateful for having picked this job because it showed how no matter how great the projects, if the culture isn't right, I cannot be truly happy with my work.
Am beginning to see how everything fits together. I am having these moments of detachment where it all goes my way without giving away much.
Good to see how intuition is still my number one wild card.
I wasn't going to bring up my recent discussion with a local community activist in house, but the casual mention of it created a commotion. I am so glad that I went with my gut this afternoon.
No matter what happens at work, I have won so many battles in my personal life that nothing can shake me to the core any more. It's like being a good enough snowboarder finally that I don't have to look at the trail maps any more. Just head down the mountain and know that I'll manage to get back to the lift.
not a yes woman
Recommended to the board to not seek back rent but rather just move forward with the land exchange deal and end the sporadic encroachment problem.
My recommendations were not even acknowledged.
Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.
Note to self to keep applying for jobs.
It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.
At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.
My recommendations were not even acknowledged.
Same thing with my attempt to bring in a new hire who would be able to help the company. No response at all despite support from other senior managers.
Note to self to keep applying for jobs.
It's a dark moment, but I am moving on. Maybe this is what it's like to work for people who lack leadership. Most of the people here can only follow and dare not think about the best solutions.
At the same time, I am calm about everything because I've got two back-to-back trips planned. Life is gooood.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
oh my head hurts
Been given a new assignment at work, and it's just so silly. Our company the landlord never signed a contract with the tenant. The tenant pays rent every month. Now board member claims that the tenant owes rent for using land outside of the agreed upon area.
There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.
Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.
There is NO lease! What can I get then? The tenant has since scaled back, so there is no evidence of encroachment any more.
Cool problem. Shame on my company though for being sloppy landlords. Cannot believe how this company throws away money like that and then turn around and not offer simple things like a vision plan. seesh.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
in that instant
The two people who I am crazily in love with are my parents. Yes, it's a bit odd, but I always feel better when I am around them.
Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.
Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.
I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.
Picked them up from the airport in the middle of the day. Even though I had to rush back to work, it was an instant mood booster.
Every time I see them after a long absence, I feel like a happy little kid, except I am 31 now, so a happy 31-year-old. The unconditional love and attention feel marvelous, and I am so grateful that they are in my life.
I just hope I can duplicate this love affair with my own kids. I have had the unconditional acceptance my whole life, and it's the biggest ingredient of what makes me me.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
working women
Called my friend A after a 12-hour day. Monthly community meeting tonight. Turns out that she was still at work at 930pm.
As a reward, she is having coffee with her platonic friend/admirer at 11. Too bad she is not interested b/c I'm sure he is. A, you playah!
A and I talked about the state of those of us women who are independent and hard-working. We are not interested in 99% of the men we come across. Then 99% of that 1% we appreciate is married. That means...
...partly why so many of us are single. Hate to generalize, but I do know many, many more stellar single women than stellar single men.
I just have to gripe. I blame it on the mothers. If the mother has her own issues, then the result tend to be an unhealthy relationship with the son. Those of us who date the sons who don't respect women enough know the symptoms: the men are either needy or selfish.
Thank goodness for single girlfriends. Now that I have a harem of female friends, I can better handle this crazy life of a single working woman. Yes, still looking for my man, but only if he is worthy to meet all the chicas...
As a reward, she is having coffee with her platonic friend/admirer at 11. Too bad she is not interested b/c I'm sure he is. A, you playah!
A and I talked about the state of those of us women who are independent and hard-working. We are not interested in 99% of the men we come across. Then 99% of that 1% we appreciate is married. That means...
...partly why so many of us are single. Hate to generalize, but I do know many, many more stellar single women than stellar single men.
I just have to gripe. I blame it on the mothers. If the mother has her own issues, then the result tend to be an unhealthy relationship with the son. Those of us who date the sons who don't respect women enough know the symptoms: the men are either needy or selfish.
Thank goodness for single girlfriends. Now that I have a harem of female friends, I can better handle this crazy life of a single working woman. Yes, still looking for my man, but only if he is worthy to meet all the chicas...
read between the lines
From: General Manager
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:31 PM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Please call xxxxx
xxxxx,
It is not up to you to make announcements or pronouncements or redirect consultants, I am still the General Manager! While I concur that xxxxx is taking the lead on the RFP process, that process is a relatively narrow area of the settlement with xxxxx and I cannot agree with you on your assessment of original direction since I take my lead from the Chairman. So you will take direction from me on these issues and further I will be involved in all aspects of this effort.
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 3:31 PM
To: xxxxx
Subject: Re: Please call xxxxx
xxxxx,
It is not up to you to make announcements or pronouncements or redirect consultants, I am still the General Manager! While I concur that xxxxx is taking the lead on the RFP process, that process is a relatively narrow area of the settlement with xxxxx and I cannot agree with you on your assessment of original direction since I take my lead from the Chairman. So you will take direction from me on these issues and further I will be involved in all aspects of this effort.
be the man
One thing that I don't do any more is ask the guy out. After this last guy, I am spoiled. He always call, pick me up, and take me out. It was fun to meet someone who lives in the City for a change. I appreciate the experience, especially his good company.
More than ever, I am ready to settle down. Just have to wait for the right man. PJ said that I set my standards too high, but there is a reason that they call it settling. I am asking for a lot, but I have dated enough to know that it's not unrealistic.
The rest of my life goes on. Work is so intense right now it's crazy, but I am ready to ask for another raise and stepping up the networking. Like anything else, no point in complaining. Just have to get the work done. Happy right now because life is so harmonious and balanced.
More than ever, I am ready to settle down. Just have to wait for the right man. PJ said that I set my standards too high, but there is a reason that they call it settling. I am asking for a lot, but I have dated enough to know that it's not unrealistic.
The rest of my life goes on. Work is so intense right now it's crazy, but I am ready to ask for another raise and stepping up the networking. Like anything else, no point in complaining. Just have to get the work done. Happy right now because life is so harmonious and balanced.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
dare
Rather than trying to go to Tahoe all by myself, I decided to do something daring and find a random person to go with on craigslist. I was open to gender and age.
There was an ad m4w looking for someone to carpool last weekend. I replied in part because that the person posted in the strictly platonic section. With a good feeling about the ad, I replied and sent in my picture.
After a few short e-mails, the guy and I agreed to meet at a Safeway parking lot near my place and take a day trip to Tahoe. Up until the in-person meeting, I didn't know what the person looked like.
Everything worked out, and I had a blast. Got to the blacks and found a kindred spirit. Even made it back Saturday night in time to join my future sister-in-law for her bachelorette party where we danced until wee hours.
The most interesting thing about the experience was everyone else's reaction. There was a lot of worrying and even some self-defense advice Friday. One friend even told that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Yes, there were reasons to be alarmed, but I felt that I did what I could to hedge my risks. Day-trip snowboarders and skiiers have to be dedicated enough to make those trips. Plus, my e-mail exchanges with the person reassured me.
I truly believe in fate, and if it's in my cards to get hurt, then so be it. I have never had a failure because everything is meant to be. Still, I will never do this again because snow sports is to be shared with loved ones.
It was a strange weekend because for the first time, I found a reason to have kids. I want to share my world with my next in kin and to raise kids to express my values.
Don't know if it'll ever happen, but I dare to find out.
There was an ad m4w looking for someone to carpool last weekend. I replied in part because that the person posted in the strictly platonic section. With a good feeling about the ad, I replied and sent in my picture.
After a few short e-mails, the guy and I agreed to meet at a Safeway parking lot near my place and take a day trip to Tahoe. Up until the in-person meeting, I didn't know what the person looked like.
Everything worked out, and I had a blast. Got to the blacks and found a kindred spirit. Even made it back Saturday night in time to join my future sister-in-law for her bachelorette party where we danced until wee hours.
The most interesting thing about the experience was everyone else's reaction. There was a lot of worrying and even some self-defense advice Friday. One friend even told that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done.
Yes, there were reasons to be alarmed, but I felt that I did what I could to hedge my risks. Day-trip snowboarders and skiiers have to be dedicated enough to make those trips. Plus, my e-mail exchanges with the person reassured me.
I truly believe in fate, and if it's in my cards to get hurt, then so be it. I have never had a failure because everything is meant to be. Still, I will never do this again because snow sports is to be shared with loved ones.
It was a strange weekend because for the first time, I found a reason to have kids. I want to share my world with my next in kin and to raise kids to express my values.
Don't know if it'll ever happen, but I dare to find out.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
familiar territory
Once again, I have the welcoming dilemma of deciding whether to hit Tahoe by myself.
The determination to hit the slopes is due to an upcoming snowboarding trip to Denver. Need some polishing up to join some advance skiiers. Plus, I've got extra discount tickets from 3 weekends ago.
The last time I took a snowboarding trip to Tahoe by myself, I mastered the blacks. Time to get that feeling back, with or without board buddies.
Life is good. There is nothing like this knowing feeling of getting to where I need to go, alone or in good company.
The determination to hit the slopes is due to an upcoming snowboarding trip to Denver. Need some polishing up to join some advance skiiers. Plus, I've got extra discount tickets from 3 weekends ago.
The last time I took a snowboarding trip to Tahoe by myself, I mastered the blacks. Time to get that feeling back, with or without board buddies.
Life is good. There is nothing like this knowing feeling of getting to where I need to go, alone or in good company.
the art of dating
It's no wonder that the men are intimidated. My friend A confided that she can't seem to meet anyone who is good enough. Financially independent, stylish, and the best female boarder and the best climber that I know. And, she can party.
Yet despite being perfect, she still has to play by the dating rules. Maybe that's why I like dating. It helps to have all these qualifications, but unlike a job, the role of the woman is still to make men desire her.
Some people just need to be impressed to commit, especially women. From my experience though, in order to really know someone, you still have to create that magic where the other person cannot get enough of you.
I am not advocating playing dumb or not to be oneself, but it's key to create enough opportunities for the guy to reveal his true self. I find it amazing that most of us don't even realize that we have several selves and rarely reveal our true selves.
Only by getting a glimpse of a person's core self can you know that the relationship is going to work.
Back to A. We concluded that she just need to focus on creating those opportunities. In the mean time, it's trying to keep track of this crazy girl who just came back from Whistler and is off to climb in Spain next month...
Yet despite being perfect, she still has to play by the dating rules. Maybe that's why I like dating. It helps to have all these qualifications, but unlike a job, the role of the woman is still to make men desire her.
Some people just need to be impressed to commit, especially women. From my experience though, in order to really know someone, you still have to create that magic where the other person cannot get enough of you.
I am not advocating playing dumb or not to be oneself, but it's key to create enough opportunities for the guy to reveal his true self. I find it amazing that most of us don't even realize that we have several selves and rarely reveal our true selves.
Only by getting a glimpse of a person's core self can you know that the relationship is going to work.
Back to A. We concluded that she just need to focus on creating those opportunities. In the mean time, it's trying to keep track of this crazy girl who just came back from Whistler and is off to climb in Spain next month...
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
courage
Have been quite happy lately because I am able to express myself and act on my intuition almost 100% of the time.
Slowly, I am learning to remove a lot of the fears that can hold me back and sap my precious energy.
Instead, life is about feeding the body, mind and soul all the good things that make me better.
It takes courage though. I have to say no to people who aren't meant to be in my life, no to people who anger me, and no to injustice.
Mostly, it takes courage to be selfish now and then. I am quite selfish, but I can also be quite generous. Happiness is striking the balance between taking and giving. I feel more and more on top of the world because I am striking that perfect balance each day in my professional AND personal life.
Sometimes fate lets me know it's time to scale back. Was suppose to have a dinner party tonight, and two people cancled and a third never got back to me. Guess I'll have to cook for one and finally list that ad on CL to sell the car. When I get the time to do things for myself, I take advantage. Do you?
Slowly, I am learning to remove a lot of the fears that can hold me back and sap my precious energy.
Instead, life is about feeding the body, mind and soul all the good things that make me better.
It takes courage though. I have to say no to people who aren't meant to be in my life, no to people who anger me, and no to injustice.
Mostly, it takes courage to be selfish now and then. I am quite selfish, but I can also be quite generous. Happiness is striking the balance between taking and giving. I feel more and more on top of the world because I am striking that perfect balance each day in my professional AND personal life.
Sometimes fate lets me know it's time to scale back. Was suppose to have a dinner party tonight, and two people cancled and a third never got back to me. Guess I'll have to cook for one and finally list that ad on CL to sell the car. When I get the time to do things for myself, I take advantage. Do you?
Monday, March 05, 2007
the field that you land on
In the parking lot at work, there is a walkway with flower beds on both sides. On the west side, the flowers thrive b/c they are in direct sunlight. On the east side, the plants don't bloom b/c they are in the shade. The parked cars block their sunlight.
Looking at the flowers, I am reminded of what a hairdresser told me once: A woman's life is like a seed; her happiness is dependent on the conditions of the land the seed is scattered on.
Amazing how I don't have to live by traditional gender roles. I no longer derive my happiness from anyone else but myself.
True, like the flowers, there are lots of things outside my control that affect my destiny. Who knew tearing up the dance floor Sat night was going to trigger an old knee injury? Still, I have all the resources to fix myself and make it back to the slopes.
It's all up to me now. This seed is going places.
Looking at the flowers, I am reminded of what a hairdresser told me once: A woman's life is like a seed; her happiness is dependent on the conditions of the land the seed is scattered on.
Amazing how I don't have to live by traditional gender roles. I no longer derive my happiness from anyone else but myself.
True, like the flowers, there are lots of things outside my control that affect my destiny. Who knew tearing up the dance floor Sat night was going to trigger an old knee injury? Still, I have all the resources to fix myself and make it back to the slopes.
It's all up to me now. This seed is going places.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
arriving at the next level
It was a weekend full of love and attention by all my friends. Was a bit bummed about the dissing earlier in the week, but I now realize that moving on w/o getting hurt is the best kind of dating.
Totally amazed at how my friendships, men and female, are better than ever.
Yes, there are still so much to do and accomplish, but I am completely happy about most things.
Life feels harmonious despite an injured knee (again!). I now know eactly what to do and how to be in balance all the time. It's all within. There is no longer any doubts or any search for the answers. I just have to trust myself, and I naturally do the right thing, always.
Totally amazed at how my friendships, men and female, are better than ever.
Yes, there are still so much to do and accomplish, but I am completely happy about most things.
Life feels harmonious despite an injured knee (again!). I now know eactly what to do and how to be in balance all the time. It's all within. There is no longer any doubts or any search for the answers. I just have to trust myself, and I naturally do the right thing, always.
Friday, March 02, 2007
what are you worth
Just interviewed a female attorney who bills at $665 an hour. She is worth every penny too. I know I shouldn't be impressed by things like that, but it's so cool.
The best part is knowing that by switching careers, I am able to work on projects that hire attorneys who bill at that level. Excited.
The best part is knowing that by switching careers, I am able to work on projects that hire attorneys who bill at that level. Excited.
wimp
Why do some men cut things off completely just when the conversation is getting interesting?
I met enough men where they stop calling competely to know it's the code for "I am just not that into you." Still, I just wish they can send an e-mail if not the courtesy phone call to make it official.
I always give the courtesy of an ending speech, since it's nothing personal. Just don't feel the connection any more.
Oh well, back to dating again. Who will be the next Mr. Right (Now)?
I met enough men where they stop calling competely to know it's the code for "I am just not that into you." Still, I just wish they can send an e-mail if not the courtesy phone call to make it official.
I always give the courtesy of an ending speech, since it's nothing personal. Just don't feel the connection any more.
Oh well, back to dating again. Who will be the next Mr. Right (Now)?
Thursday, March 01, 2007
protect my singlehood
Talked to two friends yesterday about dating and making time to date. Have we become a culture that is so fixated on work and ourselves that we no longer make time to find that special someone?
At the same time, I do think it's all fated, so why fall prey to all the pressures to find someone? What if I am meant to be single forever and just live this decadent lifestyle for the rest of my life?
Given that most of the world has little appreciation for being single, an important habit to maintain my choice to be single is to avoid situations where being single is deemed negative. My friend went to Hawaii for a wedding stag, and she said that everything was good until the end, when everyone started to dance with their dates. That's why I don't go to friends' weddings stag any more or just skip out before the dancing starts.
Company parties, go with a female friend or carpool with a female co-worker and leave early.
Movies, go on a busy night right before lights go out and sit between two couples. There is always a single choice seat (that's a perk of a being single!)
Parties, throw one, so people will bring themselves to you.
Family functions, focus on the conversations on the other person.
Seek out other singles. I love being single because of the myriad of people I have connected with. Two nights ago, I went to a panel on being an artist in San Francisco and gave one of the panelists a ride home. She and I had a lively discussion about how I can help the art scene in the City. That conversation would have been so limited if either one of us had someone else with us.
Most importantly, cultivate your own hobbies. Nothing more admirable than someone who can keep his or own own company well.
Yes, it'll be welcoming when I am settled down with that special someone again, but given that being single might be a dimishing luxury, I want to enjoy it fully!
At the same time, I do think it's all fated, so why fall prey to all the pressures to find someone? What if I am meant to be single forever and just live this decadent lifestyle for the rest of my life?
Given that most of the world has little appreciation for being single, an important habit to maintain my choice to be single is to avoid situations where being single is deemed negative. My friend went to Hawaii for a wedding stag, and she said that everything was good until the end, when everyone started to dance with their dates. That's why I don't go to friends' weddings stag any more or just skip out before the dancing starts.
Company parties, go with a female friend or carpool with a female co-worker and leave early.
Movies, go on a busy night right before lights go out and sit between two couples. There is always a single choice seat (that's a perk of a being single!)
Parties, throw one, so people will bring themselves to you.
Family functions, focus on the conversations on the other person.
Seek out other singles. I love being single because of the myriad of people I have connected with. Two nights ago, I went to a panel on being an artist in San Francisco and gave one of the panelists a ride home. She and I had a lively discussion about how I can help the art scene in the City. That conversation would have been so limited if either one of us had someone else with us.
Most importantly, cultivate your own hobbies. Nothing more admirable than someone who can keep his or own own company well.
Yes, it'll be welcoming when I am settled down with that special someone again, but given that being single might be a dimishing luxury, I want to enjoy it fully!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
the driver calls the shot
Tonight, I turned down a casaul dinner party at a friend's house to go on a date. I told my friend that it was due to fatigue from the long drive, and it was true. What I didn't explain was that her intensity isn't always something that I can entertain.
Even though I have so many friends, not all of them fit the different sides of me. Very few people see my dark side, but that side can surface, especially when I am tired.
Last night, driving in the blizzard in an unsuccessful attempt to get to Reno from our vacation home, I definitely hit that dark moment. The stress of having to navigate with almost-zero visiability wasn't painful; I was overwhelmed by being responsible for my four passengers. I always want everyone to have a good time, and just the possibility of getting hurt or killed in a snow storm was not part of the plan.
I then realized for the first time that the friends closest to me are the ones to whom I can reliquish control. They are so capable that I don't mind their advice or to follow their lead. At the same time, these people know how to let me take control most of the time b/c that's how I want to showcase my talents and that's how I care for someone.
Hum, makes me wonder...How a guy takes control isn't nearly as important as why I can give up control so easily? I am not sure yet, but these dates may just explain it finally...
Even though I have so many friends, not all of them fit the different sides of me. Very few people see my dark side, but that side can surface, especially when I am tired.
Last night, driving in the blizzard in an unsuccessful attempt to get to Reno from our vacation home, I definitely hit that dark moment. The stress of having to navigate with almost-zero visiability wasn't painful; I was overwhelmed by being responsible for my four passengers. I always want everyone to have a good time, and just the possibility of getting hurt or killed in a snow storm was not part of the plan.
I then realized for the first time that the friends closest to me are the ones to whom I can reliquish control. They are so capable that I don't mind their advice or to follow their lead. At the same time, these people know how to let me take control most of the time b/c that's how I want to showcase my talents and that's how I care for someone.
Hum, makes me wonder...How a guy takes control isn't nearly as important as why I can give up control so easily? I am not sure yet, but these dates may just explain it finally...
Thursday, February 22, 2007
my new career
Today I lunched with the project manager for one of the premier residential building in San Francisco.
And she's in her early 30s.
It's great to connect about our love for San Francisco and things like City Car Share and LEED.
Psyched on this new path I am taking about my work. If I am going to make it as a real estate developer, it's time to think bigger. Think of what I want to do, and think about how to get there.
Still the same old me, but feeling better about all the obsticles I am going to get through to get farther. Looking back, those three careers in the past have taken me this far, and it's time to get to that next level!
And she's in her early 30s.
It's great to connect about our love for San Francisco and things like City Car Share and LEED.
Psyched on this new path I am taking about my work. If I am going to make it as a real estate developer, it's time to think bigger. Think of what I want to do, and think about how to get there.
Still the same old me, but feeling better about all the obsticles I am going to get through to get farther. Looking back, those three careers in the past have taken me this far, and it's time to get to that next level!
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